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S Smoothie Mar 2014
Its been years

since I've held your eyes to account for my love

----------------------------------------------------------
­
I miss you.

But I don’t live there anymore.

I still jump when I see you


I shiver at the caress of your voice,

I cry hopelessness  as you pass me by unaware

I yearn for those old days when we wanted to share it all

But I don’t live there anymore.

-------------------------------------------------------­---------------------------

A touch on the shoulder and warm reality hugs me,

I turn to his warm brown eyes and feel home;

As yours melt away.
385 · Dec 2015
The Phoenix knows when...
S Smoothie Dec 2015
She came to me in the eyes of a child
Blazing a warning!
shelling out new hopes as if they were endless
She flood my veins with a burning sense of invincibility
Clarity stricken,
the glug of decomposing viscous opaqueness
Melts into warm throbs  
flushed with the fluidity of vinegar in saline truths
Death is a fools comfort,
A nothingness in mind, body and soul.
I caught a light
Seered into renewal
Though the birth of a new day
With new hopes
A new vision
A future so bright
burning with beauty
She has once again baptised my eyes
With a new fight
Written in all the colours of light.
381 · Apr 2014
sound the horn.
S Smoothie Apr 2014
this is you kind of weather,the early morning cool air,birds chiriping,your **** in my mouth
S Smoothie Jan 2017
Hauled over the back end of the bed
spread eagled and faced down,
plunging your **** deep inside
***** deep is when you decided to say I love you,
but you couldnt say it when I said it looking into your eyes
at my birthday dinner and June was there watching.

----------------

i flicked the toast over
buttered side to buttered side
just the way you liked it
it was a small thing
I didn't do anymore
you never said a word,
but you knew not to complain
It was the apartment in Brussels when I surprised you
I noticed the toast
and smell of her *** on your fingers.

-----------

She he pushed her stiletto heel into his **** as he both begged her not to and calling her god. She knew he liked it but it kind of left her feeling disappointed. She was rather hoping she was enough.

------------

******* are funny things
I usually forget all about them
excpt when you walk in the room
they just want to leap out and attach themselves to your mouth
clamouring for the privilege of being first.

--------------


your words are sharp and cruel
the sudsy sink hides the long blade clutched
slowly prying opening up a clamshell
your body is rude, imposing,
poking and prodding.
still I can't help but gasp as fingertips nuzzle into my crotch
anticipation of the violence used to free the tight hollow
but this time is different, somehow wary
gently tugged to the side, thumb caressing lips
Puckered crevices fill as soft nudges burn with warmth
gently deeper,
the handle clutched tighter trying to grasp on to anything solid
The veil now lifted you sink below me leaving me with authority
i sudden shock wet lips on wet lips pulses of pleasure ripple
suddenly Im moving into you begging for more
smooth skin glides up my calf and inner thigh the knife released
to Shepard you in you resist mesmerized that the tables have turned so easily,
Finally with all the confidence of a tyrant you begin unleash yourself only you froze, pulled out and walked away.
For ***** sake! and I swore to my self I would drive that god ****** knife into your heart today. You *******! And just like that. The game just changed.

-------------------

Coffee for one again
usually there's two
so you must be ******
was it when I mentioned that name
yu know, when we were both writhing naked on the floor?
It was a simple comparison.
Why so sensitive?
It only happened once.

----------------

the jam sat on the table next to the tea and scones
eyes over easy we looked at each other as she pottered around looking for the cucumber for her sandwiches, she found it in an odd place
and served them as if she had served the queen. We ate them of course most satisfyingly as she harped on about what you did and didn't like
we both agreed we especially liked our cucumber sandwiches,
all the while with your hand in my thighs.
S Smoothie Feb 2014
I like because I like.
I follow because I really like the potential of your expression.
I don't and wont like to gain a following
I write for me.
I write for you.
You can see it if you want to.
I like and I never unlike because before I like
it has to be worthy.
I never like for likes sake,
I never like to be polite.
I never like it to be done to me
So only like if you would do unto me as I would do unto you;
Follow me as I follow you;
and save emotion and time in not having an action of mine
misconstrued.
Hugss.
379 · Aug 2014
The Lost City
S Smoothie Aug 2014
the air silent with the memory



the images remain



there was once life and hell here



something of description filled the space



children chattering and making noise



always breaking something



neighbours yelling across the way



angy taxi drivers honking their horns



mothers hurrying to the market with their children



not a sound above the wind travels through here now.



