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Mike Hauser Sep 2013
M. Before we start I notice this interview is titled Part 3. May I ask what happened to Part 2?

MH. Well there was that little incident with the fire but we really don't like bringing that up...

M. Fire?...

MH. Epp!!

M. But how...

MH. Epp!!

M. Did you..

MH. Epp!!

M. Okay, shall we just get started?

MH. Sure, Why dwell on the past...

M. So Mike you've been on HP since March. How do you like it?

MH. Hallucinogenic Psychedelic's? I've actually been on those for years! Why I remember back in the 60's...

M. I was talking Hello Poetry...

MH. Oh...well isn't that embarrassing...

M. Ah....yea

MH. Do you see that?

M. See what?

MH. Never mind...

M. So what about Hello Poetry?

MH. What about it?

M. What do you think of it so far?

MH. I love it!  I feel I've really grown as a poet here. Some of my pieces lately I've really had to dig deep into my ******!

M. You mean Psyche...

MH. No I'm pretty sure I mean ******...

M. OKAYYYY...So what type of poetry do you enjoy writing the most?

MH. I kind of go with the flow...whatever poops I mean pops in my head!

M. Could that have been a Freudian slip?

MH. You've got me there! You do know me as well as I know myself Mike!

M. That I do!

MH. I guess when it comes down to it I really just have fun...I never take myself serious.

M. Well this has certainly been informative!  I'm sure our one reader will enjoy this...

MH. Do you see that?

M. See what?

MH. Never mind...
Part 1 of this interview was posted on May 8th.
Part 2...well we don't like to talk about that.
Mike Hauser Jan 2014
M. So Mike I hear you've been gone?

MH. Why yes I have!

M. Why the absence?

MH. I just needed some time to clear my head.

M. That should have taken no more than a couple minutes

MH. Ahhh...no, I was gone a couple weeks. I was going to stay out a month but this site is so addictive! I'm sure our listening audience can attest to that!

M. Audience? No ones listening to this...

MH. But you said...

M. Me?

MH. Yes you said when we were talking that I was going to be on the radio.

M. Dude your me...

MH. I know!

M. Your blowing my mind here...Can we just get on with this?

MH. Sure...What I was trying to do was really just find myself.

M. Find yourself...were your lost?

MH. No just needed to try and do away with some of the junk in my life.

M. I'm starting to wonder if I'm you then why is this the first time I'm hearing about it.

MH. That is odd isn't it..

M. Almost as odd as interviewing yourself.

MH. Almost

M. So any good poems written while you were gone?

MH. To tell the truth I couldn't stop writing...If they're any good only time will tell.

M. How do you think the interview is going so far? Am I doing alright? Asking the tough questions?

MH. I think your the best...That's why I only let me interview myself!

M. Speaking of interviews I've got another one scheduled I really need to run...

MH. Really? With who?

M. Oh it's you but you the World Famous Nuclear Physicist!

MH. But I'm not a...

M. Hey...It's what we call in journalism as a lead in...makes them want more.

MH. But I'm...

M. Don't worry, we'll make something up...

MH. We always do...

M. Ain't THAT the truth!

MH. Shall we do it over lunch?

M. Sounds good...you buying?
Mike Hauser Jan 2020
An Interview Of Mike On His Absence And Dramatic Return- Conducted by Himself

M. So Mike I hear you've been gone?

MH. Why yes I have!

M. Why the absence?

MH. I just needed some time to clear my head.

M. That should have taken no more than a couple minutes

MH. Ahhh...no, I was gone a couple weeks. I was going to stay out a month but this site is so addictive! I'm sure our listening audience can attest to that!

M. Audience? No ones listening to this...

MH. But you said...

M. Me?

MH. Yes you said when we were talking that I was going to be on the radio.

M. Dude you're me...

MH. I know!

M. You're blowing my mind here...Can we just get on with this?

MH. Sure...What I was trying to do was really just find myself.

M. Find yourself...were your lost?

MH. No just needed to try and do away with some of the junk in my life.

M. I'm starting to wonder if I'm you then why is this the first time I'm hearing about it.

MH. That is odd isn't it..

M. Almost as odd as interviewing yourself.

MH. Almost

M. So any good poems written while you were gone?

MH. To tell the truth I couldn't stop writing...If they're any good only time will tell.

M. How do you think the interview is going so far? Am I doing alright? Asking the tough questions?

MH. I think you're the best...That's why I only let me interview myself!

M. Speaking of interviews I've got another one scheduled I really need to run...

MH. Really? With who?

M. Oh it's you but you the World Famous Nuclear Physicist!

MH. But I'm not a...

