Is the happiness getting to you yet?
Do you wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat?
The joy is infecting your mind
but the foreign feeling is soon to be denied.
You cough, you *****
You get a diagnosis. You soon find out...
Your sick with happiness.
-Aiyana

My entire life, I've been around the police force.
Mommy, Uncle Tony, and Anita have always been my favorite.
My heroes with the shiny cars and badges.
In my eyes, they are reigning champions of
"good officers still exist" during times like this.

I've never seen a storm last this long,
and I've kept my silence for far too long.
I was stuck.
For all I knew was a good officer until my brothers
and sisters were exploited on tv screens and magazines.
Blood seeping down and staining shirts, eyes wide open,
and bodies lying in the street.

Growing up, all I knew was a good officer.
So my world shook when I noticed the bad ones, too.
They make it hard for me to defend what I've always
known to protect me. At some point, the bad ones,
we must ****. And with a corrupt justice system
that dismisses the actions that we see, it gets tough...
For both you and me.
"STOP ******* KILLING US," we scream.
But no matter how many octaves we reach,
they still aren't listening. And we are left to wonder,
"Who's next: you or me?"

We make posters with blank spaces,
prepared for another one fallen.
But it's apparent that they refuse to see
that our people are hurting; and that
the chains they put on us not that many years ago
are still bound to us as if they are the latest accessory.

I didn't celebrate the fourth this year.
My people are dying, and here I am breathing
and hoping that anyone near and dear isn't affected by this mockery.
"Black on black crime is a real thing." No denying that statement
but why say that first knowing that some of the ones
we are told to trust don't want to see you free?
Do you understand that any black man could be next?
Even though I'm a woman, ****, it could be me.
My *****, are you listening? Did you get word?
Homie said, "Set your clock back 300 years!"
How about that for a rude awakening?

Quit telling my people that this **** here is an illusion.
You wanna be "a *****" so badly?
Cool, my *****, this is our reality.
We out here dying every day, b.
Pictures of dead bodies and videos of the crime scene,
mothers and children crying.

I never know what to expect.
I'm just praying I don't get a call saying (insert name here)
died at (insert time here) for their melanin radiating
and minding their business.
#JusticeFor___: Trayvon, Sandra, Kathryn, Sean, Eric,
Rekia, Amadou, Mike, Kimani, Kenneth, Travares,
Tamir, Aiyana, Freddie.
Alton and Philando with six shots to the chest.
****, y'all know what's next and I'm so ******* tired.
I will say their names unapologetically
because my heart can't take
my people's hearts tearing at the seams
from the mutual pain we are experiencing.

Black kings, I will pray for you.
Black families, stay whole.
Black children, alive and unborn, I love you.
Apparently: a wallet, sleeping, Skittles, a cellphone,
loud music, cigarettes, cigarillos, shopping at Wal-Mart,
toy guns, failure to signal, CDs, and reaching
for your license and registration can get you all ****** up.

I've never seen a storm last this long.
I've never seen the good officers be seen as the criminal.
I've never seen a people so desperate and anxious
for light at the end of a tunnel...
Until the bad cops thought it was okay
to play illegally and get away.
*7716

love me or hate me you can never recreate me for I am one of a kind knowing that we are all made to die and that the love we had was more like a fad because with the change of the season came your change of heart and finally what killed me was your reason I read the message over and over again convinced myself it was treason but no here we sit weeks later and nothing has changed I've lost myself  and you've pushed forward with a plan that has no place for me anymore but in agony I'll remain to wish you luck because to leave is suicide because no matter how broken my heart is my love for you won't give up because when I said through thick and thin I meant it  i'll be here for you whether were lovers or friends

