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replacing white lines with gray ash and sleeping in beds for sleeping in bathrooms and you wonder if you had any self respect in the first place because this afternoon you tried to think of your happiest memories in the past year and it wasn't when you were in someone's arms or thinking of your successes in the mirror while you flexed your kickass young *** it was when you were smoking bummed menthols and your friend commandeered a miniature tractor in the tenderloin and conducted two drug deals in less than 30 minutes and you watched her disdainfully with her girlfriend and wondered where on ******* earth you could get a three dollar old fashioned and let a forty year old flirt with you for coke and you wouldn't even have to do anything for it wouldn't life be nice like that
 Oct 2014 Shadows Rising
blythe
I don't know what it is in you,
But no matter what you do
My heart is falling for you.
It is just you
That makes me feel like going crazy,
Makes me so undeniably happy.
 Oct 2014 Shadows Rising
blythe
Without pains
I will not be strong,
Without sadness
I will not know the true meaning of happiness,
Without failure
I will not learn,
Without rejection
I will not try to be a better person,
Without challenges
I will not be triumphant,
Without stress
I will not appreciate a good rest,
Without hardships
I will not know how much I can handle,
Without pressure
I will not let my talents grow,
Without those things,
Which at first,
I thought are bad things
I will not be the person I am right now.
Now I understand,
God gave me all those
To create a better version of me.
Every silent morning
Gazing with warm eyes
From the cold, hard mirror
Is my image.

But when night falls,
That image disappears.
Gone with the wind
Away.

Do I cease to exist?
Why can't I see that person anymore?
Am I just
An illusion?
The sun adorns the pale blue cheek,
The clouds blossom on either side,
Falling slowly.
           Breathing deeply.
And somewhere out there,
I am lost in the sky.
Aching with melancholic memories,
The sea stands, Freedom carving her wings, Beholden to nobody.
Each wave destroying the remaining morsels of empathy that she still harbours.
One cannot imprint themselves on water,
But footprints are etched onto the sand.
Here's a little secret though- the sand is but swallowed by the sea.
The colours contort from one gruesome grey to another.
The days she is blue, the beast lies dormant,
Waiting for the black to raise its ugly head.
So free I think,
Water turning to fire, defined only by her existence.
Everything pales in comparison, the sun, the sky, the clouds.
But then I realise- what is the sea? Where are her colours from?
She is nothing but a reflection of the sky.
Her moods influenced by the clouds.
Free? I laugh.
She is captured.
The sea is, and always will be my biggest inspiration.
The World was a boy once. He was birthed into space without the faintest idea of what to gravitate toward. Not yet in endless rotation, he floated across the great void. Wandering in the dark, the simple sphere of water and dirt had no place of purpose in the swirling stars. That it is until he met the Sun. Beautiful and inescapable when her face shone upon his eager eyes. Little by little, he could not help but be drawn to her warmth and seemingly steady nature in the universe. But alas, the sun is a solemn and solitary creature, for no one and nothing may get too close to her, for if they did, her truest nature would disintegrate them in time. Learning this truth meant little to the young world, for he had found his love for the rest of time and felt satisfied just orbiting near enough to bask in her light. As the years went by and the Earth grew old, in an act of continued dedication, he tore a piece of himself away and held it close so that even when his was back turned away from her, he could see her serene luminescence in the reflection of the grey rock rotating around him at just the right time. So goes the tale of a love never to be received nor forgotten.
But maybe someday, their matter may be one.
I've been watching a lot of star trek.
 Oct 2014 Shadows Rising
Puck
do you know what it feels like
not to belong?

the mind is aching,
searching for a place
to call home,
where you get tucked in at night
and finally get some sleep

a place
to feel free,
where you can dance in the rain
and laugh in the pale moonlight

but the thing you refuse
to believe

you reject
in the depths of your heart

is the search
will never stop.
anyone relates?
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