no lonely pup begging for food



no children with tear stained faces awaiting charity.



no putrid smells of the unwashed ablusions



no rats crawling through the spaces



nothing.



even the rubble gives no clues to what was here



not one tangible identifyable piece of life or living



if only it would all come back, every stinking bit of it,



but it cant. not even God can fix it.



we lost our way.
Folder: Humanity
379 · Jan 2016
Fall
S Smoothie Jan 2016
I find my self oscillating
between chasms and  crevices in the distance between us
Luck never seems to be on my side
Slippage is a constant
Loose ground
Shaky legs
Crushed ice
Tight chest
breathless
No way out
Love's funny like that
379 · Nov 2016
The right wordss
S Smoothie Nov 2016
Folds of conciousness fall open
Wordss dance in strings
None of them match the beauty
Or elegance of you
I cant get the dance to match the music
And for the most part it lays unwritten
Waiting for the tune of the melody
And the fluidity
To match the resonance of your
Etherial frequency.
378 · Apr 2014
Unecclesiastical Rhapsody
S Smoothie Apr 2014
Folder: God Consciousness
It seems Im lost again.

Im looking through eyes reflected in the mirror

no windows there.



I called and there was no answer.

I cut deals with cheques I couldnt possibly cash.

a desperate act.



the darkness seems to fill up my hollow like smoke.

the white mist of creativity turned haphasard dust floating in swirls of pretty nothingness.

its not evil or sad.



its hovering close by and I can feel it,

and I wonder what it is that i have done to make it flee me again

I know what it is.



hell, I dont even know why or whats going on.

I asked for a way to go there where it was.

is there no wrong healed by my right?



Sorry is a perfunctory word with a perfunctory action.

Its not enough.

it never was.



-----------------------------



its time to admit and move on,

my precious babe I did you wrong,

go peacfully into the light,

I dont deserve to have you near,

its selfish and horrid as it appears.

spread your soul and bring your wings to flight,

i kiss you good bye,

and love you so,

and hope one day we will make it so right

to meet again in a new light.

you are my biggest regret

I must let go.

go in peace my gentle soul,

I will always love you so.





-------------------------





dear love, who ive died a thousand deaths for,

I give you my word,

but my heart I will guard.

I have no understanding of this strange love.

to not want anything but our souls to touch.

I can not see you in my dreams anymore,

to do so drags my soul into darkness,

we have to pay the price of ultimate love.

I can not find the words,

let them be seen in my eyes,

felt across the ways,

I have a love so true oh how they love me I can never count the ways

the truth of proof is too much to bare.

I can not hurt anyone more with my love if it should be divided in two,

the most deserving of my soul,

has the purity of heart.

and your earthly incarnation is not fit for my soul.

the ache in my heart will ever grow as this love prospers

but I owe it to them to show,

that what we have made is real, in truth and wonderful goodness,

what we have made is a blemish.

a soul contract unsactioned

and it can no longer stand alone under the banner of true love.

I send you my warmth and pray that you will find

another love as pure as gentle as mine.

that has seen you grow, and understand that we are not of the physical kind,

and I can offer you nothing now but good will and a friendship to stand till the end of this time,

and space to heal.





-------------------------------





I hope my soul has heard my call,

I miss it so much more than I took for granted.

if you are there, where can I reach you?

I have cut down every branch but yours

yet still you answer me not.

will I have to prove as I have in the past?

let me come home please

I beg you

to the last

tell me where I must come

so that I may reach you

and show you

you are welcome home?



I miss you most of all.
377 · Jul 2014
Mediocre Mornings
S Smoothie Jul 2014
Folder: OBSERVATIONS...
its the morning wake up ritual at is mediocrity

you want to sleep in

I want to run along side the birds

I boil the kettle it hums as you snore

I wish I had your company

you wish you had more time

we dont fit together well

but we're okay today because at least we both woke up in the same place

although we dont ever understand why.
do you think the kids have something to do with it?
S Smoothie Jul 2014
I take roads much longer to travel
in my heart hoping they lead to you.

