There’s a window
that gives you a glimpse to my soul
heavily-framed
the sides broken off
because the devil
tried to break in
and steal my innocence
and now my blinds are
always drawn down

drowning in ego,
she tells them lies,
she spreads the evil,
or so she tries

she'd **** for beauty,
and hurt for fame,
she'll make you pity
what she'll never shame

she hides under her bed
and cries herself to sleep,
she wants a happy life,
but she hides what she needs,
though to many she may be joyous
and as many friends she has,
she still needs someone close
which she clearly never had

her soul burnt, charred pieces fell apart,
the flames of the cruel fire seared into her heart,
and what was it made of?
Only what people made of it, as a heartless soul
but she only knew of love and that's all she wanted
until they killed her soul
and buried her ashes.

grown into flowers,
her ashes cried every morning,
they hurt her terribly
but nature has it's consequences

if i could lay out my sad thoughts,
there'd be valleys of it.

it's a new year,
and something i fear,
it may be better
or even worse this year,
let's just pray
that things will be okay
and our families be safe
maybe 2021 won't be that bad

we looked straight at the truth
but only believed it when everyone told us to

The night holds a devious gift
There’s whispers
There’s nightmares
And shadows that shift,

I do feel safe
But not for long
As the nights get longer
The fear grows strong,

Will I be hurt?
Are they out to get me?
I want to feel safe
But paranoia won’t let me.

Every time I turn a page, I expect more
The words fill my brain with pleasure and satisfaction
I can see inside the characters
I can feel what they feel
It’s like an attachment
I don’t want to leave this place
I turn another page
My favorite character dies
It’s sad, but exciting
Then the book ends
And I reach for another
I do it to escape reality
Just for a moment

4 walls around me,
they start to close in,
i'm feeling insane,
i keep remembering
why i'm here,
i'm all alone,
i die of fear
when i should've known,
4 walls they're pulling in,
i've hurt myself
and i can't win

they gather for a picture,
with wide smiles on their faces,
and send the holiday cards
to their cousins and nieces,
"what a perfect family"
they all must think,
but behind the camera
their smiles start to shrink
because they need to stick together
when the family's falling apart,
but the parents get divorced
and the children don't get too far

can you breathe for the both of us?

anonymous poison,
what did you expect?
there's only one reason,
we let you forget,
but your torture and pain,
was just a game,
now it's our turn to ruin your name,
so be prepared,
for what's to come,
the poison that hides,
what you'll become

tears of pain and fear,
of losing you here,
and holding on to you,
was never so easy,
i don't want to let go,
so please don't leave me,
in this dark world
you helped me through,
i need your love and protection
so take me with you

I wonder what it’s like to wake up on a beautiful
fall morning
Walk outside on the crunchy, amber leaves
Not a care in the world, nothing bothers you,
Because it’s hard to feel sad on such a brisk, invigorating,
fall morning

she laughed and cried,
she lived then died,
she walked and now flies,
an angel inside,
her soul made of light,
that the people destroyed,
she was once an angel,
but now a devil employed

time never stopped,
no matter how hard she tried,
she spent every night crying,
and the time just flew by,
she tried to make it stop,
and got sadder by the minute,
but the world just kept moving,
and time had no limit.
the clocks kept ticking,
and the world kept moving on,
but she was still stuck
at the temporary problems that never seemed to be solved.

i throw the object to the floor,
rip out its leg,
and slam it at the door,
cut out its face,
out of anger and rage,
but im still alive,
and the voodoo doll remains,
i scream and yell
and rip it apart,
in attempts of killing
my bitter heart.

statue stand, lean and tall,
i wrote the scriptures after all,
solid history to tell the truth,
i've been here forever,
standing beside you.

a thousand years,
of being watched,
no movements made,
no movements taught,
so we stood here forever
and watched us grow old
but we're made of cement
and our hearts made of gold.

the bright night,
the sad smiles,
the deafening silence,
the living dead,
it never made sense,
but it was the way it was

Thoughts beautifully carved into words that touch the heart,
in a poet’s mind,
what you see is just a part,
of the tangle of feelings,
and trying to find some meaning,
what stays in our minds,
and the ease we seem to find,
in expressing our thoughts,
our thoughts beautifully, carefully, carved into words that touch the heart.

we all fall in a dark abyss
of depression,
leaving out the people who love us,
only to protect them from this gorge of sadness.

i've shown pieces of myself to people
but i never let them see the whole picture

you have to hurt to heal,
there's no other way out.
You have to hate to let go of love,
You have to change to love yourself,

You probably think you know me,
but you only know what you have heard.
you wish to peek in my mind,
but what you'd see would be absurd.

A thousand words I've spoken,
and the billion left unsaid,
the thoughts that spiral through my mind
when I'm trying to go to bed.

The thoughts that left me empty,
and the others that made me cry,
the words that you had spoken,
to slither into my mind.

The sun is shining brighter than yesterday
The grass is greener than ever
The birds are chirping joyously
The puddles splash as the kids jump in it

If only life was as easy as a walk in the park

Should i listen to my fate,
or my mind?

Jealousy is a hideous beast
He hides in the cave
waiting to attack
the innocent ones
and he eats them up
So they become a part of him

living in the future,
i'm thinking about what'll happen next,
my future is up to me,
but my past is full of regret

silver-lined clouds
scream my name,
the moonlight reflects
at the window pane,
the crisp night air
calls me to it
so i step outside
and walk through it

I’m waiting for the days that I’m smiling again
The days when I feel like I’m living again
With my soul repaired,
Not torn, but free,
I’m waiting for the days I can feel like I’m Me.

I’m waiting for a life that feels like mine,
Not two different lives that have been combined,
No more two-faced, no more lies,
A life where I finally mean the words:
“I’m fine”

My father was the devil,
and he asked me one day,
"do you want me to curse the souls of every human that hurt you?"
i replied,
"no, because you'd curse the people i love."

My mother was an angel,
and she asked me one day,
"do you want me to bless the souls of every human that loved you?"
i replied,
"no, because you'd bless the people i hurt."

i'm just a girl,
lost in the sea of others' opinions,
and i think i might drown.

i can smell the coffee beans,
in your breath all day,
the smell of your clothes,
when we met today,
you smelled of tulips,
and heavily of cologne,
i love the smell of freshness,
that you always seem to hold

i guess the window of opportunities
just shut close,
leaving me with no air to breathe,
but just my thoughts and i

my heart drains,
leaves no water behind,
my arid heart,
my love so dry,
someone please water it,
my body remains,
just a dry soul,
that my heart drains

lying on the grass
beside your pretty face,
we laugh at stupid things,
and freedom at our grace,
we're living how we want to,
and then i grab your hand,
to realise it'll never happen,
it's just a thought again

they tell me "be strong, stay resistant,
you should keep up a fight"
but i hide under my sheets at the worst hours of night
i try to be a fighter,
but i do it with my words,
so ill keep writing what i write
in hopes of being heard.

my finger reaches out,
as i touch the sunlight,
and the absence of light,
as it creates a silhouette.
i see my shadow
beside nobody else

we taught ourselves to lie,
and always hide our pain,
the elders keep us locked up,
depression on our chains,
we keep our sadness bottled up,
and cry when we're alone,
so how are we the bad ones,
when we don't know where to go?