Dear Bitter, Broken, me,

To the days that you have longed, but never received
To the days that you have questioned, but never conceived
To the days that you have sought freedom, yet still have not broken free.
To the days you have sought outcome, yet still have nowhere to be.

And to the days you have spent broken and battered; this might set you free

So Dear bitter, broken, you;

Courage, my friend.

Don’t die wondering
It might look like the end
but this is only the beginning.

We have to walk, even though it hurts.
But we can take our time
because I know it gets worse.    

Believe me, I get it.
We’re blinded by what we see, yes I get it.
A moment of silence for those who don’t get this.
I pray to God “can I please just forget this”

But now listen it won’t always be like this
Don’t fall for the words the enemy has prescribed us with
We’re consumed not immune to what we think is true
To the pain we sustain because it makes us feel good

So dear bitter, broken, me;

You’re a time bomb awaiting to break lose.
Confronting yourself wasn’t always the best thing to do,
Aware of the guilt and falsity of disregarding this book
I can’t bare its facts to what seems to be the truth.

I can’t stand this.
Why does it feel like I can never surpass this.
My broken heart and upset mind can’t comprehend
So dear bitter, broken, me is coming to an end

Lured and lusted to internet sociality
Upset and degraded because i’m not what instagram tells me to be
My life consisted of adversity in reality

I’m marked with scars
scarred for every reason that i’m not
Ive died on the inside allowing my outside to rot
It’s me and my sin until death do us apart

or so I thought

I flip the pages of the book of James
And I’m reminded about this love that never changed
But allow me to speak this truth for you
This grace, This love let it pursue you

We out to sought the truth of whether or not this God we speak of has truly existed
And trust me I wouldn’t speak of it if I didn’t already know this.
And it may sound crazy the way I say this but the relationship I have with my Jesus is more than just religion.

Believe me, He gets it.
A bitter, broken me, yes He gets this.

He showed me His scars,
Scarred for every reason I thought I was
Once died on that cross
For the bitter broken me that I once was

Simplicity at its finest
Complexity has no life in this

A love I thought I forgot
Was once reintroduced by the begotten son of God

Taco Bell, my love,
You fill the void in my soul.
Take all my money.

Green, yellow, red, stop.

I walked through a busy market in Paris until I hit a stoplight that left me without the knowledge of misfortune or pleasure awaiting me.

Either way, I'm glad I waited
because moments later here I am staring at what I hoped would be; the one.

I remember you were seated on your pastel blue bicycle,
the ones with the basket in the front carrying a baguette
I mean, how french can one get?

You had blonde hair, you were blue eyed
I still remember what you looked like.
You looked exactly like someone I thought I would never be right by

Face to face
You looked back at me and smiled.

It kinda reminded me of that one story by John Green where this dude named Augustus Waters met this girl named Hazel Grace and he falls in love with her in an instant so on and so forth because

This was something similar.

I didn't know you,
But I felt as if we potentially were operating on the same wavelength,
and I loved that.

It's crazy how only three seconds can paint out a situation that
makes it feel like a lifetime of what seemed to be only pure bliss.

Three seconds was all it took.
Three seconds was all it took for the stars that bled through your eyes to align with mine-
a constellation that only happened once in a lifetime

But who you think you are to me was just a girl riding her bicycle.
And I was just a boy pointing his camera at a direction towards someone of both beauty and of worth.
It was almost as though you were just a vision in my dream as she looked comforted

Yet her eyes stood out as if she had just smelled the scent of coffee.

In perfect constrast, her eyes, they glimmered, they shined brighter than all the stars within her.

But both beauty and worth couldn't comprehend to this feeling.

She was unstoppable and she took everything she ever wanted with a smile.

Red, yellow, green, go.

Three seconds turned out to what seemed to be that moment where time and only time stood still.

Three seconds turned out to what seemed to be three lifetimes.

Three seconds was all it took to imagine what my life would be without you by my side.

L’amour fait les plus grandes douceurs et les plus sensibles infortunes de la vie.

Love makes the greatest pleasures and most sensitive misfortunes of life.