I carried in 20 pounds of groceries today...

Food I'll never eat.
Crawling back to bed I think
About the 20lbs I'm missing.

Everything is fine.
Going to the grocery store was...
Almost passing out

Weaving in and out of people
Staring. Why are they staring?
The metal under my hand as hot as my face.

It's suffocating.
This metallic taste.
I'm so hungry.

Everything is fine.
Is what I tell
Friends and family.

But nobody knows
I go straight to sleep
When I get home.

I want to die.
But I'm too scared.

So I silently cry under my sheets
With no energy to
Get up or eat.

Does true pain really go away, or does it get benched till another episode kicks in.

ang dami **** gusto
lahat na lang pinapangarap.
sana nga ay sapat ang panahon
o 'di kaya'y sobra-sobra pa.
mataas abutin pinipilit pa rin
kung mababa naman, walang kagana-gana.
nasa'n kaya 'yong tamang-tama?
hindi na makuntento kahit kailan
laging nag-aasam ng bago
lalo na 'yong naiiba
para bang moda na papalit-palit.
hanggang saan kaya
ang lakas na makakaya?
upang itong mundo'y hubugin
sa gusto at ayaw ng iyong sarili?
masaklap kung minsan ang buhay na ito
kaya kailangan ang tibay ng loob.
umasa sa liwanag na dala ng pag-asa,
konting tiis lang,
umaga na naman.

hands wrinkled and pruned
from ****** city water
the **** labeled blue "C"
tweaked all around

no red warmth

tonight I hold myself
contortion my arms and legs
until I'm small enough to fade
into the corner of the bed

no human skin

imaginary monsters hissing
hibernating over five years
they want to come out again
sink their teeth into my brain

no reliable breath

my pathetic veins stay blue
squeezing my cold body for safety
to no avail, my lungs remain stretched
about to rip down the middle

you’re not an
episode
worth skipping.

you’re a
series
worth bingeing.