i can't see a way out of the dark
all i need is a flicker
a glimmer
a spark

we're waiting to bloom
waiting to make plans
if everyone feels this way too
why does it seem like they don't understand?

all they do is relate and compare
and maybe they aren't completely aware
but it hurts just the same
cause i still feel the pain of it

i feel so alone
not even fully grown
but ready to make
a new house a home

i've barely even grown up
hardly old enough to drink

still this liquor smells bitter
as i pour it down the sink

i've lost everything now
only been sober a week

i think of my words now
before i decide to speak

these bruises have healed
with the cut on my cheek

not sure where they came from
i still can't seem to think

my eyes keep dripping
like a sink with a leak

i can't hold back these tears
no matter how much i blink

all i want is to turn to
that smooth amber drink

you’re sleeping
and i’ve been keeping
these secrets for as long as i can
i keep looking
keep searching
for a safe place where i can land
these days it seems like nobody can understand
and i’ll stop believing when i start feeling it;
sympathy
firsthand
normally i’d be safe
and feel like my place
is wherever i’m holding your hand
but it’s clear you want space
so i muffled my thoughts
by burying my head in the sand

it’s 3am
and i’m drowning in my thoughts again

3:30 alone in my bed
thinking over what i said
my thoughts on repeat
like a song i can’t skip
wondering if i’m gonna slip
up in the air
but somehow still on the ground
it doesn’t feel fair
seems like i’m bound
to **** it all up
no matter what i do
so why does it matter
what path i choose?
if i always come back to
“what the hell did i do?”
why does it matter
what path i choose?
all i seem to do
is lose
i always end up back here
all ******
and bruised

this seeems to be
the only path i choose

i don’t know what’s worse — too many thoughts thrashing around like a hurricane in my brain, or the still, eerie silence that comes after the rain

this feels bittersweet
you in my arms
half asleep
on top of your soft blue sheets
your breathing deep
i’ll be leaving
after a short sleep
but i know these memories
i will always keep