I find remnants of your heart splatters
whenever I'm not looking for them.

it seems you and I are born of the same dust and
find our wells full of inkstains and heart scrawls

yet, nothing to drink from;
nowhere to float down and settle over each other,
like the coming home seen in true love's stardust trails
written in the heavens


--------------------------------------<@>-----------------------------------------


Why are we so lost?
Why cant we go forward without running back?

Jumping from star to star and falling back down
fading into another's atmosphere

Faultless in our ideas of love
yet unable to find a fold or a crease
that fits us corner to dog-earred corner

Falling stars making wishes that never come true

I Suppose it's the right thing to tear it all up
rather than let the characters of our love notes fade.



--------------------------------------<@>-----------------------------------------



My impossible love,

You are also impossible to leave in any intangible way
Your soul speaks my language
your heart beats my song,
your ink draws mirrored designs on my heart spaces

We  fall on barren landscapes
carried away by the current and swirls of this life

I still hold the promise of the next in my hands
waiting for ashes to ashes and
finally dust resting on dust.
They burn up together...
375 · Jul 2014
like ice on salt
S Smoothie Jul 2014
This cold place reminds me of you.
The icicles hovering precariously overhead. No fire to warm me no arm to protect me.
Just staligmightes of tears rising to your falling fears.
Theres never enough salt.
375 · Dec 2014
Whateverness.
S Smoothie Dec 2014
Oh Im tired of trying not to offend.
speaking diplomactically till the end
well if you arent offending anybody you havent stood up for anything
silence is deafening so are the words you want them to hear.
shout it out to the world
the biggest '*******!' ever heard!

---------

******* terrorists here and ******* terrorists there
whatever. Call yourself a religious man? I see a  devious zelot holding hands unwittingly with the devil.sure did a number on your *****.
whatever.
Call yourself a Cop? I see a sadistic ****** **** I;ve seen more competence and less violence in a shopping mall guard. Power got you tripping up and all over.
whatever.
Call yourself a mother? pimping your baby daughters out strung out on some **** and like its all you got.
whatever.
Call yourself a father? leering at your brothers daughter? invading your sisters son?
whatever
Call yourself a human being walking past all those people you could have helped? sat in your comfortable home and uncomfortable shoes recounting your dramas.
whatever.

Call yourself an angry hurt teenager? grow the **** up! put the knife in the sink and do some ******* dishes, put the gun back where it belongs and go out and play in the sun. take your fantasy ******* for what it is nothing its all  whatever.

**** it up and **** it in. pour yourself out and start giving. giving something whatever just make it something ******* nice for ***** sake

Im standing up for the truth you can do something if you want but whatever.
enough with the happy politically correct *******. enough with the stupid lies. the ***** work that people do to hide behind thier own hidden agendas. trade offs. and all scream innocent and none of us are at all. If you hate me for this poem then youre just as whatever as i am.
S Smoothie Jan 2014
there are no more words

there are not enough reasons

there is no time

there is only life

and it is catching me by the heels and tossing me about

the thing to do is not apparent

so i fumble groping for hope as I stumble and crash into things

maybe I will find something to grab onto if I have the strength to hold on.
S Smoothie Apr 2014
The knife sat embedded in the cheese
the figs sliced open and offering themselves up
you walked out and left me holding the wine
it was good cheese, good wine
I'm still trying figure
exaclty when you got ******.
was it the figs?
*******.
373 · Dec 2014
heart spaces are limited.
S Smoothie Dec 2014
holding on to love unknown
in a world of crashing hopes
and failing dreams

we are two souls
yearning for places in hearts we don't own.
373 · Apr 2014
wait*
S Smoothie Apr 2014
strange tides bring me here to this old place

