The feel of the soft sand
On your feet replaced with pebbles.
Uncomfortable, probably therapeutic.
Read me poetry. Recite it from memory
If you like. I'll be your Juliet. Say it's
Our wedding night. That'd be laugh.

There's a town behind us.
Invisible hand. Economics.
It probably matters to some people
But I don't regard money, I'm a poet
Juliet. I look at the sea. I don't
Understand money. All Greek to me.

Socrates. Democracy. Will you ever
Slow down? Ever understand that
The grey sea is not a metaphor for
Your state of mind, it's a trick of the
Light. Calm down Romeo. You're
Not a poet. You're a wreck.

Kiss me Juliet. Whoever you may be.
Dance a slow dance, against pebbles
Instead of sand. I, your Romeo
Will write you a poem against
The grey sea, sky, state of mind.
It's a shame you're so far away.

Will I ever see your face?
You're so far away. Not
Across the sea. Behind
Me. Three hundred kilometres
Away. Makes me want to
Fall asleep. Fall asleep.

Send me a text Juliet.
Answer me. I'm looking
Out to sea. Good 4g.
Town behind me,
I'm not there.

I'm nowhere. Come to me.
End this sick ballad
Before I fall asleep.
Grey sea. All around me.
**** society. Don't let me
Fall asleep. I don't want to fall asleep.
Don't want to see you drift
Into sea like the old Juliets did.
Sick production. Sick. Sick.
The work of a Philistine. The kiss was forced,
Felt like his Juliet was in
Liverpool. Disgusting place
Until you were born Juliet.
Come to me. Recite poetry
By the sea. This is a sad
Ballad, so much self pity.
Let me be with you Juliet.
Let's run far away before
I fall asleep. Oh life without you,
Makes me want to fall asleep.

All irrelevant in the end,
Love, life, ******.
All there is, is the prospect
Of emptiness.

"I doubt I'll ever love again."
That's what I told her that night
When she showed me out of her
House after meaningless pleasure.

...

When we said goodbye,
You smiled falsely and quickly
Showed me out. I never understood
Why we were so unhappy that night.

When we ******, I felt mediocre.
I presume that you felt similar.
The posture of your body said it all,
You were acting. No genuine emotion.

When we kissed, I felt nothing.
You felt nothing. It was meaningless,
Pleasure without substance.
Ecstasy without catharsis.

When you ripped your dress off,
A moonlight sonata played
From an old radio. You stared.
I stared. I didn't see you at all.

We ran up the stairs,
Almost kissing,
Not quite. You turned
And smiled.

Your house was large,
Almost baroque in style,
Old, neat, precise.
Artificial beauty.

We got out of the car,
We felt a giddy excitement,
Lovers. Eager to
Share a thousand moments.

The journey was almost unbearable,
Longing looks into each others eyes.
Is this love? You said. And I kissed you.
Whispered confirmation. Smiled.

You walked out of the bar
Holding my hand, you called a taxi,
We'd drank too much. You wobbled.
Are you ok? I said. You nodded.

I saw you sitting alone.
I sat next to you. Asked to buy
You a drink. You agreed. You were beautiful.
We talked for a long while afterwards

I was lost in a crowd of people.
Almost suffocating in the reality
Of others. I looked around the room,
Searching for a similar reality.

You seem so sad when you laugh.
I still don't understand why.
I can see mourning in your dance,
When I catch a glimpse of your eye

You look at me in a state
Of desperate pleading
And your closed lips whisper
"Unwanted Euphoria" at every breath.

New order ask you how you feel
Over the speaker in the corner.
You want to answer but can't.
Mouth the words instead.

Adolescent night life
Is so false. You say
Outside. Smoking the **** end
Of a cigarette.

How does it feel to abandon old friends?
To love? To cry? Live a bittersweet lie.
Why did you love her that way?
What did she say

As you stared into her eyes
That night. A long long time
Ago. Did she smile in the way
Lovers do in hollywood?

When we talk you challenge me
In ways I never expected.
You reach into my soul
Like Princess Psyche.

I thought we were all young
And sadly dumb
In the modern age.
You tease. You anomaly.

And yet you still stare at me now
Dancing across the room to
The melancholy synth of new order,
Screaming unwanted euphoria.

Take me outside poet.
You say in unwanted bliss,
Make me draw a pretty picture,
Turn off Blue Monday.

The riverbank in July
Is always a pretty sight.
There's something about
The way the light
Dances with the water.

And there was an electricity
In the air. You could smell
It from two metres away.
Like a virus. I felt a tension
When you smiled.

And then you took your shirt off.
Still don't know why,
Maybe you just wanted
Your skin to feel the symphony
Of the electric sunlight.

That added more complexity
To the smile that crossed your lips.
Fine wine. Onions. Layers.
I had only known you for a week,
Maybe that added to it

When I saw your stomach,
My face dropped, the old
Electric stars in my eyes
Died. Replaced with
Unmissiable scars.

I wanted to say something.
Anything. Even if it was
An "always here"
Borderline cliche,
But at least you would know I cared.

I wanted to scream "**** IT!"
Why are we this way?
How can we allow souls
Like yours to go to that
Place? I felt an ache.

And there is an old
Cliche. That scratching
Scars onto a page
Makes the feeling of
Failure go away.

I finished and said **** it again.
I started at it for a while.
Your stomach filled with scars,
And I almost forgot
That electric smile.