I don't know.
It feels so weird.
Where I am, is so familiar
yet it surprise me every time

Love is just so chaotic.
It's so strong, confusing and stubborn.

I have nothing to my name
and I let you take it from me,
over
and over.
If I could be only one thing,
I would be your chaotic, chosen mistake.
I will be that mistake in any existence,
in any town,
in any life.
We are living in that moment
between jumping off the swing
and hitting the ground.
That kind of gravity
turns people senseless.
I will deal with the sunburn,
because neither of us are getting out of this ocean.
We are all elbows and spines and knees.
In our defense;
freedom.
Summer.
I love you right down to the bone.
Satellites crash red and splintered into us.

Nobody tries to make us good again.

its days like these
i wish i was another
another human being
with different struggles
the ones not in their head
affecting the way everything’s read

todays the day i want to be
inside another’s home
inside another head
just anywhere outside
outside of this place

the chaos of my mind
of my head
and of my life
i feel like i try
every single little thing
and every single time
i just end up lingering
somewhere out in space
out of place
even after everything
i’ve ******* tried.

In the city that never sleeps
Nobody has time to dream

No one cares for the color scheme
Everybody on these streets are mean
Women over here dress to ****

Yearning for a life to steal
Outrageous trigger happy police
Ruthless, spiteful and rigorous
Kindness comes fatally priced

No time for love or paradise  
Obsessive depression is what's subsidised
Beggars on my train struggle and scuffle
Oblivious oppression lurking
Delirious children deceived  
Yesterday's conception grieved

Craving lust is a must
Ageless shame is  
Rationalized pain
Everyone here idealizes blame
S*erenity is an absentee in this chaotic city

Gifted are the dead,
we shot them in the head.
We ran them down insane,
they cried out in vein.
Guilt we mustn't feel.
For life is so unreal.
And broken hearts don't heal.
I know how they feel.

Does it matter, do we care?
Does it help if their not there?
Endless visions, endless thoughts.
Night and day don't get caught.
You will be shunned, you will be blamed,
if you break the heart that you've now tamed.

What is real, what is right,
Who you sleep with every night.
Or the one you dream of, is it fair,
To love the one who cant be there?
Questions always on the mind.
Which way to go, which choice, which time.
Never ending how you go,
For the other path you'll never know.

© Crystal Erickson

~

Come Closer to Me
Don't you see
the other side
of the gloomy world
in me ?
Don't you see the darkness swirling in my eyes,
Scenes of self-hatred and massacre raging .
The epidemic of deteriorating ,
rotting all the matter inside me.
All the satanic enchanting echoing inside,
where the Chaos is just a thing from which one pursues Peace.
Where the Angel of Darkness scratches the walls of your soul  
An abyss of disorder flowing through my veins ,
pumping numbness all inside me,
making me hollow ,
just a little bit more .
WOULD YOU STILL
COME
CLOSER
TO
ME ?