long chained thoughts still bring me back  into your dark spaces

tiny places in my cold heart still beating with your traces


light feathery touches brush my soul

a soul song calls upon the winds pulling us near wherever

tiny etherial love threads still tangle us together


the wide sea of longing hides my hopes

I lay upon a rock in the calm of the dead sea praying

tiny glimpses of faith hold my love devoutly unswaying


bring yourself home to me my soul love

let death win as we shall when our hearts an souls from sheaths will rise

let us claim what this world will despise, love eternal, our greatest prize.
372 · Aug 2014
Ouch.
S Smoothie Aug 2014
Nothing seems to please me after your metaphorical deserting of me.
it couldn't hurt to say a small truth.
you don't trust them enough to forgive you like I do.
it seems your love is conditional
And mine becoming more so
I have  never valued your silence
you have never had the courage to face my honesty
youd think Id have walked away by now?
it seems I'm addicted to hurt
and that there's really no other option.
is there?
371 · Jun 2014
Kill-switch
S Smoothie Jun 2014
I've died a thousand cruel deaths

at the mercy of your heart



**** me softly,

**** me with thunder

hollow me out

or let me waste away.



**** me with

that forked tounge,

Those piercing eyes,

and lump of ice in your chest.



You take my vanity,

You steal my warmth

and tear my sanity.



Go ahead

**** the rest

what does it matter?



You've proved a thousand times

I am unworthy of your best.



Pain is mandatory

more deaths and reserections

to come.



Yet, hope against hope

I still wish I could find

your ****-switch.
S Smoothie Jan 2014
**** I've got writers block, but -
Oh no! It's gone...
**** I've got writers block, I -
Oh no it's gone...
**** I've got writers block, still -
Oh no it's gone...
**** I've got writers block, manage -
Oh no it's gone...
**** I've got writers block, to -
Oh no it's gone!...
**** I've got writers block, write, write -
Oh no it's gone...
**** I've got writers block, something -
Oh no it's gone...
**** I've got writers block, hypocritically -
Oh **** it's done!
I am hoping you all see the hidden message here... let me know if you find it! cheers smarties!
S Smoothie Nov 2017
What if i told you your demons are a result of constant programming you to want more than you need, more than you deserve?

What if i told you its completely reversable?

That you take over your subconcious conciously. Mindfully and manually work at the art of appreciation. Tell your self what you constantly dont need.

Dont fall for the time trap. It was invented by the rat race to turn us all into rats  Pavlov's dogs on steroids. Silence the bell and make a concious choice using your God-given free will.

Smile at the sun, wink at the moon,warmly blow a kiss to the stars and never look back at the passive way you let those demons control your life.

Pain free, drug free, because you choose to give it no consent. No dominion.

You, one of the great contributions of this incredible world; who was stopped from manifesting all your pitential because you were too busy trying to find a name and a source for your apathy and frustration.  Because thats the way a fool is used as tool of destruction.

YOU have THE  POWER to CHANGE EVERYTHING. Its in YOUR HANDS. Call in the beauty and grace of the universe as I AM
It is assured.

