An early morning in January
Heart as cold as the monsoon air
Sun rays beaming through the window
Not enough to make the place warm again.

Lying still,
Staring at the ceiling
Overthinking things
Trying to reminisce the beginning.

An acquaintance so sudden
Trust that was easily obtained
A connection that can't be denied
The feeling that lifted me up to heaven.

For years enclosed in a shell
Shell of fear of being hurt
Not wanting this fragile heart
To shatter in pieces you can impossibly count.

As another break up story goes
The more I get afraid to take a chance
Told that I should not be
'cause "Love is beautiful."

Convinced to believe it
Trying to be optimistic about it
But happiness can't stand alone
Without going through pain.

It started with a doubt
A doubt that leads to insecurity
Which can mess up everything
That can ruin a relationship.

It took a while to gain the guts
To seek for the unwanted truth
To unravel answers
For the questions that's lingering in my mind.

It's overwhelming to know
That you have his attention
But the real question,
Are you the only one who has his affection?

And the next thing you'll know
You're burning of insecurity
Drowning in jealousy
It's because of your curiousity.

The pain is excruciating
Tearing everything that's left
Thrusting you deeper in that hole,
Hole of fear, regret and loneliness.

How can he be so dear to you
When he's so fond of anyone else?
Or is it you misconcluding his kindness
Into something more than friendship?

Now there's just two options left
Hold on or let go...


Krystal Marcelo
*01/22/16