Tell me, the reddish hug
of a distant horizon around us
- one more time

when we took the grace
of the world, with open
arms and mind

and we held hands
for others to see.

Tell me all of that, before
I depart from my body
to see

how you treat my shell
until it loses the final
power to breath.

Did I say ‘worry not’
As the juggernaut
Marauded your mind?
A force of this kind
Mercilessly thunders in
Relentlessly plundering
Lands safe and sacred
Can’t save what’s wasted
And I’m trying to find words
Striving to still your world
While your world is raided
The words you were looking for faded
The darkest of all thieves
Steals your memories
As if they were just leaves
In an autumn breeze
And they drift so swiftly
Till out of your reach
I beg the disease
Let her remember me please
Don’t steal me from her
Don’t steal her from me
It won’t hear my plea
I see the nature of this beast
Takes its course
Without remorse
Indiscriminately devours all
Both the meek and the powerful
No justice is served
No-one gets what’s deserved


Did I say ‘worry not’
When you forgot
That I’d said it before?
I suppose we’ll be doing this more
Nothing can be done
But you’ve already won
The fight isn’t now
It’s been and goes on
I’ll hold you near
Fight the fear
Hold the tears
There’ll never be less of you here
Here in my heart
You can’t
Be lost
There in your soul
The whole of me
And all our history
Resides
For all of time

I went to your house today.
You remembered I was coming.
And to take a bath. And eat.
You told me a story that happened
yesterday, not seventy-five years ago.
You didn’t ask the same question
thirteen times. There was no argument
about prescription drugs or bloodwork.
You didn’t slam the door.
But, of course, none of that happened.
How could it?
You are here and
you are
gone.


[Note: This poem was originally published in Cadence Collective's anthology Then & Now: Conversations With Old Friends, available for purchase here: https://sadiegirlpress.com/2015/11/04/then-now-conversations-with-old-friends/]

For your sake Mom, Dad
Truth comforts not Dementia
Your Loving Lier

I left time at the door
with my shoes and my plans
and I let go of expectation.
I settled down with my mug
of concentrated calm
and I centred myself
on my mother's withered world,
while she continued to rage within.

Am I still me?
Am I still m
Am I still
Am I stil
Am I sti
Am I st
Am I s
Am I
Am
A
Am
Am I
Am I s
Am I st
Am I sti
Am I stil
Am I still
Am I still r
Am I still re
Am I still rem
Am I still reme
Am I still remem
Am I still rememb
Am I still remembe
Am I still remember
Am I still remembere
Am I still remembered?