What if you BELIEVED me?
Author's Notes/Comments:
I dare you to think better on purpose  call out the **** you dont need and cast it off  whats stopping you from trying? What ever it is conmand it to leace and replace it with patience kindness and appreciation. Fear is for the oppressed.
366 · Jul 2014
in the name of love
S Smoothie Jul 2014
Would you take the fall for me a thousand times and a thousand times again? 
would you cut through the endless lies to save me? 
Would you play mascarades and paint me endless excuses for the things i dont want to face?  
Would you swallow your pride and keep going into the lions den to feed them so they wont devour me?  
Would you **** for me or spiritually die for me? 
Would you kiss the face of an enemy because it is someone i love? I have done all these things expected of love yet you not one. When are you going to save me from all this?
must i pay the ultimate price?  
In the name of love please? Before its too late!
Will get the format done later this phone just cant handle it. What would you do for love? I dont think this poem is finished yet. I will be back to do this soon!
S Smoothie Jan 2015
**** love. Its a fool's disease with no cure conpulsively offering up pieces, soon fragments then molicules of a heart to be vaporised at will; resigned to watch yourself dissapearing a little more each day hoping to manifest the value of it in a heart you dont own or truly undrstand all the while choosing this pain over and over again.  Only the loved wins. The lover always pays.
S Smoothie May 2018
she stood atop the high cliff
Scanning the oceans depths to the horizon
Soft amber glows lit her strong fine features
She had that far away look in her treacle eyes
he knew she was not present
she had gone to be with the spirit of her love
how his own spirit ached to chase after it,
to hold her steady so she would not lose sight of the shore
he almost drifted away with her
but sensed the need for her privacy
he did not want to find what she hoped she might find
he felt it would truly destroy him
he restrained himself from touching her
instead he looked out to he setting sun over her shoulder
letting the strands of lit golden hair flicker on to his cheek
as he blessed and thanked creation
for bestowing on him such simple glory
a wilderness of gratitude for each faint stroke
his whole being came alive
a grand mercy in a pinprick of revelation
divinely connected
as if her body knew that a love lost
was held steady across the arcs of time by another love
as she stood there motionless,
reverent Silence between them
the queen of his faith had restored in him,
what he had long hoped restore in her
He thought recklessly
‘We held time there,
locked in an expedition,
each of our own
words never spoke of any greater higher church,
than that of love
as our haloes mingled,
the sun left enraged with jealousy
slipping into the darkness
leaving the colours of our mismatched hearts to bleed’.
361 · Jun 2016
On my page
S Smoothie Jun 2016
Folds of conciousness fall open
Wordss dance in strings
None of them match the beauty
Or elegance of you
I can't get the dance to match the music
And for the most part,
it lays unwritten
Waiting for the tune for the melody
and the fluidity
To match your frequency.
361 · Dec 2018
A tree for the occasion
S Smoothie Dec 2018
The ground opened up and swalloed it whole
every bit of salvation poured out for every soul
and it was a day like the 25th that brought the hope
twas a tree that claimed a life and brought life
For you and me
hung on it beads of love
poured with decorations of red
each pattern a new joy
all because of the little boy
who trimmed the first tree
who colored the world happy
for you and me
the stars shone brighter
the rainbows stretched wider
and the joy of little children became the norm
for everywhere the story was told
suffer unto me little children
and I will bring you back glad tidings and joy
and a merriness for this day
and blessings always
for you and me
the best in all Of Christendom
even on the most silent night
the star of wonder still shines bright
for you and me

hugss xo
360 · May 2014
where when was.
S Smoothie May 2014
I drive the city streets at night

praying for a glimpse of you

playing the tapes burned in my mind

anything just to hear your voice

i miss talking to you in that free and easy way we do.

i mis that deep throaty laugh

that tenderness in your eyes

the way you think Im amazing

and the tender nervous way you touched me ever so lightly

a whole world in your touch, the univeral truth in your eyes

a hunter closing in and a deer in headlights by the close

my mind like my car drives in circles

I crave our time

anything to hear your voice

to feel your energy mingle with mine

God I miss you

I just want to feel alive
360 · Feb 2016
Starts in Stutters...
S Smoothie Feb 2016
I've hurt you and I recognise it
As deep as the torn pieces of aorta I've choked on
How proud you stand defiant in your love of me
How you stich the pieces of my guilt into velvet pillows to lay my head upon
Soothing in your denial of fact
Forgiveness in your heart, pain your eyes
Doubt has settled there
The beat ticks time,
the colours of love bleed
My heart swells,  as yours drains
The words never come no matter how I start,
I wish I'd known
How much
Before i even let it start
Like the sorry caught on my lips
Despite the laboured floundering of my tongue
I cannot bring my self to say
The words I should have remembered
The day I fell from your heart
into your pillows
Never asking how or why
Death is more certain
Than the code written in your eyes
No clues to decipher
Only the way I see your pain
360 · Jul 2017
You Can
S Smoothie Jul 2017
Kiss my *** i hope to fly
My speck aint nuthin to that plank in your eye
Hold me down i just get higher
Dead weight or spare tyre
You dont write my story
Youre just the obstacle that keeps em tuned in to my glory
The halo on my head is real
I earned that ****
i traded in my Achilles heel
Your words bounce off
Like water beads off a duck
Because i made my own luck
Lifted with the light of life
Left my fate to the skies above
Justified
I take my place
love you more as you love me less
In the good Lord my sins are confessed
I still make mistakes and yeah ive got the tact of a crate
God loves me anyway and that's just great
like i said truth is king
i do what i do in honour of Him
And for that glory my heart will sing
most important is one thing
i know you can
And those who dont can kiss your ***
I hope you fly
Where your dreams are way up High.
You can.
S Smoothie Dec 2013
oh the dreams Ive had,

some so close to reality it took my breath away!



but I had too much desire to fight them

and not enough time to stoke them



I pushed everything that I am into everyone else

hoping that one day I would turn around

and find my dreams there.



but still deep inside

I did not believe I deserved happiness



You told me I was wrong



day after day you told me to hold on

you said you would prove it

day after day you dragged me toward happiness



and now,

I finally believe you.