As I slowly approach the opening of the boat, I see the vast, snowy mountains in the distance. It is so beautiful yet so cold of a sight that shivers go down my entire body. I smile as the slight chilly breeze whips through the air and makes all the snow twist in the starry sky. I never told my men that I was exiting the boat until one of them caught me. I told them to stay on the boat and if I didn’t return by noon to come find me. I decided to take this adventure on foot, but that might be a mistake. Slowly, walking the  land I see several strange and exotic animals. I began to draw a map of the route that I was taking. I never thought that I would be able to adventure to something this amazingly spectacular in my life. This land is just so different from my home land and I love it.
As I am walking, I hear mysterious noises of people talking. I never see the people from where these  voices are coming from. I carefully check around about every five minutes to make sure I don’t get ambushed. Suddenly, an arrow whistles past my head. It nips me across the cheek and blood start to gush out. It is just a slightly warm tingle that runs through my whole face. Suddenly, I am ambushed by this group of natives that I had no clue existed in this place. They knock me out and now it feels like I am drifting above the ground like I am a cloud floating in the sky.
I wake up in a cell that is no bigger than a daisy in a field of sunflowers. The soft whispers of children talking to their parents about various events that happened over the span of the past day seemed to tingle through the air. It is cold and dark in this place.
“Ah, help me,” I scream.
“Shut up in there,” Screams someone from not too far away.
I realize that I am not the only person trapped. The sound of footsteps startle me enough to make me jump. I realize the slight light from a torch coming my way. I look at a young woman no older than myself. She is dressed in a brown, shortsleeved gown that was decorated in several precise gems. Her hair was long, silky black that ran down her back in the most perfect way. I realize this must be one of the natives people and she has come to make sure I haven’t escaped. She looks at me in surprise as I am just standing there staring at her. Her beauty is just so stunning that I couldn’t say anything. I finally snapped myself out of it by telling myself that she is part of the cause that made me be trapped in this place.
“Are you hungry,” She asks.
I don’t want to respond back, but know that if I don’t respond she will cause something worse to happen to me.
“I’m not hungry,” I say.
She begins to turn away and I notice the tattoo on her shoulder. It is of a sun, but the moon was only halfway there.
“What does your tattoo mean,” I ask quietly.
“It means that nobody has made my moon whole, my father owns part and the other half will belong to my husband,” She responds proudly.
She then walks off and I sit here in the dark all alone.
Later that day, the girl comes back. This time she brought food and actually entered my cell. She smiles at me and I notice that she has a jewel in the middle of her forehead. I thought it was just a single jewel, but it actually tied into a bigger part of the headpiece that wraps around her small, heart-shaped head. She realizes that I am staring at everything about her.
“What are you staring at,” She asks.
“You,” I respond.
“Me” She asks.
“Yes, you,” I say.
“For what reason,” She asks shocked.
“Because of the beauty that you are enwrapped in and just how beautiful you are, even without all the jewels,’ I say.
She stops talking and I see that she is just a little bit confused. I believe she didn’t expect me to say that. I didn’t even expect myself to say that. Showing feelings toward someone isn’t really how I do things. She walks out the cell and locks it. When she bares me farewell, I see a slight sadness in her eyes. It’s almost like she doesn’t want to leave me locked up like this.
Hours pass and I finally drift off to sleep. I am awakened by loud bangs on some kind of drums. The same girl is back at my cell again. It makes me wonder if she ever goes and checks on someone else, but me. I look at her and she gets the biggest smile on her angelic face. She seems like she is in a lighter mood today.
“Hi,” She says in a soft voice.
Her voice is smooth, but crisp and it just sends warm tingles throughout my whole entire body. Silence rings through the air as if it were a bird in the wind.
“Goodmorning,” I finally say.
She enters my little cozy living area. I have finally gotten use to the way it feels and all the drafts in the walls.
“What is your name,” She asks.
“Jacques Cartier and you,” I say.
“Aiyana,” She replied.
“What does that mean,” I ask surprised by how mysterious it was.
“It means eternal blossom,” Aiyana replies.
“I must go now, but I will return,” Aiyana says.
She exits the place and yet again I am left all alone.
Hours after hours pass and she still hasn’t returned. Finally, after waiting a life time, she returns. She has a burlap bag in her hands along with a torch. She opens my cell and signals me to follow her. I do as she says. I hear a bunch of chaos outside. I look at her in awe and wonder. She just waves her hand to have me follow her. I’m led through several different tunnels. Each of the tunnels lead away from all of the noise. I hear screams of little children and mothers as guns begin to fire. I then realize that it must be my men. We are finally out under the starry night and I see one of my men running toward me. He screams my name and I realize that I have been gone for longer than I thought. Finally, they have come to rescue me and I will have to get the natives back before I leave this place.

I knew you before
I have seen you in my dreams
Planning my demise.
-Aiyana

I've seen the light once.
To my surprise it was truly darkness.
Maybe I'm just pessimistic, but the honest to God truth is...
When I write I see the light escape from the tip of my pen.
Who truly is my savior? We'll see in the end.
**-Aiyana

