Tired of the torment and distruction,
Countless sleepless nights, filled with worry and dred. Home is your shelter where one goes to find refuge,
Shouldn't it be?
Tip toe from room to room,
Finding solitude amongst isolation.
Try to build a safe haven.
******* for tearing it down, trying to break down these walls that took me my life to build.
You,
You're nothing, worthless, I almost pitty you but that would mean you're worthy of my thoughts.
Hate you? I don't.
Despise you? I don't.
You hold nothing over me, apart from the one I fear for.
How dear you break her and tear her down,
You will never amount to be even half of who she is.
Justice will be served on a silver platter,
You won't see it coming,
I hope then you'll live in fear.
And I'll be able to sleep through the night.

I've fallen,* lost and alone inside this beautiful abyss.
I wonder how I found myself here, somehow this light reflecting, radiating and submerging me is making it all seem alright.
I found you,in a time of need. Broken in such subtle ways, my spirit is here to guide me.
I don't want to fix you, and I'd be a fool to think you could fix me. Maybe, just maybe we can become more at ease.  
Through the rain and deepest of snow, howling winds that whistle and sigh. We can wait out the storm in this little bungalow
I would wait, for you, a life time.
Just enjoy us in the NOW and see where it takes you.
Let go and be free, I'll be here to catch you

Dada beepbodo beepbodo
These songs rambling in my head
Dada beepbodo
Making sense of what was said

Whackawhackawhacka
With a little tingtang fizzle
Maken ma ***** wanna wiggle

STOP
Before your caught slackin
You might get a smackin
With a paper reading
This is your written warning!

My body is a temple, one I must uphold.
My body is a temple,
A temple with a few bricks askew?
The foundations no longer stable?
Moss and ivy growing up the sides, finding all the crevasses.

To look at, all but a natural beauty.
I'm weathered at such a ripe young age.
My body is a temple.
But this temple needs a grave.

I can't call the architect,
To tell them they ****** up.
All the sympathetic looks, or sideways glares.
No one truly understand the amount I learn,
from the way they look at me.

My body is a safety hazard.
No warning sign required.
Hips and arms clicking and cracking. Legs, back and neck no better

Ease me up gently and handle with care.
I'll bruise with the slightest pressure.
My temple may as well be completely collapsed right on top of me.

My temple has a leak causing the structure to rot.
I don't have the energy,
To fix myself again.
I don't have the energy.
I'm barely even still me.

Once was a little humming bird
So innocent & true
He loved a good adventure
But longed for something new

Singing his sweetest tune
He flew
Unsure of where & how he knew
That the distant land would hold something much less than fulfilling

For that little humming bird
Had been searching foreign lands
Wanting excitement & ambience but was missing so much more

So now that little humming birds sings to a different tune
He's now searching inside himself to be happier & strong
For within finding his inner peace he saw further than ever imagined

Speckled minds
Dwindling down a long winding path
Defeated or lost?

You can almost make out a harness, lock and key.

We live in a free world?
Then why are we all slaves
Fighting our way through this rat race, we call life.

The dew drenched garden on a crisp Autumn morning.
Birds singing their song as you start your day.
Mist rolling over the Hunter Hills & down the galley, creating a lite fog throughout the town.
Your shoes become slicker with moisture, flicking drips into the air as you crunch through the leaves on your walk to school.
Teeth chattering as you make your your journey, steam rising from your mouth a constant reminder of the porige you had for breakfast.
Young & oblivious to the beautiful scenery that surrounds you.
The days when the worst part is facing possible detention.
If only I knew then just how easy I had it.

I will always see the cheese in all of those romantic quotes,
But I finally understand what they mean by "two hearts meeting and together become one."
Yes we argue from time to time & have our differences,
We're only human.
You encourage & push me to be the best that I  can.
Its hard for you but at least you try to show me sympathy when im upset or hurt.
You care for & hold me even if I put up an unnecessary fight.
You make me laugh even when at times I want to cry.
I look at you & feel a wave of warmth flood through me as butterflies dance inside me.
I still feel nervous around you,
Wanting to impress and please you at any opportunity.
I want to build a life with you,
Hand in hand.
Help fulfil each others dreams & longings.
I love you with every ounce of me.

The silence has become deafening
Encased
Submurged
Surrounded
By the silence
The chaos is not ceasing or changing its course
Destined to whirl around me
Twisting and pulling me in ways i could never explain
Pushing and pushing
And pushing
Until i cant hold myself anymore
My stregnth has shattered
Within the silence
Into a thousand tiny pieces i lay strewn on the floor

******* just let me sleep,
without nightmares or fare.
Without pain from clenching & grinding my teeth to the core.
Just please let me sleep.
Without aching tense muscles,
dread & anything more.
One night without clammy fists fulls of hair,
sheets drenched and clinging with sweat.
I weep as dawn breaks for I know my slumber awaits,
& the lord won't allow me to sleep.

