I hate it when people tell me "you don't believe in god now because you haven't been through a situation where all you can do is pray the outcome will be good" well, where was your God when I was contemplating taking down an entire bottle of pain killers on a stomach that had been empty for days? where was your God when I chugged down half a bottle of ***** in an attempt to make the voices stop? where was your God when I prayed, with tears in my eyes, that I would get better? where was your God when I was sitting in the bathtub holding a blade to my wrist, hoping I would hit an artery? where was your God when all I could do was hope and pray that he would come down and save me? where was your God when I prayed for him to make the pain stop? when I begged him with everything I had to take me with him so that I wouldn't feel this way anymore?