What is home?
but a safe haven for the heart
comfortable
at peace
a breeze after the summer sun went to sleep
a feeling I had forgotten for years
regrown from my own strength

Home I thought

Was in me all along.

He was always warm
Like his coffee colored skin
His smiled hugged you
Brought you into submission
Until your bones wrapped under his
I'd play with the outlines of his anatomy
The way his muscles protruded
And relaxed when my fingers traced his
His laugh echoed like violins
Symphonies playing wildly in my ears
And when I'd undress
He'd always stare
Singing how he won a master piece
That was only his
And no one else's to share
The summer heat burned us
Yet only the summer knew
The conversations that filled that room
He held a scar on his chest
I'd kiss it everyday to remind him how beautiful pain is.
The way his hair curled
And felt like silk when I'd run through it
The way I'd look down and kiss him
The world stopped
But so did the day he left
And like a VCR
I hit replay
A memory so vivid
Yet fading each and everyday

In distance
He caressed her face
Sang her lullabies
That rocked her to sleep
he smiled so brightly
you would’ve thought
it was her all this time
soon
he would come home
disguising his love for her
as his hatred for me

I am comfortable
I lay next to him and sense pleasure
without even touching him
I feel my lips curl into a smile
A feeling I thought I lost sight of
He views my naked body like a work of art
and enjoys the nicks and marks
the flaws
He places his warm hands on my inner thigh
my body rises
he creates a map with his kisses
leading to his favorite spot
he calls me queen
until I blossom
an explosion of color
my cheeks grow red and hot
he looks up, from below
slyly smiles
he makes his way up
feeling my anatomy
he reaches my lips
marking his territory
we sleep

She is beautiful
Her mind elegantly made
The universe unfolds
With words
Leaving her lips
Like sweet liquor
I wish to taste
A devils move
A taboo view
I care nothing for
A lust
A feeling
Hidden behind doors
Left locked and untouched
Her holding the key
At her fingertips
Of which
I wished grazed upon me
Like piano keys
Yearning
We keep silent
As to not cause attention
Although we seek attention within our eyes
Across crowded rooms
Simply never to collide
A forbidden fruit
I will never get to taste
Yet she never leaves my mind

I recall and rewind to the exact moment we stumbled into each other
his smile so luring and bright
while my face glowed intensely
the most deepest shade of red
my heart tangoed in my chest
begging to unite with the unknown of his
my pulse raced
my frown quickly expelled
exposing my vulnerability
and he knew
he relished in my fascination in him
playing maps around my waist
naming me beautiful names
the way only queens were summoned
he spoke intelligently
forcing me to fall under his spells
but never did he wish to capture my soul
or discover the depths of my mind
I was his muse
his playing piece in a game of chess
and he adored every second
until
I made a move
giving me this look of great disdain
he miserably replied
“I just don’t like you back."

Be still
Understand that you are filled with sensations that your body holds repressed
vibrations
Vibrations from glances
The touch of past lovers
Hugs from child hood friends
Even the hand of someone you can't quite name
You are a book held with stories
Conversations kept secret
Emotions from a deafening silence
Watching all you adore
Burn passionately in the wind
The meeting of another's soul
Welcoming yours for the first time in open arms
Smiling violently against all that is bad
You are loved
Even in the depths of the darkest times
Even then
You have a story so rich
You mustn't let it end now
You have places to paint
Words to play like a trumpet blaring towards the sky
Humans to share moments with
Skylines to stare in awe at
Experiences that keep your heart racing
A building ledge to sit on while you view the buzzing streets below you
You have insignificant days to live to remember why you are alive
Characters both antagonists and protagonists to build pathways with
and part like rivers to oceans
You are life
And you have a story to continue writing
Despite all the wars in your mind telling you to end it now
Because we each are novelists in our own right.
And I need you to write.
And never ever stop.
You have won battles
Do not let your victory dance get swept under the rug
Use it as gas to ignite the flame
Lighting your way
Allowing you to recognize
You were never alone all this time

He created the most perfect hell
burning everything I loved to the ground
yet blaming me for ashes that blew wildly into his mouth