Why can’t I see you?
Why aren’t you there?
Why have you left me?
Why don’t you care?

Why don’t you visit?
Why don’t you write?
Why have you gone?
Why can’t you fight?

Why don’t they tell me,
why you don’t come back?
Why must they worry?
Why must I pack?

Why are we leaving?
Why should we go?
Why aren’t you coming?
Why can’t I know?

Why do you lie there?
Why don’t you move?
Why can’t you come?
Why don’t they approve?

Why won’t you look at me?
Why won’t you walk?
Why can’t you hug me?
Why won’t you talk?

Why are they dragging me?
Why are they crying?
Why do they apologize?
Why tell me about dying?

Why are they hugging me?
Why are there tears?
Why can’t I talk to you?
Why can’t you hear?

Why do they shut you off?

Why do they bury you?
Why can’t you get out?
Why can’t I come too?

Why do they tell me
that you’re not coming back?
Why do they hug me
and whisper and pat my back?

What do they mean you’re gone?
What do they mean you’ve died?
Why can’t I come with you?
Why didn’t you comfort when I cried?

I don’t know what these people mean,
I don’t understand what they say.
I just want my daddy back
I just want him there to stay.

Though they tell me it can’t happen,
They tell me you’ll always be there.
If only in my secret heart,
if only because I care.

I guess that’s enough for now,
until you come back to me.
They tell me that I’m wrong, 
but I know somehow it’ll be.

You’ll come back, I know you will,
and I’ll wait each and every night.
For you to return to tuck me in,
and turn off my bedroom light.

I’ll wait.

There’s pills, potions
but nothing truly can cure my emotions

© Matthew Harlovic

Yellow, Cadmium, Aureolin, Lemon
It's the shades of your true nature.

Sheen, Spring Bud, Bitter Lime, Lime
It's the other side of you.

The day when I met you is Lemon,
Drowning me into the watery trap of yours
Lemon in Water, that's how you cast a spell on me.

Sour, it's the taste of waiting for you
Bitter, you left me rotten and lost
Sweet, it's when you smile to me
Refreshing, the reason why I look forward toward tomorrow
Plain, the black truth behind your kindness
Sour+Bitter, the days when I must forget about you

Lemon, Lime,
I got addicted to your freshness,

Lime, Lemon
You stir me up like a juice,

Lime
Those dream felt so real

Lemon
I should've known, that I never belong to you, ever.

Girl,you're pretty
Now stop starving
just to be skinny

Girl, you're beautiful
Nothing can get down
Now eat that meal till your tummy's full

Girl, your life is precious
Don't risk it like this.
Walk with your head held high
And look at the positive things

Girl, I know it's hard
Near relapses, family
and your inner war
Learn to stay strong
Ignore their taunts.

Girl, remember you're beautiful
Someday someone's going to love you
and fade all of your blues.

Girl, you're you
With your talents
and dimensions
Those models on cover pages will never be you