Skypath

Skypath Sep 2014

Sickness

Your fingers pull at shower-soft hair
Getting longer but not too long
Your eyes are dry but so is your tongue
Because you can’t find it in you to cry

Your chest is tight but it’s not the shirt you wear
It’s your ribs closing in on your lungs.
Your insides are crushed beneath the weight of their words
Pronouns buried like landmines beneath your skin
There’s a sickness inside you
Gnawing on your bones
Black tar sticky in your stomach
A violence pressing against your organs

You’ll feel better when you’ve changed your body
When your voice is deep and there’s hair on your jaw
You can take your shirt off at the beach
And flirt with girls at the coffee shop

Until then there’s no one who can understand
No one to get why you stand before the mirror
Running your hands over your flattened chest
Or practice walking like there’s something between your legs

No one asks why you’re not happy with cancer
Because no one is happy with cancer
But no one understands that your dysphoria
Is a sickness
And its terminal

#depressing #sorry #trans #transgender #ftm

Skypath Sep 2014

Metaphors for Blue Eyes

Metaphors for blue eyes
There's one for every shade of blue
A rainbow of silken language meant to charm
They're as common as the color itself
But recently I've come to realize
Why

Her eyes
Dark, under curling lashes and golden hair
Like crystals flashing from the rough
Dream-catching sunbeams and sparkling
Like the summer sun on a warm pool
A medley of sapphires and diamonds
That I wouldn't trade for the world

His eyes
Fairy pools of magic wonder
The not-so-secret glimmer of bright water
An enchanted river whose glow
Is the bright warmth of an autumn day
Crystalline water that welcomed my touch
The still surface broken when he laughs

Faith and George

#love #eyes #nature #blue #metaphors #pretty

Skypath Sep 2014

Drowning

I’m drowning
The distance between us is the depth of an ocean
And I’m sinking deeper in the darkness
I can’t breath
You’re like the lighthouse calling me home
But for the life of me I can’t pull myself to shore
I want you
You’re the rope holding me to the dock
And I’m clinging to the cord
I need you
You’re the shining star in my dark sky
Something to save me from my darkness

You’re drowning
There are anchors tied to your limbs
Dragging you deeper and deeper
You can’t breath
You have your own demons
I’m struggling to fight them but it’s an army of two
You want me
There’s a sickness in your chest
Caving in your ribs until there’s nothing left
You need me
Their words add more weight to your ankles
You can’t find the air or the light

We’re drowning*

But maybe together we can learn to swim

#love #depression #inspiration #drowning #together #positive

Skypath Sep 2014

Video Call

A thousand miles
Separated by screen and wire
Bringing two worlds together for such short hours

You laugh and smile until I grow restless
Shifting between you and him
Worrying about what he thinks
Until finally I find the courage
To tell you I'm going

Your smile fades when I say his name
Your lips an understanding line as you agree
He's been waiting for me, yes
But so have you

I'm sorry I don't know how to manage time
I want you to know he does the same things
The thin-lipped nod
The grudging I love you
The saddened blue eyes as I return to you

But I'm tired
Tired of endless calls and worries
Last minute change of plans
And the looks on your faces when I leave
You know I'll call you again
But you don't know why I have to ever stop

George and faith

#love #depression #sadness #polyamory

Skypath Sep 2014

Crush

It's elementary, my dear
This bittersweet affection that I feel
From one boy to the next I grew
Ladder rungs of broken hearts

First grade
Blonde hair and disarming smile
Recess games and hallway passes
A note in a diary and minutes spent giggling
Never talking, always watching

Fourth grade
Glasses frame of brown hair and thin shoulders
Curious enigma to come and go
A bit more literate diary entrees
One year of crossed legs and shy smiles

Fifth grade
A growing tree of lean muscle and blue eyes
Short brown hair and a charming grin
Side by side on a rubber track
Gray skies and sweet goodbyes
A bright dance floor and a shattered heart
Miserable nights and heartbreak songs

Seventh grade
Long dark hair and chocolate eyes
This spring has brought a strange surprise
Wiry muscle and soft cheeks
Once admired, then adored
An ongoing thrum of sweet affection
Sidelong glances and gym class stares
New discoveries and quiet realization
Girl can love girl

Tenth grade
A firecracker packed with mysterious boys
And an enigmatic girl
A bomb in the summer sky
Spelling new names, new faces, new hearts
A whisper of 'I love you' at long last returned
Names carved on my ribs and pulling my lips
A tightened chest never felt so good

#love #cute #crush #sweet #childhood #kid #timeline

Skypath Sep 2014

You're a Sin

Pride
The sin from which all others arise
Like the ocean from which dinosaurs came
A feeling so delightful it must be sin
The feeling I get
When I tell others
About
You

Envy
How can you be just that beautiful
You're a spider silk spiral of shining eyes and glowing heart
I'm a bitter rebellion with everything to lose
A smile graces your lips while profanity steals mine

Greed
You, you, and you
An auction of hearts and I want them all
A symphony of I love you's and ringing laughs
I want you all to myself but that's
A bit
Much

Gluttony
You ignited in me a fire that ravaged
Every *****, bone and tissue
Spreading from my heart to my stomach to my mind
I want to devour you
To hear you cry
For me
Alone

Sloth
The silence in winter and the drizzling spring rain
Can no better describe
How I long to lie with you
Our bodies melting together like church candles
A prayer of quiet touches and sinful words
But no movement
Just us

Wrath
Who has done this to you
You've been wronged and dear god save me because
My blood is on fire for a stranger
A boiling in my veins struggling to escape
By means of tongue and nail and teeth
The one who's hurt you
Forever stilled

Lust
I crave you
Every nerve in my body is electrified and your touch
Is all I need to release the storm
I need you in the most primal way
A chorus of gasps and groans and high pitched words
Frenzied movements unplanned and unspoken

You are a sin

But I am seven

#love #sin #lust #sins #deadly #seven

Skypath Sep 2014

Tu ne s'aime pas

They whisper about you
Like the wind whispers in the leaves
But instead of a calm summer breeze
It's a lightning storm of bitter words

Your mother calls you her son
And while that might have been solace once
Now it's a mask you hide behind
You are her son
But you're also her daughter

Your friends become a pack of jackals
Just when you need them most
Turning their backs with glittering eyes
Their tongues stained with lies

'She' is such an enigmatic word
It could mean anyone
But you think of the witch that hurt you
Will you ever not see her in your mind?
What was once love has soured
Because of her

Tu ne s'aime pas
You don't love her
You did
But you've found your freedom

The sliver of light in a dark cave
The wanton brush of an angel's wing
A savior to pull you from this abyss
Maybe I can be that savior

Tu ne s'aime pas

#love #heartbreak #angel #and #positive #negative #technically