:::A poetry to Baek Won Kyu.
Rest in peace, rest in love:::

People said,
Heaven is the happiest place.
The place where you want to be.

So I let my thoughts run free,
Thinking about heaven,
And what it would be for me.

Heaven for me is you;
The first day I met you in Seoul,
Our first conversation,
Our love...

Heaven for me is you;
When you were sitting next to me,
Telling thousands stories,
Shared thousands kisses,
And spent everyday looking at the night stars.
Laugh.
True happiness.

Heaven for me is you;
When you taught me the new levels of love.
Pure.
Deep.

Heaven was what I thought we could be;
Together...
But then you left,
Too soon,
To the God's heaven up there...

O my heaven,
Please wait for me,
For I will join you someday.
And become one at last.

Bandung, 5 September 2020

KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com

Instagram
@kanya.puspokusumo
@maeum_heart

It is hard for me to find love,
because love for me
is not just about
the magic three words.
It is much deeper than that.

It is hard for me to find love,
because I can only fall in love
with person who falls in love
with my thoughts first
then my soul...
Because that's exactly
the way I will love him;
love his thoughts first,
then his soul...
not the physical performance.

It is hard for me to find love,
because I'm a free spirit
who wants to love someone
only if he agreed to free his fear
of being himself,
And brave enough to open
all of his weaknesses before me.
No masks. No secrets.

It's hard for me to find love,
because in my mind
true love will always be
the matter of loving 'the inner soul'
and our free willing
to do all the relationship commitment
without being told to do so.
Then flying together with our own wings to the everlasting.

November 9, 2019
KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com

At the unknown station,
An old soul is waiting for the train to get back home,
After 800 years trapped on earth,
With all memories of
The 800 years journey,
That cannot be erased,
Cannot be forgotten...
.
At the unknown station,
an old soul is waiting for the train to get back home,
After 800 years trapped on earth.
The home where the far is near
And the near is far...
Where too far is sometimes really near
And too near is sometimes really far...
.
But,
"How far is near?"
And "How near is far?", anyway?
"Is far really near?"
Or "Is near really far?"...
While I'm waiting for the train to get back home at the unknown station,
I then cannot stop questioning the questions!
-KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO-
(An alien that trying to get back home)
May 21, 2018

(13 years ago,
after coma...)

People said that I'm back to life.
But I know that I'm not really back to life...  
A half of my soul is still somewhere
between the door of life and death until now.
It exists beyond time and place,
to create the connection between two worlds,
to bring the message from the past, present, and future,
to be the mirror that reflect all the energy,
to feel the hidden colour in every substance,
and to reveal some secrets of the universe.

Some people call me crazy or a liar because of that
Some other people start to annoy me
by treating me like a psychic
and ask many things about their future.
But, I'm not a psychic
that can give people the tarot card reading or prophecy
or telling about their destiny
whenever they want, by order.
I can't control when and what messages I will get by touching things
I can't control when and what colour I will see in you.

No, I'm not a psychic.
I'm just a "dimension traveler"
I'm the half soul that travels free
with the universe,
while my other half soul is waiting on the earth,
to receive the all travel reports
and to share the news and wisdom from the sky.
-Kanya Puspokusumo-

I'm here,
surrounded by many people,
making new friends,
opening my heart
to welcome a new love.
A vivid life seems to be!

But deep inside,
I'm just a leaf,
that fell to the ground,
and desperately hoping the wind
to fly me to the star...

Then the paradoxical thoughts
start playing in my mind.
The leaf is here, but it is not... .
Loving the star,
but it cannot be loved...
Smile is always
covering the emptiness...
Because the star
is a way too far to reach.
What a lonely leaf!
-Kanya Puspokusumo-

"I'm an abstract painting.
Some people
will easily judge me
as nothing
but an ugly painting.
Some people
will like the colors
or the composition
of me.
Some people
will praise the painter
for creating a piece of art.
But only a true artist
will understand
that in every stroke,
I'm telling you
only the truth
about a journey
of the soul" .
-Kanya Puspokusumo-

There was a time
when I blocked my face
with two palms,
only to avoid seeing the world.
But the two palms can only block
the world in my eyes,
not the world in my heart.
The world in my heart
is always too big
to be blocked by the palms.
Especially when there is you in it.

You...
smiling and offering the love
that reminds me
to the most delicious
Korean persimmons
in Autumn season.

(Now I start to feel that without you,
Seoul is nothing but an empty city,
and the world is nothing but an empty place).

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com

Autumn.
The leaves are turning
brown and gold
Then fall.

Autumn.
It's about leaves and trees
Leaves leave trees
Trees are left. Naked.

But autumn
is more than the story
about 'leaving' and 'being left'.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never worry
of being left by the leaves.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never afraid
of letting go all things,
and being happy afterwards.

Because the trees know
there will always be
the new and better leaves
grow on them in spring.

And being left is actually a way
to a better coming...

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com .