From the beginning
we were born to die.
There is no starting over.
There are no second chances.
With death carved on our skin
how could we live a normal life?

You could run but you'll one day run out of breath.
It's just a game.
You hide your pain and sorrow.
Save it for another day
when everything just falls apart and you can't pick it up.

Medicine and alcohol keeps you awake
As you hunt your demons and monsters.
You could choose to die but then this world would fall apart.
You give others that second chance,
you give them time to run and escape
while you slaughter their monsters,
and **** their demons instead.

You've got blood on your hands
and a soldier's heart.
Your brain is beautiful
just corrupted.
You smile to stay strong
and your humor hides your internal scars.

In the end
you'll look back on your youth
and notice you died a long time ago.
You never had the chance to be happy.
You'll never know the feeling of growing old with your lover
because all your lovers are either buried below your feet,
or somewhere up in the sky with the stars.
It's not that far,
one day you'll be with them.
Then, you'll finally be able to rest your tired hands.

And right before your eyes I'm dying
and breaking,
falling to pieces.
You try to pick them up but they turn to dust in your hands.
You find yourself gripping your hair and turning to tears
not quite sure you're fully letting this sink in.
You've been in this hospital chair for so many years
but you never thought that one day it'll actually come to an end.
This is the last time you find yourself here
This is the last time you'll hear me say your name.

I'm you're little brother, not a soldier.
I wasn't built for a life on the line.
I did what you told me and I'm drained out.
You regret it
I know, you told me so many times over.
But that doesn't fix it,
It won't make me better this time.

I'm lying here, breathless.
And I want you to know
That I'm okay with letting go.
I'll finally get to rest
After all these years.

Tell me what you have to say
and I'll carry it to my grave
to think of all the time.
You'll still be my brother
even when I'll be on the other side,
and you're left here to create fresh tracks
on your own without someone as your guide.

Anger curls around him
Grips him tight in giant claws
Takes hold before he can even process
It’s still dark
His knees still aching in the dirt
His best friend is still dead

Claws digging in, he pitches forward
Hands resting on dead man’s shoulders
He could have stopped this
He should have stopped this
He would have stopped this
And taken his place in a heartbeat

Too angry to cry
Too angry to say anything
He’s alone and the claws dig in deeper
It’s all directed towards himself
Not to the man on the ground
Because Castiel is a man now,
His burnt-out wings are testimony for that
And it hurts so **** much.

As if all the anger rises to the surface
All in one go
Like a volcano on the verge of eruption
Dean shouts to the sky
Ignoring the slight twinkling stars
And the bright moon
It’s supposed to be beautiful
But it’s ugly
Ugly with his own rage

Give him back!