If you hurt me I will not hurt you
I will walk away

If you love me
I will love you back

If you offer a chair
I will sit with you

If you offer peace
I will join you

If you hurt me I will not hurt you
I will walk away

If you love me
I will love you back

i realized recently that i do love my friends
that word so easily gets thrown around now
that i was never sure that other than family and those i deeply cared for
that it would ever come out
now im not trying to give some kind of old folks home rant
about how things have changed
and love doesnt mean the same thing that it used to
like it doesnt hold the same weight that it used to
when in reality i feel like it holds more than ever
it's just easier to bear now
so we say it more than ever
in a world defined by hatred
its only right for us to love each other
whether friend or brother
son, daughter
sister, father, mother
cousins, aunts, uncles
significant others
now i didnt tell my friends i loved them
because the phrase was reserved for those i couldn't live without
but honestly, not trying to be over dramatic
but in terms of my friends
i dont think i would be alive without
like i dont think i could fall asleep at night, hugging my pillow tight and smile without
like i dont think i could get up in the morning and brush my teeth, clean my sheets and get in my car and drive without
and since i know that there are people that feel the same way towards me, theres no longer this strong sense of wanting to die right now
so i really love my friends
and i let them know that every chance that i can manage
because that old folks home sermon
about how love isn't the same now
doesnt do us any good
it only really does us damage

❝  ❞

“ Ｈｏｗ  ａｒｅ  ｙｏｕ? ”
            s/he asked.

So, I answered

“ I'm

       B R  O  K E  N
       E
       T
       R
       A N X I O U S
       Y
       E
       D

                L
                O

                N
                E
                L
                Y

       N           E   V
       E      R              G  
       O  O                     D
       E                           N
       O                           U
       G                           H

                F     R     U
          S                        T
        R                            A
       T                              E
       D     F      R      A     G
       I
        L
         E
            D   Y    I    N    G


Sorry for not telling the truth
I just don't want you to worry.
I would rather choose to keep it
Deep inside me.

i'm a pretender
a thin man in disguise
return to sender
with address hard pressed to find

considered a keeper
secrets about myself
i'm a deciever
some things i can not help

a reverse revolator
there are things i'll never tell
a strong detonator
wiring myself up to fail

You miss a meal,
Then it turns to two,
A day passes,
And no one notices you.

Craving nutrition,
There goes a week,
Those many hours,
Longing for something to eat.

Using the same excuse,
"I'm not hungry, I just ate,"
The numbers keep dropping,
Was sixty-three, now fifty-eight.

You can't go back,
People are noticing you,
They say you should eat, and you say,
"You have something better to do."

It's harder than you think,
Just leave me alone!
Stop telling me to eat and drink!
If I need you, I can find my phone.

Why is poetry dying
when we still have the gift?
If we still have water
then we still have a ship.
We can sail to the places
these words take us.
We are still shaken
by the words that make us.
Why should we let poetry die
when there is so much to explore?
If only people read it
and discovered more.

Today is the happiest I have ever been
In my entire life
And yet,
I feel sad.
I still have this darkness inside of me,
And I still feel the need to cry
Every time I’m alone.

Why

Why can’t I just be happy
Why do I still have to feel so empty?
I don’t understand
There is nothing more I could need
My life is filled with love and joy
And I am on a righteous path
surrounded by friends
And loved more than ever before
By a boy

This boy
Is all I could have asked for
And more.
I don’t believe in soul mates
But I believe that every time I look at him
I smile
And I feel safe
And happy
And content.

So
Why

Why when I lie in bed at night
Do tears roll down my face.

Why

When I stand in the shower
I scratch at my skin.

Why

When I look in the mirror
I hate what I see.

Today I realized
That this darkness that is inside
Will stay
Forever
And today
I must learn how to live
Side by side
My happy and my sad
My smile and my tears
My love and my hate
Because that’s what makes us human
And that’s what makes us
Alive.

He was kind,
Funny,
Cute.
He had done some things,
He'd messed up,
But nonetheless,
He was him.

She wasn't special
Or worth his time,
She'd messed up.

He said he loved her,
But it wasn't true.

And before they could even make a move,
She knew he lied.

So they left it there,
Untouched.

She remembered,
But she wished to forget.

He'd moved on,
After all, lies don't last.




One day maybe,
She'll forget.

One day maybe,
He'll remember.