M. Hey...It's what we call in journalism as a lead in... Keeps them coming back for more.

MH. But I'm...

M. Don't worry, we'll make something up...

MH. We always do...

M. Ain't THAT the truth!

MH. Shall we do it over lunch?

M. Sounds good...you buying?
Mike Hauser May 2013
Me: So Mike, tell us a little bit about yourself...

MH: You should know that...your me.

Me: I know but I'm interviewing you...

MH: Isn't that a bit odd?

Me: Yes but your to lazy and cheap to hire anyone and we both know you'd have to pay someone because no one is that interested in you...
I'm you and I'M not that interested.

MH: You do have a point there!

Me: Okay...shall we start over? Are you ready to dive in deep?

MH: You bet!

Me: If you could be any color you wanted...what color would that be?

MH: Wow! You don't play games! That is deep! Can I get back to you with that?

Me: Sure....but you know me.

MH: Yes I do Mike and that's just one of the many things I admire about you.

Me: Why thank you Mike!

Me: How about, if you were a tree....

MH: Woah....Your blowing my mind here!

Me: How about we start with something simple....Can you remember the first poem you wrote?

MH: Not line for line but I do remember it was in the 7th grade to my first girlfriend...something about her turning around and seeing the boy in love with her...
Of course that boy was me.
I'm sure it also had lines in there about her flaming red hair and massive freckles and who doesn't love those! Her name was Fresca Schmertz....a true beauty!

Me: That's great but could you keep your answers short? We don't want to lose the readers...

MH: Yes

Me: Good...so how long after that did you discover you were an amazingly talented poet (his words, not mine)

MH: Yes

Me: Yes...what.

MH: You asked me to keep my answers short....so I am

Me: But that's not really an answer.

MH: Okay, then maybe

Me: Maybe?!  That doesn't even make any sense! This just isn't going to work!

MH: I think its going great for someone who's talking to them self....

Me: Arghhhh!!!

To be continued?
After reading the interview on the blog yesterday I thought...I want to be interviewed and you know I couldn't find anyone so I brought out the trusty cassette recorder...sat down with myself and started talking!
One thing I found out is that I'm pretty fascinating once I get to know me!
Mike Hauser Feb 2015
Mike H. Excuse me, didn't we already do an interview?

Me. We did and although I asked some really hard hitting questions I feel your answers weren't up to par. Have you lost your edge?

MH. Lost my edge? Are you kidding? We spent hours on the interview!

M. Yea...that's kind of a ******.

MH. What are we going to do now?

M. Well personally I'm going to ask the same questions, your just going to have to up your game...

MH. Then should we get started...again?

M. Mike, I thought I'd never ask!

MH. Then take it away Mike!

M. So Mike it seems to me and I'm you so that would be us. Well we've been curious why every year in January you disappear from Hello Poetry.

MH. Well I like to take the time to refocus...

M. Epppp!!!

MH. What? What'd I say??

M. That's why I scraped the last interview....BORING!!! This is the new millennia and we're really not that interested in the truth.

MH. So should I talk about my being on the run from international spies?

M. Perfect!

MH. Or how while I was away I jet setted around the globe giving interviews to all the magazines about my world renowned poetry.

M. Do tell!

MH. And after that I was on a jungle safari and was kidnapped by that tribe of pygmies only later to be rescued by a jungle man calling himself Tarzan of the Apes?

M. You have been busy!

MH. But none of it is true!

M. Uh...your starting to bore me AND our mega readership again.

MH. Well after all that I canoed my way back across the ocean and here I am!

M. You know at times I truly amaze myself...

MH. Don't I though.

M. You know we should do these interviews more often. Hanging out with you otherwise can pretty much one...big...yawn.

MH. Did I mention the sharks?
Rani jutarnji intervjui
#1 Dok grad spava uz cvrkut ptica koje niko ne osluskuje.

M: Sta za tebe znaci cvrkut ptica?

mh: Za nekog ko zivi citav zivot pored ulice, tacnije u nivou ulice, gde me od trotoara deli nekih 25-35 cm zida, a od vozila  1.5 -2 m, priguseni zvuk vozila koji se postepeno pojacava i postepeno gubi u kracim ili duzim intervalima uz onaj huk u trenutku prolaska kao i govor prolaznika, urezao se u mene i postao deo mog zivota.

Retko uhvatim sebe kako slusam te zvukove sem kada mi se neki bas nametne i to onaj ljudski u duzini jedne recenice koja moze da se izgovori prolaskom pored par metara zida. Iz te jedne recenice koja ima svoj zvuk i tematiku profil prolaznika je vrlo lako zamisliti. Ponekad mi izmame osmeh, a ponekad uznemirenost, pa i strah.