You caught me in a webb from the first day we met.
I knew I wanted to know you more,
Although unsure of what more meant.
Intrigued by your quirky sense of humor,
Those soft caring eyes I could swim in for days.
That smile melted my heart & swept me away.
I feel safe when I'm with you as though I'm finally home.
Your little imperfections are what make you beautiful,
I'll promise to never mould or change you.
This is a little piece of me,
To show what you mean to me.
I give you my locket & key.

Blanketed beneath your warm embrace, I'm comforted by your tender spirit.
Learning each other, getting closer & fonder.
We're fragile creatures still finding our tongues.
Spirited away through the nightly hollows, like finding peace among the stars letting the journey unfold & become clearer to see.
I wont be frightened, only eager for what's to come.
Knowing my soul sings louder, I wonder if your song has even begun?

To some,
This life is a maze,
To some just a path,
To others a confusing,
Distant memory.
Never be afraid of what's not yet set,
Before you start to age.
Some may dither,
Others they stumble,
But you remain graceful & strong.
My Granddad,
My hero.
Your wit must have seen you some trouble,
But your charm surely helped you out of a  few pickles.
That heart warming smile fills a room.
My Granddad,
My hero.
No one can ever compare to you.

Trying to figure out the point to " needing to make something of my life".
Constantly stuck in the mud with all these zombies of today.
Being force fed.
Feeding tube rammed down our throats to make their garbage easier for us to swallow.
Everything that life has to offer us is becoming a privilege,
Or taxed to benefit the hierarchy of the country.
Question authority,
Its becoming all we have left.

As the tears stream down her solemn face
The curtains fall
The mask drops
She waits
As her 'friends' disappear

I, solemnly swear... . . . .
Who to?
I've never met you.
I could lie through my teeth, & you have to take my word for it.

Of course I have lack of faith.
When I have to trust ******* like this.
Our future is dependent on imbeciles.
Crumpling away.
Like the forests, the lakes, & streams.

Shivering at this thought is an understatement.
The world WILL go on, Mother Nature will rise up & rid herself of the parasites.
That is why I struggle to sleep at night.

I, solemnly swear to do better by this planet.
My,
Our home.

Whats happened to all
"The little things in life"?
Am I the only one who takes in a breath of appreciation for my surroundings?
Am I alone amongst the foliage and canapay of nature? Loving its raw beauty, with all it has to offer.
I just long to get amongst it
From frolicing through a field, falling, laughing in fits of pure joy.
Splashing, paddling, shrieking with excitement amongst the cooling waves.
To sitting in silence, watching the tranqual change from day to night. Colours with such vibrance and flavor I can't help but get lost in time.

Magic use to be fairies I'm sure
Anticipation we try to lure
Playing make believe
Oh to be young and naive
A world full of magical mystery

My own advice must be lacking in something.
Will I in turn become defeated by my own dimise?
What doesn't break you makes you stronger.
Well maybe Im tired of being broken.
Hiding inside my head for now, let me know when you've found "an easy way out"

I see the horizon, such a straight defined line.
A cliff face at either end hundreds of miles apart,
As if forming a gateway to enter this magical land.
So much about this world is so obscure to me,
Questioning everything as a little tot,
The questions some were thinking but would never dear to mention.
Among all the obscurity,
I'v always found a sense of peace
A calming, whenever I'm at the coast.
I wonder if its the rolling tide
Or the hiss of the waves,
At times smashing into the shore on the roughest day's.
Watching the birds dance their beautiful,
Graceful dance,
Dipping & diving,
Gliding with the waves.
Skimming just above the surface.
I a get a sense while watching these creatures,
As free as can be,
That they arrived at this coast line,
For the same reason as me.

I wish I could flip a switch & revert back to childhood.
So free spirited,
Attaining pure joy from the simplest of things.
The world hasn't been tainted by its evil truths,
Slimey slithery bugs being flung in your hair were the worst of your troubles.
Content with your imagination,
Everyday filled to the brim with magical forest creatures.
When did our curtain of innocence get lifted,
The older we get the more hostile and brittle the world becomes.
I dont want to be in a world where we dont get to hear the children play.

True translucent sphares ascending down upon me
Amongst this chaotic mess
The beauty slanted & warping in time

Cascade your light on those who need it
For I am too far to find
At home in the darkness with all it's little creatures
Please
Don't leave me to my own dimise

I'm not lost
No need for pitty
Simply
Knowing
So don't pull back my shades to where I feel most at home

Not enough people sit and observe the world today,
or their closest peers in it.
Too much time spent on trying to get things done, and then wonder how it seldom goes according to plan.
Too much time spent worrying, then wondering where their lives went.

