I forgive the fifth-floor window
who I once asked to swallow
me into the night.

I forgive the water who
once called out to me
when I walked above
its rushing currents.

I forgive the Aisle 10
in Home Depot
who once sold me
the razor blades
that kept my hoodie
on all summer.

I forgive the basement rafters
who once held the rope
that I planned to use
as my permanent escape.

I forgive the bathroom mirror
who once failed to disagree
when I sobbed to it
about the ugliness of
each feature on my face.

I forgive the scale who once
hurled numbers at me
without mentioning that
my weight was not
something to fret over.

I forgive the scars who
were once a release to me,
and who neglected to tell me
that they would not leave
even if I asked them to.

I forgive the pen whose ink
once helped write what I
thought would be my last words.

I forgive the doorknob who
once let me lock myself away
from everyone who loved me,
and who watched as I tried
to never come out again.

and above all,
I forgive the person
who I once hated most.

I forgive her for her anger,
and her hateful words,
and her nonstop cruelty.

I forgive her for
being the hardest person
I've ever had to forgive.

I forgive myself.

I want to slip
Into Oasis
Become pixelated
Back in the 80s
Watch as all my fandoms
Come to life
I can have coffee
With Molly Ringwald
At The Peach Pit
Before hitting the beaches
Of Costa del Sol
Later check into the Overlook Hotel
To slow dance with Casper
As listen to theme music
Of Castlevania
To pedal a bmx bike
And touch the stars
To hang in detention
With the brat pack
To have my entire life soundtrack
Badly synthesized 80s tunes
I guess I am saying
I want my 2020
A little more Oasis
And a lot less
Black Mirror

here, time is a truck
with waxed wheels. but it
keeps pacing, keeps paving the path
to destruction; in dreams, I pluck

myself from its sheath, let it sweep
over me like a tide; on the
ground, I gather my garments,
as stones and seashells, slip

into their ethers, where eternity
waits. here, pyramids don’t converge
as they taper; they tunnel
like a lair that has lost its lucidity

& I’m wandering within their walls,
clueless, clouded—a captive child
eager to escape into enlightenment,
or another dream, where bliss befalls.

this is a paper-dream gobbling
reality—down to its
bone, bruised bare & bleeding.

I just want to write
Escape this blight, out of sight
A dream for tonight

all we feel is pain
from a society that has torn us apart.
our words ignite thunder,
and our actions burn scars.
our views have altered because of
dreams crushed by stars.
our reality has deadened,
like our once-beautiful hearts.

Crickets chirping
A pulsating veil
Beyond which silence knocks
Heat seethes from baking rocks
Alive in this aching
Swathed in hot spring's cocoon
Crushed **** steeping
Nurturing her hushed bleeds
Wonder's womb weeping
A carrion bird perching,
Unsated, wails