Tematika tih recenica mogla bi se podeliti u zavisnosti od doba dana kada su prolaznici aktivni. Od onih dnevnih tema najglasnije su vaspitno-obrazovne gde se dete uci kako da ne ide ni slucajno pored ivicnjaka, a od onih nocnih, najglasnije su one ljubavne gde tacno znam da u narednih sto metara sledi raskid ili strastven ***.

Ima i onih tema gde ti se smuci i gde sam u fazonu “hajde bre vise” a to su naravno komsijske, koje kad krenu znam da ce trajati bar pola sata ili u kasnim nocnim satima taxi teme, ko koga ceka i ko gde ide.

Ponekad znam da provirim kroz roletne i zateknem vrlo kreativne scene, recimo kreativno iscrtavanje kruga sto mi zene ne bismo mogle.

Vikend je predvidjen za vristanje zena koje pokusavaju da prekinu tucu pijanih iz kafica gde kako se otvaraju vrata treste narodnjaci, a ima i onih koje vole da bacaju veliko kamenje na takve kafice i onda brzim trcecim koracima prodju pored mog prozora.

mh: uh, sto meni ne idu ove duge forme

M: pa zasto ih onda koristis?

mh: Ma ne znam, dosadno mi, a i znam nekog ko voli glupe textove.

mh: Dakle, gde sam ono bese stala. A da, zasto volim cvrkut ptica.

Pa, tokom studija najvise mi je prijalo da u nocnim satima, kad se sve primiri, kad svi polegaju i saobracaj se razredi i kad se moje telo zagreje, da krenem sa radom na studentskim zadacima. Iz dana u dan ritam bi se menjao i ja bih sve kasnije i kasnije odlazila u krevet i tako sve dok nije pocelo da svice.

U tom pomeranju pocela sam da uocavam kad se sta desava na ulici i polako prestajala da gledam na sat. Djubretari bi bucno prosli u 4am a negde izmedju 4:30 - 4:45 bi nastao muk, noc bi pocela da prelazi u dan i tada bi krenulo oglasavanje ptica.

I dan danas ne znam koja ptica je u pitanju jer sa prozora se nije dalo videti ali nije, vrabac, nije golub, nije lasta, ne kresti ko vrana, svraka, nije gugutka sa svojim”dugo spiš”, ne znam, ali znam da je pesma lepa i da dolazi od nekog ko zeli da privuce paznju na sebe. I taj osecaj da priroda opstaje medju ovim betonom mi je bila bas lepa i zanimljiva jer su ptice pronasle rupu u buci i koristile taj momenat da komuniciraju daleko od usiju mnogih.

Te ptice su u stvari bas pametne i prakticne, kad stigne jesen, a one lepo na jug, tamo gde je prijatnije, a ne da se smrzavaju, budu sumorni sve do proleca kao “mi ljudi iz gradova” - Milan Mladenovic

Ptice bi oznacavale tada i pocetak tv emisije nekog kuvara koji bi parlao na spanskom onako kako to samo oni umeju i ja bih sa zamisljenim ukusom polako uranjala u san.

mh: Vreme mi je da uronim u san, zato Laku noc do sledeceg intervjua.

M: Laku noc tebi i svim citaocima

__________
#2 Iskrenost - veoma skup poklon

M: Kako tumacis ove recenice koje smo pronasli na jednom zidu, moglo bi se reci jednu pored druge?
- "Iskrenost je veoma skup poklon, ne ocekuj ga od jeftinih ljudi"
- "Nije vazno da li je skupo, nego da li se isplati"

mh: Nek odgovor ostane za neku drugu priliku.

Prosao je sajam knjiga pa bih volela da podelim sa citaocima jednu pesmu inspirisanu knjigama, zove se "Neizreceno"

NEIZRECENO

Lagano je
prelazila
prstima
preko korica
u ritmu
sto neznost
izaziva

Pogled
mi se usmerio
na pokret
na zelju
stajala je pored
primetila je
izgovorila je

Ja tako
kada mi se
svidjaju
korice

Uzvratih joj
da volim
u muzejima
preko skulptura
da predjem
dodirom
dozivim oblik
osetim teksturu

Znas li ti da je to zabranjeno?
Rece ona
ozbiljno

Tu sam zastala
a u glavi je
odzvanjalo

E jbg
kad volim
ono sto je zabranjeno

E jbg
kad volim
ono sto je zabranjeno

E jbg
vise nije bila tu
vise nije bila pored
ali je i dalje odzvanjalo

mh, Novembar 2016

M: Danas si okrenula novi list?

mh: Today is the day :D

---------------------------------------------------
#3 Koja je tvoja maska?