I close my eyes and pray. I hope we see the day,
That all this **** wastes away.
I try to contemplate the same reason I stayed. Hoping not to be afraid.
We empty the soil of our lifeless graves. And still we're the still the same.
Yeah, I know we've had enough.
Oppressors with handcuffs,
Professors that ****** us and the school system that kills us.
I realize that this corruption always was.
But now in this time all the lifeless cries are adding up.
Unarmed. And dead.
The trauma in our heads, The damage said.
TRAYVON MARTIN Walking home when Zimmerman shot him.
KEITH SCOTT Sitting in car, reading.
Shot and killed, bleeding,
ATATIANA JEFFERSON Looking out her window,
Shot by police who was supposed to be protecting her though
JORDAN EDWARDS Riding in a car.
Shot in the head by police went way too far
JONATHAN FERRELL Asking for help after auto accident. Shot twelve times by police,
Facts I can't stand. This should not be our reality
STEPHON CLARK Holdng a cellphone.Things you can't condone.
Shot 8 times It is a extreme crime. Officers not charged. a unjustice at large.
AMADOU DIALLO While taking out wallet, screamed stop it.
Four officers fired 41 shots,  another death added to the profit
RENISHA MCBRIDE Auto accident, This **** I can't stand.
Knocked on door for help. Another perceived racist added to the shelf
Homeowner was found guilty of second-degree ******.
You can't change the past just know how he hurt her
TAMIR RICE Playing with toy gun, no justice for someone's son
Shot and killed by police officer arriving on scene.
Yeah you may not believe it. but it happened see it
SEAN BELL Hosting a bachelor party, this is our reality
50 rounds fired by police officers, who were found not guilty.
Another sin you don't see
WALTER SCOTT Pulled over for brake light,
Shot in the back by police officer who lost his mind.
Another unjust on civil rights
PHILANDO CASTILE Pulled over in car, this went too far.
Told officer he had a legally registered weapon in car.
Shot and killed. No justice instilled
AIYANA JONES  Sleeping, shot and killed by officer in a raid on the wrong apartment.
Justice has lost it. Officer cleared of all charges.
TERRENCE CRUTCHER Disabled vehicle, another death of the people.
Shot and killed. No way to heal
ALTON STERLING Selling CDs, shot at close range while being arrested.
No justice. We can't make sense of this
FREDDIE GRAY Beaten to death while in police custody.
Another way of the oppressed, can't you see
JOHN CRAWFORD Shopping at WalMart,  where are our hearts
shot and killed for holding a BB gun on sale,
Again no justice and sin prevailed
OSCAR GRANT Handcuffed and face-down, officer shot him in the back.
Not even carrying a strap. sadness in its wraps
AHMAUD AUBREY Jogging, Heart stopping just cause of perceived injustice.
Jaw dropping but it doesn't end there
GEORGE FLOYD. Killed by officer who made sin his choice
Hate we can't avoid but one thing we can deploy is the truth.
That these are people too.
Say their names and reconize the pain

i couldn’t tell you the number of times they’ve told me
my family of seven
numbers only five.

i couldn’t tell you the number of times they’ve told me,
“they’re NOT YOUR BROTHERS.
lydia is your sister, but they’re BLACK.
they can’t be part of your family,”
though all three are adopted.

i couldn’t tell you the number of times they’ve looked
at my family as if it is BROKEN,
believing there’s NO WAY
those two little boys with DARK skin
belong in that family with WHITE skin, brown hair, and blue eyes,
the perfect depiction of a german family.

this is my REALITY.

it TERRIFIES me,

watching them look

watching them
see
   nothing
               but
                      the
                           skin
                                 that
                                       is
                                          darker
                                                    than
                                                           their
                                                                   own.

no one ever questions that my little sister
with her FAIR skin is my sister,
but when they see my brothers,
they don’t understand how we’re related.

in what world do we live
that this PREJUDICE is allowed?
in what world do we live
that JUDGING people simply by their color is acceptable?

they say that it isn’t,
that they don’t do it,
that they know black people—are even friends with a few—
so there’s no way that they’re RACIST.

and
    yet,
          it
      happens
                             every
                                         day.

we see it on the news all too frequently
but brush it off as insignificant,
somebody else’s problem.

PHILANDO CASTILE.
TARIKA WILSON.
LAQUAN MCDONALD.
REKIA BOYD.
OSCAR GRANT.
AIYANA JONES.   
ORLANDO BARLOW.
SEAN BELL.
MICHAEL BROWN.
YVETTE SMITH.
BOTHAM JEAN.
ERIC GARNER.
TAMIR RICE.
GEORGE FLOYD.

maybe you recognize these names.
these names are only a fraction of UNARMED african americans—
men, women, even children—
KILLED because police FEARED
the COLOR of their skin.

how can we allow this to happen?

they excuse racism, claiming it ceased long ago,
saying that because there are laws against segregation,
that because those laws were enacted,
people automatically follow them.  

then
      WHY
                 do
                     you
                            know
                               ­       these
                                               names?


i hope to one day live in a world
where I don’t have to fear for my brothers’ lives as they grow older.
a world where I know
they won’t have to fight RACISM and PREJUDICES while following their dreams.

i hope to one day live in a world
where we see more than just the color of someone’s skin.
a world where we can learn to ACCEPT and LOVE,
appreciating diversity.

i hope to one day live in a world
where my family is seen as just that,
a FAMILY. a WHOLE, LOVING FAMILY
regardless of the color of my brothers’ skin.

This is not
White vs Black
This is everyone vs Racism
Racism is not just a problem in America
Black Lives Matter!
Say their names
Justice for
Belly Mujinga; George Floyd; Tony McDade; Eric Gardner; Trevor Smith; Breonna Taylor; Sean Fitzgerald; Mark Duggan; Trayvon Martin; Chinedu Okabi; Ahmaud Arbery; Sarah Reed; Michael Brown; Aiyana Jones; Tamir Rice; Jordan Davies; Sean Rigg; Alton Sterling; Phlando Castile; David Dungay; Jamel Floyd; Christopher Alder; David McAtee; Julian Cole; Sheku Bayoh
No Justice, no peace
No freedom until we are equal
White silence is Violence
End Police Brutality
Stomp out racism
Stop killing my people
‘Please…please…please – I can’t breathe…’

I hear you
I see you
I stand with you