<3
354 · Dec 2017
Fool's Gold
S Smoothie Dec 2017
Sifting through the foul garbage of my mind,
Icaught a glimpse of shimmering light,
I dug deeper and found more still,
I scavenged and I raked
A desperate mood suddenly hung over me
I start clawing like madness
The more I scraped the deeper it got buried
The deeper I searched,
The more I was emerged in rank
Swallowed up once again by that glimmer of hope
That was once aptly named You.

I'm still digging myself out...
When will I learn?
353 · Jun 2017
Far away
S Smoothie Jun 2017
Far away eyes cast their gaze upon ever rearranging light pins
Fragile connections vibrate amongst a rare and delicate frequency
The atmosphere lightens and sprawls across a mindscape
and darkens just as quickly when the mood beckons
Hanging in the in the air of possibilities I miss your company
Your wise to my closed eyes
My warm heart to your raging calm
My serendipitous words across your concise beauty
I kiss you hello on the wind aiming for your right cheek
The side you let me ride shotgun
But as always
I visit the spaces you leave behind
Not sure if you even care about glancing at the pinholes of patterns I leave behind
I cry a crystallized tear
and put it in a box labeled dearest b.
Hugss always.
Miss you buddy
352 · Aug 2014
Tell me where it hurts?
S Smoothie Aug 2014
Your indifference
at my disappointment of you
tells me of the imbalance.
Cool eyes and daggers in my heart
claws in my back
split loyalties tear me apart
and still I believe it does the same to you.
352 · Mar 2018
Pain of The Promise
S Smoothie Mar 2018
The blood drips linger
afraid to leave the bastion of grace
that sustained them
fibres stretched and pulled
to the brink of profanity
sweat refused
clinging until raised as vapors to the sky
a piercing shriek of a quartz tip entered
somehow sliently
parting flesh from flesh
meat from bone and bitter liquid poured forth
searing a river of flesh devouring agony
a slight reprieve offered nothing but
the biting cold of sullied mead
poured mercilessly upon the lips of truth
to add irrevent pain upon excruciating reverence
the clouds gathered
the ground swelled up and shook
the cracks of the whip deafened
by the thunderous
proclamation
thus it was done
and hope sat in stunned silence
the endless wait began
as the blood drips lingered afraid to touch the sand
352 · Dec 2015
Memories past midnight
S Smoothie Dec 2015
The nights fervour flashes  through my mind
A bolt of excitement rushes though my chest
Hot flushes sweet aches of restlessness
memories of you
your smell fills my senses
Long sensuous strokes
Desperate jerks of madness
wanton abandon
Deep pleasures of darkness and light
Warm colours,
Cool shades
landscapes and escapades
Shallow breaths
And stunning gasps
You turned me inside out
And back again
But now so hollow
The space you were lain
Your warmth now faded,
Only memories remain
351 · Aug 2017
First last loser
S Smoothie Aug 2017
Picked up the shreds of my dignity
and pulled myself together one last time.
I scraped up the last slivers of hope and pinned them all on you.
Hoplessly Iost, I belived in you.
Only I traded them all in for this last betrayal.
Now there's nothing left
but my mind to drive me even deeper into crazy.
What's worse is,
there was no 'sorry' to ***** up my wounded pride.
Only a desolate lanscape where answers should have been.
I strain to squeeze out the slightest hope.
Welcome to my devastation
its all I have left.
As you aptly said:
"If you're not first, you're last! "
Enjoy the show...
350 · Apr 2019
Wish
S Smoothie Apr 2019
The flicker of last nights midnight memory rushed through my head
the heart gave an obligatory thump while it tried to double summersault
it was the slightest touch bare skin on bare skin but I felt it so deep
magnatised by the heat in your stare, hips arching to its target
lips parted hanging in the air sending out invitations without care
it was a moment locked in eternity and you bent your head everso slightly
I swore swore you leaned in just before your phone rang
and love had brought you back to your senses and left me with
sweet nothings and a ache gouged deep across my pelvis
that tore me unexpectedly all the way through my heart

because you texted to say hey.
350 · Oct 2014
The Uncomfortable Silence
S Smoothie Oct 2014
Folder: God Consciousness
I dont feel very romantic,

