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Isabelle Feb 2021
i lost my book yesterday.
i find that without it,
i have nothing to say.

for all my time is consumed
by the thoughts that claw their way through my brain
rather than the flowers that usually bloom

when i can escape from my chain
into someone else's
messed up brain
Isabelle Feb 2021
i see you standing,
just at the edge of the field
where i frolic.
you patiently wait,
knowing i will trip again
waiting to be the one
to pick me up
knowing that i know
when you do
the pain leaves
and i so gladly take your hand
and walk
away from the colors
to be wrapped in a blanket of ...

nothing

a blanket that soon turns to mist
and i realize
i know you.
i have seen you before.
and you make it so easy,
so easy to sleep
and never wake
because though you take the pain
you take the happiness, too
you take all that
makes life worth living
leaving me numb
and then, you leave.
now, i am alone
with nothing

nothing


nothing

until the nothing
you left me with
consumes me.
i become nothing.

i cease to exist
Isabelle Feb 2021
tears slip
silently.
no one sees.
slowly, the numbness
consumes me
and my world turn
from technicolor
to muted greys
Isabelle Feb 2021
i scream
my face a gruesome contortion
as i cry for help.
i scream until my breath
leaves my body.
only then do i realize:
my screams were locked
deep down in a soundproof box
where nobody could hear
but me
Isabelle Feb 2021
you don't see my cracks
but that doesn't make me whole
Isabelle Feb 2021
i am trapped
in a prison of flesh.
flesh that i do not claim.
does a prisoner claim her chains?
Isabelle Feb 2021
"i'm fine"
i say
as tears pour
from my eyes.
you hear
"i'll be okay"
but i know i won't.
this morning,
another thread snapped
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