Lost without hope, what do you expect.
accept, the complex aspects of my regrets.
But I beg for more, I appreciate the lessons
from so many different aspects.  My two cents is starting to make sense, so these reality checks, is past tense. I move forward with a clear mind, no pretense. I listen and I learn, so my third eye being blind, is my strongest sense.

Receiving and reflecting
on revolting reassurances.
You reason with me
"I'm right",
ranting on about your righteous
wrongs.
Ruefully agreeing to you,
an overrated relationship
rescued by agreeance.

An overwhelming wave of fear
hit me last night before bed
an understanding, a realization
of how it really feels
to have happiness taken away,
love, torn from my grasp

You are no longer here
with me, near me, inside of me
who would have thought
that I would need you so much?
I cannot let go
even though you are already gone

We were separated too soon
I need time to love you more
though, those were not my intentions
at the beginning
you were fun, we had fun
and now
all I want is more of you

I need more of you

So many thoughts and ideas,  come and go like a candle on a stormy day. So many poems i'll never post because I cant get my thoughts to convey, in just the right way. So at the end of the day, it's just a draft incomplete something missing.....

four times
in one day
she will say to me
she will say
I am lovable
then, she will go
and not come back

I ask her once
why can I not
love her

I found a letter
she had wrote
for another girl
it was beautiful

I want her
to make me happy
help me feel
nice feelings again

Why do they leave me
and why do I stay?

Stop them, please
I need to love
she needs to know
I cannot speak for my heart
when nobody is around
to listen, anymore

I am an army of jealous marching,
Armed with guitars.
I am no conqueror,
Lording over roses,
But they won’t get near you.
You are a flower of your own.
Your tongue is a ninja.
A kunai is at my throat.
Your *******…is a tactical unit.

I know what I want.
And I am easily angered.
Yes, you would see me
Slaughtering flying-kisses
With a Balisong;
Love letters for you--
Burned, gunpowder.
I would be on the watch
With a machine gun,
Guarding your heart.
And then you would call me
Weird.

You see, my heart has a detonator.
And if it's your wish to see me
Exploding, then let it be,
Yet do not pick the pieces,
The adjectives in the streets--
You will only make a lament
Out of them.

Dear,
I am just a blacksmith of words.
And your love…is a blazing fire.

I am at war
With your senses,
Your attention.
You are mine.*

© 2014 J.S.P.

She wasn't just beautiful, she was complicated, with a strong mind. She was fierce, and barely slept at night. Coffee was her drug,  and wine her exilir. She wasn't just talkative, she had something to say, something that mattered.

Living our life, in a place so untrue.
Search for life, no directions I am just getting by
going through
these things I keep going through.
Playing my part
Cause that's what I am suppose to do.
I know what I want, but
Even that ain't true.
Giving it all I got,
cause it's all I can do.

jumped  off the edge
looking for adventure
Found freedom
Midflight
spent the day
falling between miles
Until midnight
landing on a building
And set sights on an empire

I see you for what you are,
that's why I love you so much more.
Now is not before,
fooled me once,
I've been warned.
Lovers lost
lovers scorn.
Sent I felt your touch
my hearts been warmed.
Love your Pain more
than the thought of alone.