Last year at this time, I was snuggled into your neck
Our breathing was in sync and you held me tighter than anyone I've ever met my entire life
It felt like our souls were in a dance among the stars we gazed at just minutes before.

I was also in four pieces
Clean cut, defined and precise
My psyche was a honed machine that operated at four different levels
Constantly working to see what information I could siphon
In order to better understand the world

Then the parts turned
Famished eyes seeing one another for the first time
And realizing how much information was there,
How much information was untouched

And they encircled one another
Ripping each other to shreds and slowly chewing and savoring
Each bite a bitter slap to the face with raw information from the universe itself
Painful
Heartbreaking
Addicting

Now I'm better (probably)
I don't know what parts ate what
Or what that will do to them
I don't even know how many are left

I just know what I experience daily
Each blessed moment of clarity
Each time my own synapses spits in my face
Each moment that I wonder who or what I am
Knowing the end will never come
Unless I ask it to nicely.

If only life hadn't taught me my ******* manners.