So much beauty, laughter and joy slipping through the cracks.
Never being experienced, never given life nor a chance to shine.
Does it make you saddened to think you may be missing so much of life?
The little things, all because of this thing called "time" may cease to exist.

Projecting through time, space and the now,
no sense of time, we all know that doesn't matter.
Seeing through a lens of pixelated imagery,
no wonder none of this ever seems like reality.
Just take a minute.
Sit back and breath a little deeper.
Take in the beauty of every living thing.
Appreciate what you have and to be able to witness today.
Make a stand for something that truly matters.
Make your heart smile and soul sing,
for your projections will be all you have left.
So don't take for granted those little things.
Live free.

Amongst the vines&mis;;, soft mossy ground under foot&the; smell of rain in the air.
Come.
Get lost with me in this magical land where the catipilars are bright and allseeing.
Come.
Get lost with me where i'll give you a little piece of me & open up a door for you to see into the depths of me.
I'm slipping down a rabbit hole.
I hope you'll be there to catch me when I fall.

There I lay,
Hollow,
All innereds  discarded along side the rubble.
Numb,
Dark shadows cascading faces to the mundane.
Confused & tormented,
Uncertain of where to turn.

I find you.

Both battered & bruised.
Scared & confused.
I'll be your light,
Warmth & comfort.
A safe-haven to rest your weary head.

Yesterday, I could see clearly.
Thinking & actions flowed freely on their own accord.
[ Where is my mind? ]
Yesterday, "things" mattered.
I had goals.
Or so I thought?
I didn't worry about the way I stood, or whether I have a "dorky" look. Because today I saw you.
I was struck with awe by the mere presence of you.
If my limbs hadn't of frozen, then maybe I would have spoken to you. As the days roll by this fog grows thicker, you've become a form of block in my mind. [ Just think something rational! I swear I've forgotten how!]
It's a beautiful dream I've planned out for you & me.
But I know I'll be, forever alone

A lasso wrapped about me, and you have control of the other end.
Just let my soul be free.
Hurt me!
Make me feel ANYTHING than the pain and sadness I still possess for you.
This isn't living!
This is barely surviving!
Yet you don't even know it, the hold you still have over me.
Disregarded so you can continue living your illusion.
*Yet I still long for you, forever I'll wait for you

Mistaken guidance puts a fog like haze on reality.

I wish I was stronger
That my mind would leave me alone
I keep trying
Pushing through all of these walls I've built
I keep trying
To focus on the little things to get me through each day
To focus on the positives in every single day
Why can't I just stop
Stop worrying about how I'm meant to do this because the pain and sadness doesn't stop
I wish I didn't feel so strongly
The emotions I carry weigh me down so intensely
I don't want this to be who I am or how I am
But it's the only way I've ever known how to be
Countless years of trying to brake this cycle just to function
To not feel so alone
To be happy
To be able to feel free of what I escaped from
To stand proud of who I am and that I'm here today

Secrets
Emotions
Heart racing
Softly weeping

No one hears the last cry
As the bottle falls from her hand
Not a drop left
There
Laying beside her
A solem bottle of pills
She lys there helplessly
So peaceful and free

To be is to ponder,
Taking every waking moment & nourishing it giving it life as though it were your last.
Cherish life,
For without it you simply wouldn't be.
Let go of hate caused by wrong doings brought upon you.
The peace & lightness that follows will guide you for the rest of time.
LOVE whole heartedly toward every living being.

At a ripe young age my imagination would take me to faraway lands, where I knew I was safe because you were there to guide me.
As I grew I became confused by decisions made for me,
I was upset because you were my Dad but were unable to be there for me.
Headstrong & stubborn with an attitude to boot, are just a couple of reasons we clashed.
Whirling & twirling down a chaotic self destructive path.
Too scared to scream.
Too tired to ask for help.
I wish I had listened to you.
As I grow now I remember the guidance you gave me, I cherish the moments of laughter & memories you made with me. I regret the years we missed amidst all the chaos.
Seeing passion & knowledge just flowing out of you.
Taking the time to know you, become your friend as well as your daughter.
I love you Dad with all my heart, I'm just sorry I didn't say it sooner xo.

Little by little I step away from myself
To be true to myself
If only to find myself

Magic exists all around us,
But so little even notice
Or bother to look for it
Angry beings,
Unable to find their own happiness.
Always looking for others to fulfill them
What a way to be
Forever dependent on others
Unable to find a purpose.
Unable to find their magic.

Motionless
Stuck where my world crashed all around me
Rotating through the mundane monotony on autopilot
It's time for a new book, not just a new page or chapter.