I dont want to paint the skies in pastel colours

or drape them in velvet studded glitter.

my pen has run dry,

the well of emotions draws nothing but cold

this mind wont let the heart glow

its too cluttered with pain and fears

the worlds ills have laid themselves on my shoulders

As much as I kneel

there is a nagging

I know I must do something.

I sit still waiting for a divine inspiration

or is it fear?
349 · Dec 2014
Fold lines
S Smoothie Dec 2014
-------------v--------------

unfolded in halves and halves again
heart scrawls written in passionate days
all those years ago, and still...

----------------------

short nothings that meant everything
each letter stroke a symbol of passion
layered with unsaid emotions
each note a plane of love defying existence
and yet here they are.

-----------------------

folded in halves and halves again

-----------------------

I put them back under the draw
I didn't have the heart to burn them
like I promised.
sorry x

------------------------
S Smoothie Apr 2019
You’re a snake waiting in the grass to strike
fangs dripping with toxic anticipation
your false concern does not deceive me
you are exposed
your hightsned sense ominous
I watch your ears ***** as I enter the room
i anticipate your strike
again and again you will fall short of your target
underestimation is my calling card
the time has come to twist your neck into the mirror
before I rip it off
I am welded in truth, in Christendom
take your beedy eyes and small puppet mind out of the hive;
and what have you got?
The scales on your eyes
are firmly planted in
its time to scrape up all the grace
hold my head high

im giving your **** right back

return to sender is the email
and ******* is the reply.
Author's Notes/Comments:
so ****** you don’t deserve capitals
348 · Mar 2018
Secrets at Midnight
S Smoothie Mar 2018
She waits for me at midnight
the stars aligned n such a way
as to reveal her sudden beauty
I trace the lines between the sparkles
as if they, like bubbles, would perhaps burst
spouting an array of lights!
alas they twinkle less brightly
she has not yet unveiled.
I sense her close
the air thickened
fuller with anticipation
I have no choice but to offer myself patience
And suddenly the gloriousness of her is revealed
and I am whole in her radiance
filled and alive
luminous, I dance a halo
like I’ve never danced before
the patterns anew
and the footsteps in the sand
spell hope
aligned in the order of a prayer
without even the thought of one
just the joy that hung upon the air.
S Smoothie Jan 2017
captured in your eyes
a searing instant
a thousand millennia and more
converging in that one acceptance
No where to go
acknowledgment of who we are
the sound that crackles through the silence,
surging through our skins
dancing promises of ages
patience, patience wait
love is waiting
in the universe of your eyes
unfailing warmth
deeper colors of pain and joy than ever felt
home in a glance
love in the flicker of eternity
woven though the aether of our souls
the fabric of love,
loose woven quintessence
soul songs meet their harmonies
by an unseen moon
on the corner of forever and never Stream
vivid consciousness resigned to knowing the unknowable
there is no escape
captured in your eyes
there is only time that refuses to go
as it never passes
without the cruelty of spending aeons hostage
In a searing instant
never leaving the constraints of now.
346 · Oct 2017
Touched
S Smoothie Oct 2017
Delicate tips hover over taut skin
Shudders then Crawling
Waves of static dance
Electric
Tension lapses without breaking
only to build up tighter
Eyes welded shut
Darkness envelops
But time lingers
Longer than imposed eternity
and yet it ends in fading
Only to crackle back to life again
Delicate fingers suspended...
345 · Aug 2014
the worst part
S Smoothie Aug 2014
You know i deserve it,
I needed you to show me something more
Something to show me its all worth it.
But, you still defer to your usual devices
It was such a small thing,
Far too big for you though.
It tells me a universe of what i dont want to know.
Too weak to face the truth.
My happiness is not worth thier inconvenience.
You know every sickening detail;
And still.
343 · Mar 2018
Best Laid Pains
S Smoothie Mar 2018
The biting cold extemporaneously
leaps a yearning for warmth from my bitter heart
I’m too proud to beg
too conventional to seek
too pragmatic to pray
too downtrodden to hope
idealism is a fool’s game
for the fool-hardy
The only bravery that extends
is borne of immovable stubbornness
to see it other than exactly as it is
but I have not enough lenses
too human and given to folly
and this,  my undoing
a dire need
to be right
in a world that perceives
a different wrong
some sign
of “I told you so…”
and you, wrapped back up in my arms;
a blanket of warmth.
S Smoothie Apr 2014
so the sheets were warm,

