All things considered
I'm doing okay
And thats all I can really say
Because it isn't easy
And it is definitely not fun

To have your family torn apart
from the outside, in

To have your home taken away
with only scrapes of possessions left

To have traditions shattered
and nothing quite like before

To have new people
brought into your life
while having one of the most important,
*taken away

The morning I awake
To your arms around me

I am reminded
of how much I am loved
and how much I love you

I am reminded
of how safe I feel with you
and how I never want to be with out you

I am reminded
of what you mean to me,
*everything

If I were a tree
I would sway in the wind
Letting my leaves tremble and shake
Feeling the freedom of air all around them
For just a moment
they would understand the birds
The thrill of freely flying through the air
with nothing to ground them

I would let the birds
sit on my branches
feeling for a second
what it is like
to be supported, to be rooted
to have something to keep you from falling

Each will envy the other
not realizing what they have
would be a dream to another

I imagine us
collecting affections
like loose change

bits hidden everywhere

in couch cushions,
in strong, stitched
seams

pennies hoarded
in an old sweet
jar

cluttered coppers
at the bottom of
coffee cups

we count,
meaningless amounts

building neat piles
of insignificant coins

until they become
our fortune

Some days I still have a hard time understanding
the boy who said he loved me,
broke my heart wide open
He said that no matter what
No matter how things went down
that even if we weren't destined to be together
That at least we had a friendship
to last a lifetime
But his messages became spotty
and his appearance in my life eventually ceased to exist

He stopped coming around
Stopped being there for me when I needed him
On the days I couldn't breathe because I was crying so hard
He told me I should go to someone else with my problems
Our friendship was demolished

So all I gained was a broken heart,
trust issues, and a life lesson?
that doesn't seem right

Now I have a hard time believing
the words that come out of lovers mouths
I assume they are beautiful lies
meant to keep up a charade
Is that not what love is?
An incredible lust and infatuation
turned game of pretending to care
in order to use someone for what you need?
At least that's what he showed me.

I wish I was still the hopeless romantic I once was
But now I have a bitter heart

I would say I love you
to the moon and back
But that would be a lie
For my love cannot be measured
by miles or metrics of any kind

My love for you crosses oceans
My affection spans galaxy's
My adoration does not end at
a point decided by a ruler

My love for you is endless

I was tired of making up excuses for you
Each time, I told myself
He is just so busy
He didnt mean it
He just forgot to get to it
But all I asked was for ten minutes of your time
And some how you still managed
To get lost in the world of things more important than me
So I have accepted my status near the bottom of your list
I wont put any more energy into this
Because everytime I reach out
It seems my name gets pushed further down on the list