Lately,
I have been smoking a lot.
Drinking more.
Thinking about suicide higher than before.

Sadness.
Sweet sadness..
I have missed you.

The three toed sloth
Rhymes with goth
Or is it oath

Moves slowly

Sometimes algae grows on his head
Joni Mitchell didn't mean him
when she said

Wild things run fast
Randy, three toed sloth,
he'd come last

Once a week he climbs down from his tree
And that's to have a poo
and ***

Now even sloths get amorous
But *** is tricky up a tree
He moves too quick, he's not used to it
And hits the ground involuntarily

Randy broke his arm
Some people fixed it
with titanium

So he can resume his slothful days
But he's more careful now
in his loving ways

The devil on my shoulder speaks
Clouding my mind with thoughts
I'm not supposed to think of,
Who is this that is addressing her?
Jealousy rises in me; what am I to do?
Attention to details I gave
Remembered all the little things
Always there when needed,
Invisible am I; as he is present
He becoming her only devotion,
Louder now the devil whispers
Not a care in the world if she talks
Let her want; I won't lift a finger,
A taste of that; which she gave
To me when I wanted her the most,
Anger rebelling in my attitude,
She comes; and one word she utters
Just one; like a heavenly quire
Breaks my wall of stone emotions
Crumbling to her feet, defenseless;
The devil turns away knowing defeat
I am hers; to her bidding I am dedicated,
Will my love ever be reciprocated?
© okpoet

There's this mask I wear
The glue is so tight
Hiding me, hiding all
All you don't see, unless you get really near
That I'm not alright
My eyes are dark and deep enough for you to stand in
My wrists are ******, so are my thighs
My heart is shaky
And I've got non stop anxiety
But from far you see this mask
You hear my loud laugh
And see me hold my tummy in pain from giggling at my own joke
You swear I have recovered
When actually my late night tears help me keep the mask on
I may not look injured
Nor hollow
Or in pain
Just with this smile on my face
Of this mask that I wear
I hurt unheard and unseen,
Impatient for good days.

If my heart was transparent
A lot wouldn't be the same
Anyways, I'm already used to building these walls around my heart.
It's protected, I guess. From the outside world yet within me the storm never calms.
Tears wet these pillows
All night through sometimes wishing that morning must never come
Holding the grudge against myself
While smiling to all standing right in front of me.
Asking is this how life suppose to be.
Limping with anger yet holding the last thought of laughter
One hell of life we living.
You see...
This mask doesn't show things in 3D
That's why I love rainy days
Coz my tears are never recognized
Sadness engulf my soul while hoping that one day I will be able to remove the glue on this mask I wear.

You have always been my heartache,
But I'm not placing you under the blame,
For love caught me off guard before I could breathe,
And it unknowingly swept me away.

It dragged me under to a hidden city,
Where I found myself as I started to drown,
So I looked to you to save me,
But I knew you wouldn't follow me down.

Friends since elementary school
Stuck with me even when I acted like a fool
A soccer star
Beat me in every scrimmage by far
I went to hra
Our friendship turned to grey

Two years pass apart
I figure he had no room left for me in his heart
I miss that laugh and smile
But then I see him at legacy practice and he says "it's been a while"

That night he's in my dreams
We dance forever it seems
I wake up all cheery and glee
I find out that next day, he had dreamed of me