you didn't give a ****.

you unwrapped me from the layers roughly without due care

and unsheathed,you grabbed and pulled the last modest garment

that reliquished so easily its hold.

and I know whats coming

strong arms pull me closer

forceful hips manouver

light lips part

warm breath escapes

your low voice whispers

have i told you lately how lovely you are?

oh yes you have but i say nothing,

you continue taking my cue,

I wish I didnt have to work today,

hands gliding down my sides,

face nuzzled gently against firming soft peaks

rough thumbs gently caress the hollows of hips

rising to greet pleasure

a soft kiss on the glistening silk threads

a glance at your watch,

a gingered withdrawal as you announce theres no time,

and the rest is

assured ****** untasted.
S Smoothie Jun 2014
Oh, I had just caught a hint of you in the remnants of my broken memory thumped into me by the shape of your sign on the side of a parked car as I honed my body back to its natural and strong shape. the ritual you started.it  all came flooding back into me by the passing of the breeze over the cliffs above the place you said the words. Though I vowed to slice you away from everything, I knew our eyes locking will always be inevitable. This wasnt it. But it all came flooding back. That hunger, the need, the desire, the look of love and higher places you saw through my eyes. And how we wanted to go there. do you remember that time? it was so close only we were years too late. and Like a fool i began running. running to or from, I wasnt sure but i left and came back purely on a hope, a winged prayer only to send me back to hell and I wasnt afraid to go there. it was your sign, but it wasnt you. it was all i needed to waken my desperate wish to connect with you. Just to stay in the same place and breathe the same air. to find peace in your energy there. I was opened up like never before and forgiveness rang so loud in my ears, it was the one moment where it all could have come undone in me and be the one thing we craved; and you werent even there.
338 · Jan 2018
Perfectly Broken
S Smoothie Jan 2018
...
Head cupped gently in hands,
rested on her scraped knees.
Gently rocking away
the latest break
in the fabric of her equilibrium
...
Three deep breaths,
a final tear travels the curves of her face
Slipping into the crevices of her lips
A taste of the salt that sustains and drives her
...
Three deep breaths,
a pause and the arch of her neck
drags her head skywards
the blurry clouds and foggy mememories
blend into resolve
...
Three deep breaths,
Arms release shoulders drop,
its time.
...
Three deep breaths,
she slides up the wall
her diamond eyes focused
on a point of light
...
Three deep breaths,
She thrusts herself off
the comforting wall
...
Fists like anchors,
she pulls up the life from the ground
...
One deep breath,
she screams in the name of her reserection
...
Broken in all the right places,
off she walks like a queen
Loving her pain...
337 · Apr 2014
conciously spinning
S Smoothie Apr 2014
Consciously spinning
through my spaces
Looping in and out of you
where is logic?
Where is reason?
Inside this vault where
Secrets of you lie,
I find my reason for being
And my hope for death.
Two orbiting bodies Are we
eclipsed by the moon and sun,
never free but always on the run.
Set on a collision course of fate
Only we missed it by that much!
335 · Jun 2014
Sylkiu - My time had come.
S Smoothie Jun 2014
13 - My life was a diamond shining brightly in the sun
7- Till you came with your shadows
13 - I felt the cool shade but it was an ominous one
7-  Like rope hung over gallows
13- Took the shine in my eyes away and never looked back
7- all that's left is my sorrows.
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