And so I write of love
Thinking it’s the sane thing to do,
     Of over-thinking
Which overpowers the other,
Your love (your past love)
     Or mine.

Everyday seemed like a day after the other,
Only, that they move backwards,
Only, that they grow much painful
As days go by, as nights
     Are even worse.

Nothing hurts
Like a definite goodbye,
Unless it was an indefinite one.
I know for sure
     That I could have you back.

I love you so much that I miss you
And how I struggle
To make you understand
That I only miss you
     Because I love you.

And so my pen tilts from here,
Not knowing what to say,
     Only knowing what to feel.

     And we’re apart...

          We’re once were.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

I remember that night as clearly as the stars did shine for us. Who'd have known that a secret touch and a stolen kiss would lead to such beautiful agony?

A ghost town.
I can't describe it any other way.
The street lights are still glowing even though the sidewalk hasn't kissed the feet of anyone that wasn't just passing through in a while.
I don't know how to draw it out as anything other than abandonment.
The only one left is me, and I am not the best company to the hollow hallways and broken buildings that were left to fend for themselves.
Trust me.
I'm trying to describe it the best I can, but I have no idea how to portray the quiet of an empty home.
This ******* town is full of people, but I'm the only one.
I'm the only one who writes eulogies for the ones that are just passing through.

I don't want to scrub your laugh off of my skin
that it's been embedded in
along with the kisses you planted on my lips
that one day might be bruised
and used to cry for your love
to return to my veins
I don't want to write poetry about our breakup
I want to write poetry about how your eyes love me
and how your hands encasing mine
are the missing puzzle piece
still making my heart skip a beat
when your thumb traces mine
I want to write about all the
demons and angels
withing ourselves and others
and how we are both
mountains and sea
and moon and sun
and how we love each other
endlessly
regardless of if my poetry
can show it or not
I don't want to scrub you out of my bones
I don't want the thought of you to feel like sandpaper
I don't want to shiver
and cringe at the thought of
your love touching me
I don't want my teeth to shatter and my skin to raise
at the thought of your lips
I don't want to cry over wanting you
I want to have you underneath my fingernails and freckles
I want to hold your soul
within my arms
and never let it go
I want to kiss your
every emotion
hopefully healing some wounds
and I'll kiss the scars too
I want to write about how
my love has been
with you since the beginning of time,
how our atoms were created near each other,
that we are from the same star
I wan't to write about how
even in another life
we would find each other
I want to write about your everything
and how I'll love you past my best ability
and sometimes it breaks me
like I'm a piece of glass
from the jar
encasing our hearts together
until maybe one day
they stop beating
I don't want the rhythm
of our heartbeats
to change or stop
but it might
and my cuts will not heal
from the broken glass I call
my heart
but we might stay intact
like the Gods or the stars planned
and if not,
just know that
I love you,
simply

Depression is shattered
plates and dreams
it is the sadness
that morphs into
a dead butterfly
it is complaints
about issues that
don't panic anxiety
but they panic it to panic me
It is sitting in
cold showers
mixing the tears
with the numbness
of the waters touch
depression is misery
that is a safety blanket
and you wish it
was a harsh wound
covered by a non-rip-able
band-aid that you
are itching to get off
and the floors look like fire
but there's no light in the sky
or at the end of your tunnel
and the only way out
isn't available
because you're scared
of something that's
inevitable anyway
depression
it ******* kills you.

eyes feel heavy
mind pounding
with consuming
thoughts that I
wish didn't belong
to me
I'm scared of them
they're rushing
and morphing
me into a giant
headache and
my tears are dry
just like my
exasperated breaths
and I wish
they would stop
I wish my panic
would stop shaking
and heaving
I wish the only thing
I worried about
was nothing
I wish...
depression...
thoughts that
I wish
didn't belong to me

the Heaven's met an angel
named love
he had bright hazel eyes
and a smile sparkling
as a star
his hands were pale as snow
but warm like the blanket
his love wraped me in
the Heaven's met an angel
named love
he read my poems
and they provoked emotions,
raw,
his love
the Heaven's met an angel
named love
and he will never die
his passion will live
through my veins
even if he leaves
to go somewhere
where angels go
the Heaven's met an angel
named love
and I'm glad he's lived
in my bones
and soared through the pits of
Hell---I call myself
and the Heaven is me
the Heaven's met an angel
named love
and they loved