M: Evo posle relativno duge pauze konacno smo uhvatili mh da nam kaze par reci o tome sta se desava i zasto je nema, da li sprema nesto novo...

mh: Dobro vece svim citaocima i tebi M posebno. Evo samo par reci o tome da se priprema program naucno -obrazovnog karaktera za sledecu 2017 godinu. Bice tu dosta toga sto ce iziskivati da citaoci udju u sebe i potraze neke odgovore.
Jedna od prvih tema bice maske, kako nastaju, njihova uloga i podela.

M: Ja se posebno radujem znajuci da vec dugo radis na tome i verujem da ce sve maske pasti :)

mh: Pa eto nadam se da sam citaocima vec zagolicala mastu i da ce biti tu da isprate program koji sledi.

M: btw. Imali smo jednog citaoca iz unutrasljosti sa komentarom na pesmu "Neizreceno" kaze, u pesmi se navode "korice kao predmet svidjanja" da li to oznacava neku povrsnost ili...?

hm: ne, ne , ne cak naprotiv, sasvim suprotno, oznacava jednu otvorenost da se zaviri i pronadje nesto dublje ispod raznoraznih korica, sem knjige, postoje tu i recimo modni casopisi, ili katalozi o uredjenje enterijera... Tako da mislim da je rec sasvim na svom mestu.

M: Hvala ti mh, ne bi te vise zadrzavali. Vidimo se uskoro :)
mh: vidimo se, pozdrav svim citaocima :)



NASTAVICE SE...
Aqua, bright fresh water
we oft get in the Malaysian Airlines
but not in the MH 370
where art Thou?

where are you all now?
when people and media around the world
bow in your case somehow

still hope you are all alive
i knew that you made that one big dive
right to the bottom of the ocean

all those inspectors are still saying
we can hear your phones are still ringing
my heart, my body and soul
knew: you all are not whole
anymore, but you were just freezing in the cool
do not make me a fool

that big birdie right to the bottom
with that rapid speed
as if to a large concrete

MH 370 you are now in freezing coolest water
know, that we all still bother

between air-intro space
or salted water filled ground
with the deepest bound

no matter what, we still care about you all
what only matters how long have you been suffering
in that suffocating small space between those walls

we all heard you sing

whatever Thy Response, i do understand Thee
no matter what, it's Thy divine decision

oh Lord, that suffocating air on the bottom of the Indian Ocean
how they were suffocated altogether suffered
and that only 2500 km away from Perth

but i trust Thee Lord, Thou hath Thy own reason
whatever may be Thy divine decision and Thy precision

may all passengers be altogether in greatest peace and ease
may they all really be released and now Rest In Peace....




© Sylvia Frances Chan

AD.Saturday 22nd March 2014~~at 3.09 hrs a.m.~~
ADDED Notes:
Since 11th March  this MH 370 has disappeared from the radar navigation~~since then I had watched each hour of every day TV journals~~~till today they have found the wreck~~~the chinese in Beijing announced the news today~~
CORRECTED on Monday AD. 24th March 2014 21.12 hrs. pm~~  Malaysia too has announced this news, that they have found the wreck TODAY 24th March at 2500 km away from PERTH, West-Australia at the bottom of the Indian Ocean~~~~~~~~
3.09 hrs a.m.Since 14th March this MH 370 has disappeared from the radar navigation~Monday AD. 24th March 2014 21.12 hrs. pm~~  Malaysia too has announced this news, that they have found the wreck TODAY 24th March at 2500 km away from PERTH, West-Australia at the bottom of the Indian Ocean~~~~~~~~~
spooky doopy Feb 2015
Anyway, Anaplasmata act aptly and abstractly
Backhands ******* balky baklava
Caractal chasm chant "Catty cavalry can't"
Dactyl dada dawns Djakarta drab

Larva ask dab-tap shabby knack lad
"Ever elect effete experts elsewhere?"
A clad daddy wants a dark jab dart
Fleece fleets flee flecked flyspecks

Cleft feet eve expels three resew eres
Gentle germs gelde grebe's geyser
Cede effects leek fell pecks self lyfes
Hellbent helmsmen helped hexed herders hence

Glen's remelted eggs be Serge-Grey
It insistingly implys impish ipsissimis insipidity
He held next her belched sender heel
Jiggling jibs jinx jimmy's jill jig

Its smilingly spiny impish mississippi I-I-I Is It dinty?
Kidding kibitz kick killing kings kitsch
sigil sign jimmy jib jingling jil
Livid linitis limits limbs limp

Big **** kid kicks thinking gill's zit kink
Midriffs mimics Mis's minimizing mistypings
Slim villi distils it, mini blimp
nil ninhydrin nihilists nicks nyxis nightly

Ms Mmisty's zip disc, if firm, is miming mining
ontology on top of oophoron ostomy.
Hindi hint silly lynchings. Skinny nix I stir
phonology 'pon phytol plywood poops polyglots pompons.

