sweet sugar

sweet sugar Jul 2018

Dedaunan

kulihat warna dedaunan begitu indah melayang di udara
begitu kuat namun rapuh hingga terbang terbawa angin
begitu rindang namun sekejap hilang ditelan pergantian bumi

apakah benar yang kulihat adalah dedaunan?
ataukah hanya hatiku menipu sang mata yang telah lama merindukannya

biar

biarlah tetap aku abadikan indah yang kulihat malam itu
tersimpan jelas dalam hati dan mataku

apapun itu
dedaunan tetaplah dedaunan
akan selalu indah walau sudah jauh pergi bersama angin

sweet sugar Oct 2017

Paint my own story

These colors I see are the brightest
The wall in front of me is the tallest
True feeling is the purest
Unknown future will be the darkest

Yet here I stand tall beyond it all
Ready to embrace every fall

The only thing that I will carry
Is this blinding light within me

I won't be lonely
I'll paint my own story

sweet sugar Oct 2017

Hello again, my old soul

Hello again, my old soul
I thought you were long gone
Left me exposed and naked here alone
But I guess here we go again
Tomorrow might not be the same

Hello again, my old friend
I did not think I would ever see you
I've been walking in the dark for a while
Something must have gotten into me to willing to run these miles

Hello again, my old blood
You were indeed already home
Smiling at our reflection
Laughing at my action
Said this sweet painting is just an illusion

Hello again, my old flesh
You said I was wrong
Holding on too strong
Jumping in too fast
Lust will not last

#hello #again #lust #home #heart

sweet sugar Sep 2017

Game of Hearts

Then you gazes into my eyes for a little while just to look away
Not that you care
No
Never in a million years
You were only curious to know what's there?
What's written in my face?
Would I care?

You keep talking about her
As if I'm not even there
But I can clearly hear you, I swear
I stop everything and try to catch some air
Hoping I could go elsewhere

Then I get a thousand feelings all at once
But never quite sure how to feel
Unclear about the rules and the steps still
You tease me to reveal what is real

So here we are
As much as we'd like to go far
Away from our wicked game of hearts
It is us we gravitate towards

But there's no us
There can't never be us
We're just too many worlds apart

The question remains in the rain
Your mind still wondering all the same
What do I want?
What am I looking for?
Oh darling trust me
I would be happy to know the answer too

#games #heats #collide #fake #truth #love #mind

sweet sugar Aug 2017

Voices Inside

Maybe somehow you always knew how you feel
It's a lie to say you can't hear the voices inside your soul
It screams harder than a thundering rain
It stays all night and day to remind you of the pain

You tried to run but you couldn't
To escape the voices so you feel nothing

And for a moment you thought they could be right
That there's a force that you can't control
A bright light you are willing to be drawn into
A feeling you won't be able to explain or understand because it is meant to be so
That it is just you getting it all wrong

But still
Every time you choose you loose
Every leap taken leads nowhere
A grip so strong you could scarcely see
Crushing your soul into tiny pieces

Now you can see

The pain is still there

The anger is still there

The voices are still there

Accept and let go
Let them be
Let them linger

#selfbattle #voice #heart #woman #love #pain #beauty #life #anger

sweet sugar Aug 2017

My heart is yours it's forever yours

I have told you one day I would understand, haven't I ?
I would be singing the love I feel inside
I would be dancing with the one true heart
I would be wandering along the burning road
And if this is finally the time then be it
My heart is yours it's forever yours

If only I knew I would be falling
I wouldn't have told you to run and seek for the better rainbow
I would've asked you to stay and clean my mind
To help me know what's real and what is not
So hold my hand and let me see the truth
My heart is yours it's forever yours

Now let me get closer
Let me come to you
Choose the life you once showed me
Give your heart what it deserves and tell you my sorry
And if that means I have to cry then I will
My heart is yours it's forever yours

I give you mine now I want yours
Here by my side forevermore
Stay where you are and pull me closer
whisper in my ear tell me what I want to hear

My heart is yours it's forever yours

--
APN

#love #life #heart #relationship #wondering #unrequited #unrequitedlove #regret #sorry

sweet sugar Jul 2017

Grey Sky

Surrounded by fears I can do so little
Puzzling my heart to finish the riddle
I can't tell if this is worth the tears
For tonight we only dare to dream

There's always a great grey sky I know
Haunting me where ever I go
Covering the stars for my eyes to see
Hiding the sun from the darkness within me

Now the force is so strong I can feel it drags me
Towards the light far away from the grey sky
And the wind starts to shift it's beyond me
Towards the night far away from the grey sky

Maybe I just dont know what it means
To give my arms and take something
To open my eyes and see everything
And to say yes to absolutely nothing

But what is good in keeping the world turns ?
If at the end, all you do is watch it burns
What's the point in holding on ?
When one could leave and then just gone

--
APN

#love #hesitate #cynical #story #marriage #rain #sky #selfbattle #life #trust