I still know just how wicked depression can be to people
I still know just how great regrets can be here on the earth.
I understand just how great Hopelessness can be too.
I still know just how bad sorrow and pain can be too.
But even through all of these things I still stand firm.
Even though I might have my struggles here on the earth.
I still know that you are still in control of everything here.
I still know even though all of this nasty things here.
That you still Love me, that I am still Blessed by you.
I still know that you are my strength and Shield Lord Jesus.
I still know that your Joy within in me , shall get me through.
Because my situation does not dictate what you can do with me.

We were strangers among the stampeding crowd,
But fate has played us along;
As our heartbeat synchronizes out loud,
Singing the story of a broken song.

Our sun shines in the East,
but never dwindle on the West-
this strange feeling of bliss,
drifting in the chamber of my chest.

Daffodils dance in the scorching daylight,
As the breeze blows gently-
Oblivious to the inevitable flight,
Of an encumbering drizzly night.

Aurora borealis perforates the lone darkness,
Swirling in the starless sky of the North-
The way you eliminated my sadness,
And brings me comfort and madness.

The river cascading in an endless stream,
Splashing a cold brackish water-
These tears of misery and grim,
I will forever endure in my dream.

The moon is high as the tower,
The night as silent as the elm street-
Misery has once again devour,
the little joy turns bittersweet and sour.

I love and love and love unconditionally,
But the pain is searing unbearably;
I looked at the stars and heaven,
And realized we were strangers again.

refined beauty turned wild,
like poetry, but too rough around the edges.
eyes like gemstones,
but not pearl,
or ruby,
or emerald,
but dark onyx,
precious only to those seeking the rare,
not the valuable.
but when the surface cracked
where golden sunlight should've shined through,
i found my fists full of broken pottery
instead of your hands.
and when the paint was scraped away,
i realized that you were just a boy
who liked watching sunsets,
not a masterpiece.

Dread crawls up my spine,
originating at
the small of my back
and leaving
penetrating
residue
on each
vertebra
as it climbs.
It sneaks
into my heart
when I'm
not looking
and POUNCES-
its incisors
clamp down
and its
venom
ejects
into my chest;
paralysis begins there and races outwards right into my limbs and brain until I can't think or move as the hallucinogens take over my mind's eye and play me a reel that boils my stomach.
Loss and
loneliness and
heartbreak
flash before my
eyes in a
sickening torrent.
I feel a
W  A  L  L
of irresistible
time behind my
back,
pushing me,
heels digging in
and pleading "no, no"
the whole way,
slowly, but inevitably
towards the end of everything I've ever known,
and everyone that
I've so
recently
grown to truly,
dearly love
as my friends.

So many around me
are counting down
to that day,
bound to the
same force as I,
but feeling it
instead
as a leash
that will only let
them go
inch
          by
                inch,
                      ­   day
                                 by
                                       day.

For them, a prison break;
for me, a life sentence
of aching for
the people
I've only just
claimed as mine;
among them,
the boy I've held on to,
just starting to become a man,
whom I love
with all my
bruised
and scarred heart.

I don't want to leave.
                                     .
                                      .
                       ­                .