Essence below which I lay
on slowly drifting clouds
of stardust, waiting in hope
for my eclipse to pass me by
as you twinkle far above
plastered on my celestial ceiling,
wanting each and every night
to last forever...

do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there, staring at the
same walls
same ceilings
same words
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale,
like there’s no reason to go on,
when you can’t even do enough to fail.
the future is coming, but you don’t want to be in it,
can’t imagine yourself in it.
where you just want to stop.
everything.
and just sit there for a while.
maybe not death, as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it.
when you can feel the rope around your neck,
the razor on your wrist,
the way the pills taste.
you can imagine it, and you aren’t sure if it’s what you want,
or just the feelings you imagine it will give you

society thrives on our self-hatred.
so then to love ourselves,
not despite our flaws but because of them,
is our greatest weapon.

we could be,
the light that never leaves a room dark.
the flowers that never wither under the sun.
the sun and stars that are always in the sky.
the success to every second chances.

the happy ending to every once upon a time.

but we couldn’t,
for you haven’t seen my efforts.
for you don’t appreciate it.
for you can’t accept what’s happening.
for you are blinded by our differences.

for we are too afraid of trying.

think to yourself
and just breathe
take something
to make you feel
above the clouds
past the moon,
past the stars