Have you ever missed someone so much that your arms feel numb without them there to be held in them? So much that you can see their absence pulsing round your body? So much that you'd give anything to be back in their arms, kissing lazily as the sun makes stars out of the dust particles floating around the air? So much that you've started believing that maybe single beds weren't made for just one person? So much that you're starting to think maybe phantom limb syndrome is the only way you'll be able to feel their touch again? So much that you have to pull over on the side of the road because them not being there is causing a sickness inside of you? So much that missing them is the only feeling inside of your body and so much that it's infecting your chest with a sadness that never feels like it's going to go away?

I miss you more than all of these combined.

it is hard to love someone
while you're grieving
the loss of the person they used to be.

my brother hasn't spoken in weeks.
a headstone reads,
here lies the brother you once had,
and the flowers I placed there are barely living.
I've spent all of my time digging him out of one grave,
only to discover there's an entire cemetery left to unbury.

my mother hasn't smiled in days,
and exhaustion has become
the guest that has overstayed its welcome.
misery usually loves company,
but I am anxious for it leave.

I am homesick for a house
that I once lived in.
I am homesick for a place
where only love grows
from this family tree.

you sit on the sofa
and watch tv
while i lie on the floor

and when the pain gives way
i move
on those limbs you wounded
i crawl
to your feet and look up to you

“hey, dog. come up here.”
i heave my body up
when i sit next to you
i think what i’m feeling
is definitely “happiness”

It rained all year here

In this little nowhere

Where we gorged ourselves

On instant gratification

you called me lovely

And I called you a liar

Because my soul was too bitter

And you could not get inside

I could say that I’m sorry

But you’d call me hypocrite

Calling a bluff that

In apathy lay

you were my whole ******* ocean
but you only loved me in waves