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Love of different aspects
Amusing yet intriguing
Like a man so mysterious
Who waken up my being curious.

Don't want to seem assuming
And never be intruding
But this is getting confusing
Don't know what I'm feeling.

You made my day so inspiring
Caught myself always smiling
The thought of you is drowning
That keeps my heart from falling.

Eager to get through the day
Wondering what tomorrow may bring
Hoping for something real
For the both of us to feel.

Oh, apple of my eye
Never want you to say goodbye
If that moment will come by
Surely my heart will die...
As the rope of anger reached it's end
Rage of anger began to burst
Like a volcano erupting so suddenly
Feeling nothing but hate for the enemy.

Trying hard to control the wrath
Wanting no one to get hurt
But as the rage continue to burst
Found himself bleeding instead.

Then deeply he  breathes
To gather his wits
To unveil the anger that blanketed his heart
To retrieve that part of him that once so calm.

And as the anger dispersed
A thought had been realized
Even a creature so angelic
Can't hide the beast inside...

                                                     ­                             Krystal Marcelo
                                                        ­                                 *01/18/16
Forging my heart into steel
Yet it's bleeding inside still*.


Krystal Marcelo
01/29/16
~*~
Leaving home for the quest of finding me
Missing home like it's killing me*.


Krystal Marcelo
01/25/16
Same exact date but of different pace
Now reminiscing what happened in that place
That chilly night as we race
Through the situation of life and death.

I still clearly remember
As I was murmuring prayers
Which I poorly and randomly constructed
Even God can't quite understand clearly.

In the midst of the night, we rushed to the hospital
Advised that she must be confined
So my father left me behind
To tend her and to keep an eye.

She told me to take some rest but I disagree
Under her sweet voice I fell asleep unnoticeably
Wishing I never did
'cause that cost me a lifetime of guilt.

Waken up to see her in hysterical
Of the squeezing in her heart that could be fatal
Enough to make me frantic
Trying to think of the essentials.

As I watched her struggling for her breath
I tried to held back the tears that can't help but stream
Not wanting her to see me losing
Hope for her so she'll keep on fighting.

Hoping for a miracle as they recucitate her
I knew  it there but still in denial
And at the crack of the dawn
I lost her...without even saying "Goodbye."

That is one of those times
When you want to gather all those spared hours
And add every single second of it to that very moment
So you could change the course of fate but couldn't.

The feeling of  helplessness
Like a bird without its wings
Can't think of anything
But weep about everything.

Thoughts running in my mind
As unstoppable as the river flow
Tears running down my face
Streaming like the waterfalls.

The pain was unbearable
Especially when you got no one to lean on
Because the one you can always count on
Is the one you're  bleeding for.

It's been three years
But why do I feel devastated after all this time?
Then someone answered me,
" 'cause the memories of the past never go away.
They are with us till the end of our time
."

This may be a memory of the past now
But unlike any other, it will never be forgotten
A past that's always a part of my present
And will always play a big role in my future...

Krystal Marcelo
*01/22/16
I dedicate this poem to my one and only Mom.
I love you and I miss you so much!
</3
An early morning in January
Heart as cold as the monsoon air
Sun rays beaming through the window
Not enough to make the place warm again.

Lying still,
Staring at the ceiling
Overthinking things
Trying to reminisce the beginning.

An acquaintance so sudden
Trust that was easily obtained
A connection that can't be denied
The feeling that lifted me up to heaven.

For years enclosed in a shell
Shell of fear of being hurt
Not wanting this fragile heart
To shatter in pieces you can impossibly count.

As another break up story goes
The more I get afraid to take a chance
Told that I should not be
'cause "Love is beautiful."

Convinced to believe it
Trying to be optimistic about it
But happiness can't stand alone
Without going through pain.

It started with a doubt
A doubt that leads to insecurity
Which can mess up everything
That can ruin a relationship.

It took a while to gain the guts
To seek for the unwanted truth
To unravel answers
For the questions that's lingering in my mind.

It's overwhelming to know
That you have his attention
But the real question,
Are you the only one who has his affection?

And the next thing you'll know
You're burning of insecurity
Drowning in jealousy
It's because of your curiousity.

The pain is excruciating
Tearing everything that's left
Thrusting you deeper in that hole,
Hole of fear, regret and loneliness.

How can he be so dear to you
When he's so fond of anyone else?
Or is it you misconcluding his kindness
Into something more than friendship?

Now there's just two options left
Hold on or let go...


Krystal Marcelo
*01/22/16
some days I look at my wrists and see the almost invisible scars that hardly show but are still there.
it's funny how something that is only triggered within a moment will stick with you for the rest of your life.
it's like a mark telling you, look what you've overcome.
but at the same time
it almost looks inviting.
hey! one more scratch won't hurt..
right?

but what is it that makes me hurt so much that I need to see and feel the pain in some other place than in my head and my heart?

why am I still broken?
is it him? is it them? is it the rumors and the reputation? is it the broken love and the broken heart? is it the longing for home?
I'm broken
and I don't know why.

I want to blame it on him but I'm the only one to blame.
it's all on me
me.
me.

I wonder if people can see my scars.
do they notice them when my arms get red and they stand out like white stripes?
what do they think?
I hope that they care
but who am I to think that they care?

does this stigma define me?
what defines me?
should these lines really be considered stigmatic?

right now it's me against the world
and whenever I look at those scars
that's why I feel a trigger

because when it's you against the world, you feel alone, ashamed, misunderstood, sad
sad.
sad.
wishing you could see how valuable i could be
how much i care
how i stop and stare
whenever i see you
and you see right through me
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