Polygon hoof-moon on poor toys toot
qophs
phony thong ploy loops monolog poppy.  Woody plop! Psst!
Rooks romp rootstock rods

"Posh" - Q
Schoolroom scoffs scoop shockproof snort stools
Mock stork pro or door toss
Thyrotomy 'top torpor tot's torso

So-so rooftop honk slots. Morocco sloops off
Usufruct tu upchucks
Stormy troops root to tot trothy
Vulgus vult vults

**** such curt cut ups
Wrung wctu
Vulgus vult vults
Xu

Wrung WCTU
Yummy yurts
Xu
Zulu zymurgy

Yummy! Try us!
Lawman scandal any pay at a scab yap tat tartly
Zulu zymurgy
Almanac-scratch that-clay tract vacancy
pantoum, lipogram, alliteration
KarmaPolice Aug 2014
MH The Silent Foe

--

Creeping up, a silent foe,

Breaking him down, nice and slow,

Crushing all his hopes and dreams,

Bravery fading, silent screams,

  - -

Fighting on, war and peace,

Just to get, a partial release,

A little confidence, suddenly lost,

One step forwards, the ultimate cost,

  - -

Walls built, a safe distance,

Hiding the world, from his existence,

A man in a cave, keeping away,

Building the courage, to battle today,

  - -

Invisible injury, a runaway train,

Mental illness, significant pain,

Weakness, it's how it's percieved,

Colleagues find...It hard to believe,

  - -

Lack of remorse, absent support,

Pushes him, to obvious thoughts,

Attenion seeking, he was no more,

Discovered today, by local law,

 ----

Tears shed, guilt ridden hearts,

Talking history, picking him apart,

Realisation, lack of due care,

Former colleague...

Empty chair

  ----

Trying to find the words to explain the poem. The message is there. Think about your actions to those you see every day. The ones that annoy you, for their quirky behaviour. There is an untold story behind each of us. Some suffer in silence, some try to seek help. Compassion and understanding is within us all. The unseen illness is a killer.
Dougie Simps Sep 2015
My heart has always beat silence...
feels being alone is its only love,
my mind thinks affection is violence...
her hands hurt me with every touch, mh
that's real life, honest truth
our bond has our souls shattered,
she's tearing out her roots
Cause that's real life, evil spews
of something that blinds the eyes
and puts venom inside of you...
cause baby, that's real life.
oh, real life...
I'm incapable of such decisions,
I can't commit to your body,
she hits so precise, with deadly precision...
but I can't get that feeling...from anybody...
and that's real life...mhmm
oh, baby that's real life,
she feels the forced strain,
that's me pushing you away,
every woman that's ever loved me,
has slowly endured that pain,
the lost of breath, until nothings left
the traveling tears, sinking for years
being left out...in the cold rain..
oh baby, that's real life
that's me girl, mh
that's real life...
no forgiveness, no emotions...
just your heart trapped in a bottle,
swimming in my disastrous ocean
commotion, your lip stick
your heartbeat is skipping
I'm twisted, drunk in love...

oh, that's real life...mhh...
yeah, real life...
I can't...I won't...
oh, I don't...mhh
know how to change!
and that's real life (echoing)
mh, what am I to do?
cause the reality is...

She's the one that said "I can't commit to you."

oh, and that's real life...(echoes fading out)
See what I did there? he can't love because the other one he thought he loved wouldn't love him and he is saying he can't commit now to his new girl...cool right? and that's real life.
How can I love unconditionally,
When I haven't been conditioned to love?


An innocent Angel.


©MH
My pride, closed my mouth shut.
My pride, is wrapped in a chain towards my luck.
My pride, ripped the curtains off the wall
My pride, has me walking alone, oblivious to them all.
My pride, couldn't even make me shed a tear,
Death is real.
My pride, why couldn't I cry ?
My pride, flips a frown when I keep my head up to the sky,
My pride, shrinks my insides to dry.
My pride, sometimes, breaks my heart.
My pride, sometimes, I do not want.
My pride, kept my soul in shame.
My pride, keeps my spirit in the rain.
My pride, oh I wonder why you make me feel this way,
My pride, no matter what you say,
My pride, I will you put you aside,
And be thankful for what I have today.


©MH
We all have times when our pride does get in the way, this is just my story. Thank you for reading.

— The End —