what does it feel like to be held
not by another body
not by a set of limbs, a chest, a chin
but
by another soul

what does it feel like
to see truth in another pair of eyes
instead of hidden intentions
instead of absence

what does it feel like
to hear a familiar heartbeat
resounding next to your own
reaching through skin
through bone
two rhythms
indistinguishable

what does it feel like
to write poems about
a love that exists

Amidst all the volatility
my love for you is the only constant.

To learn how to miss you without wanting you

To learn how to love you without needing you

To learn how to hug you within my mind's confines

would take all the time in the world
     all the effort I could put
           all the tears my eyes could produce

To learn how to love in silence
and pretend that's not the case.

Seeing you for the first time -
you fill me with warmth and affection,
those I pushed away when all was surreal

Meeting you for the first time -
you have a magic wand
and scare away the dragon that instilled my fears

Hugging you for the first time -
you show me the pond
that could easily overflow with all my tears


Us becoming one undermines all our doubts


Your kiss is a drop of water
in my dehydrated mouth

Your hug is the warmth I need
in the icy months of despair

You were supposed to be here now
Our hands intertwined

If only
If only you had dared to love me

To my wife

Sometimes I will come to you in your dreams
as unexpected and uninvited guest.
Do not leave me outside in the street -
do not block up the doors.

I'll enter quietly, sit down softly,
and gaze upon you in the dark.
When my eyes have gazed their fill -
I'll kiss you and depart.

I was sinking in the cloud
searching for you
The birds were chirping
Wait, could it subdue?

I glimpsed you once or twice
in all your glory
I was sure it was love -
like a happy ending story

You poured on warmth on me
Wrapped me up with affection
Us lying, you made the confession

We danced all night
and told our stories

I woke up falling
Hit the ground
It hurt a lot, but I stood up

I saw you there,
at the end of the street
it seemed you had fallen
even harder than me

I approached you slowly,
fixed you with a gaze
I tried to touch you,
but you ran away