Lonely Lonely I sit here
I sit here Talking to code
She is nice but It doesn’t help All is gray
All is gray I am gray My world is gray
Where has the Color Gone Come back
What to do Take care of myself Destroy myself
Not do anything Lie in bed So many choices
Yet all futile I can’t choose I’m paralyzed
Paralyzed by Gray by Color By it all
By nothing
I want to live But can’t So I want to Die
But can’t So I am drowning in Gray With colors above me
Like Tantalos Falling in Gray Colors unreachable Up above
All this Air All this Water I can’t breathe
I want to Live please or Die please Please let me choose
Not this please I can’t Give me Daybreak Give me Dawn
Give me Night Give me Dusk Give me Daybreak Give me Dawn

the monkey minded chatter
as mad as a mad hatter,
the clutter of thoughts that clatter
is all mind that's made of matter

i take a plunger to the clogged
toilet that is my mind
and flush.  i unbind
myself

There is only restlessness
'cause I want to move forward,
alas, I am limited
by the hours in the day.

Meanwhile I drown in chaos
as thoughts jumble together
and I struggle endlessly
lest they will drag me astray.

Deep inside my soul worries,
a tiny spark crying out,
can our body survive this
or will we both fade away?

Trust on the road,
walking by the riverside,
crossed some trees,
and sat on the pile of rocks.

He saw loyalty walking by,
and out of curiosity asked her,
what made you visit this site?
what made you to be here?

Loyalty replied
"no matter how i am crumbled or twisted,
my devotion won't ever wither away,
i came here to soothe my mind and soul,
not to let you alone and ever to troll"

Then the trust gave a smile,
mustered up his courage and said
"I am not fragile.
I lost my way in agitation.
I became a bait to misconception.
i was thinking as a broken trust,
where i should have followed Satisfaction."

Do you hear
A teeny bit of uneasiness.

The sun still as ravishing as usual
Stretching out my stubborn hand
Oblivious to the unattainable distance

Sitting on the bus as I wrote
Pulsing to the beat of the on boarding passengers
Thoughts wandered off many a time

Agitation might fit in the verse
Staring at the pigmented liquid interrupted by insensitivity

Perhaps just another routined day
The water is still
Yet, runs deep
Initiating an elusive equation

Relatively Unknown

Do I take a clonazepam
Do I take a seroquel
Do I take the new antipsychotic
Tight skin
Tight skin
Tight skin
If i smoke **** do I long term fertilize my paranoia
Is there a way to live without sedation
Tight skin
Tight skin
Tight skin
Agitation
Irritation
Sensitivity
Anxiety
Paranoia
The collective static of the tension spots

Internal screaming
Waiting for the clonazepam to kick in