Fck you for encouraging me to take out more than I needed
Fck you for not explaining the difference between subsidized and unsubsidized
Fck you for judging my eligibility based on my parent’s income and not my own
Fck you for pretending to look out for my best interest
Fck you for making me decide on whether to pay you, or go to the hospital
Fck you for harassing me via phone and email
Fck you for transferring my loans to a different company
Fck you for asking for money back BEFORE I graduated
Fck you for asking for money AFTER I graduated with NO job
Fck you for asking for MORE money after I got a job
Fck you for transferring my loans to a different company (again)
Fck you for suggesting a 30year repayment plan
Fck you for the high interest rates that negate the payments I was able to make
Fck you for adjusting my repayment plan without my consent
Fck you for suggesting a lower monthly payment as I crept toward full repayment
Fck your shoes with the belts on them (Boondocks)
And Fck Donald Trump
This is America sucka. The land of the free, and home of the brave
Not the sea of debt and house of enslavement
So, Fck you from the bottom of my heart, and if you call me again I’m gonna slap the sh*t out of you
Goodbye forever

Lick my lips
Cradle my face
Gaze into my eyes
And tell me I'm safe

This poem has a message....


                                       F
                            u        ck         o
                          f            f             F
                        u             ck           O
                       f              f                F
                      u        ­      ck               o
                      f                f­                 F
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                                        ff
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                         ­               K
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      ­                                  A
                             ­           C
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          ­                               !

.
                                  ****
                        ­    **** **** fu
                          **** **** ****
        fly               **** **** fu               fly
     flying            ck **** ****            flying
    flying fly       **** **** fu       fly flying
   flying flying  ck **** ****   flying flying
     flying ****   **** **** fu   flying  ****
          flying       ck **** ****     flying
                            **** **** fu  
                            ck **** ****  
                            **** **** fu
                            ck **** ****
                            **** **** fu
                    **** ****        **** ****
                **** **** ****  **** **** ****
             **** **** **** fu ck **** **** fu
              **** **** ****    **** **** ****
                  **** ****             **** ****

The boy walking in front of me
With a slight limp on his left leg
A backwards astro hat
And dark skin underneath darker clothes
Smelled of coffee
And the humid breeze lifted axe from his neck
Backwards and up my nose

He smelled of trouble
Of seventh grade solitude
And looked as if  he walked out of my fifth grade memories

Still I thought of you

***** and dark
Dope across your tee shirt
Freckles spotting your smile that press into your dimples
Lifting the corners of my mouth

I'd like to lick cologne from your neck
Made of sweat and ****** solitude

You made none of my memories
Smelled and looked of nothing familiar
Only past daydreams

Maybe I'm just tired

I was up all night thinking of Ma
She has always smelled of Ck perfume
No matter how much money we had

She looks like all of my memories

Her short boy haircut
Her androgynous women's work suit
I remember her younger

Still loving women

Made of muscle, teaching me how to run
After soccer and before the gym

At night
She went out in slinky tank tops
Made of sparkles or silk, and sometimes both

Leaving, she'd kiss my forehead as she left me with father and my 101 Dalmatians sippy cup
I'd hug around her neck
And breathe in her Ck perfume

( i )

I lucked out
on table 4 last night
window seat
baseboard heat
with intimate passages
from Ginsberg
in his purest
and most evident form

Cover-all Carl was draped
in his usual garb
(turning pages
of yesterday's news)
animating, culturing, bantering
on the fate of the
Greek barber
(in an accent of which
I'm not so sure)

His cronies
looked on
(with a twisted conviction)
countering
with their own tales
of ingovernance and woe
did you know that Panasonic
lost 5 billion last quarter?

The evening moved
in time lapse...
with painted winds,
streaming lights
and a host of
high school girls
running cold

Maleah passed
on her late shift
(checking the pile and trough),
patronized the boys
and called it a night

( ii )

The bald man
is back at it again
bickering at the till
(something about
a cold free coffee
or 99 cents
or the coloured guy
behind him who got it hot)
a kind Filipino
is trying to get it done
(at 8 bucks per)
losing her cool
and shedding a quiet tear

Wonder what the Purewals
or Haitians or Cossacks
would have to say
about this grim public reminder,
wonder what
this sad f*ck
will do tonight...
without his
bus pass
or sling sack
or broken Turkish stems

Once again I wore my spiked choker and wristband today
I haven't worn them in a while
Because everyone thinks I'm depressed when I wear them
But I realized I don't care what people think of me
I'm not hollow like I was the last time I wore this
So that is all that really matters
This is my little symbol of rebellion
Against hatred
To say to those who prejudge me and hate me:
F!ck you
I'll do whatever the hell I feel like
Your approval is not needed
I'm happy dressed this way
That's all that matters
I encourage everyone to have a little bit
Of that "F!ck You Attitude" today
Just little symbols of rebellion
Draw a black X on your wrist today
In black ink
If you support
Being yourself regardless what people think
And through this little ink symbol
Though apart in miles
We will be united in spirit
Be YOU :)
X

I didn't love her for her body or her beauty.
I loved her for her.
I loved the way she looked into my eyes, not the way her beautiful eyes sparkled.
I loved her thoughts, ideas, feelings and actions much more than anything related to her gorgeous body.
I loved her for kissing me, not because she was a good kisser.
I loved the good and bad and all. It's good to have some differences.
I miss those differences. I promised myself I'd learn to love them and now I'm all alone.
I wanted to live the rest of my life by her side, to wake up with her, hold her in my arms through all of life's struggles.
I promised her I'd always be there, that I'd always love her.
She promised me too.
She says she doesn't love me at all, anymore.
"I'm lesbian and I could never have had *** with you," she told me after deserting me, and apparently all men.
Maybe I didn't want to have *** with her anyways.
I never would have left her for such reasons.
It is, wasn't, and never will be an importance to have *** with someone so special as her.
"Don't pretend", she says. "Even if it's not everything, that's still important"
Well, why do I still say I'd do anything for that girl? Why to I want to kiss her, not because she's attractive to me, but because I have things to tell her that only my lips could tell?
She hasn't looked my way for a while now. I don't exist to her anymore, and she couldn't be happier.
I've not seen her in almost half a year.
She's not been mine for longer than that.
I wonder if she understood what I meant...
I wouldn't just do anything to get her to be mine again,
I'd do anything for her.