And if you're not mine why should I envy all the pretty girls that flirt with you?

And if you're not mine why should I even think of kissing your lips so much?

And if you're not mine why should I keep thinking you are?

And if you're not mine why should I care if you look at her the way you should be looking at me?

my body
            wants
                 to move
                               in
                   rhythm
        to your
heart

Her sadness
Was not beautiful,
Neither was it poetic.

Rather
It was a kind of desperation
Hopelessness,
That would scare others away.

And that's why she hid it behind a weak smile.
That's why she'd never tell.

I want you here

so i can make crystal clear

that i love you

and that its not your fault i will no longer be here

that its not your fault I started to disapear

and please know
the person you fell in love with

is no longer near

I sent it
At three AM
On one of those nights
Where silence gets violent
And I'm alone in my head.

I told you about the
Tiny pink pills
And how
If I took eight
I would sleep forever.
I gushed that
They were hidden
Under the toothpaste slathered
Countertop
In my bathroom.

I told you I loved you
But that
You weren't enough to stop me anymore.

I did actually consider it.
It was one of those nights.
But at some point,
As I laid on top of my comforter
And shivered under the fan,
I realized that
You weren't going to wake up
And convince me out of it.

I also thought
About how my mom was
A light sleeper.
How the floorboards would sound like
Orchestras
And the cabinet
Would be the symbals
To her.

I fell asleep
Numb,
But naturally numb,
And woke up wondering
What you would say.

You didn't say anything.

She's the type of girl that finds comforts when watching rain drizzle down her window.
She views life as a storm, sometimes with shallow rain and sometimes pouring.
But at the end of the storm, there's an apparent beauty.
She prays to be like the rain.
Leading up to something beautiful.