Something bad happened in 1990 on the 28th of May.
It turned out not to be such a great Memorial Day.
I saw a very beautiful girl who looked like she was sixteen or seventeen.
She was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen.
I wrote a note and put it in her storm door.
She was younger than I thought and her parents were pretty sore.
She was only fourteen, that was four years younger than me.
They told me to leave her alone and I agreed.
But I really liked her and it was painful not to be able to date her.
I wonder who she's with all these years later.

Today is May the 25th and it's Memorial Day.
We're paying tribute to those who fought and died for the USA.
Many brave soldiers gave their lives.
We're paying tribute to the ones who didn't survive.
Many brave soldiers have fought and died.
They were heroes and that can't be denied.

Some call him a ******* and others call him a ****.
But everybody hates that dog that's on Duck Hunt.
When you shoot at ducks but miss, that **** dog laughs.
It makes you so mad that you want to unleash your wrath.

I want to tell you about a discovery of mine.
I've learned how to shoot and **** that canine.
To get the secret, you'll have to pay me $29.99 but that's cheap.
People would pay $1000 to **** that dog because he's a creep.

Every time that dog laughs at you, it makes you shout.
But with my information, you can blow his brains out.
That pesky dog has laughed many times before.
But pay me $29.99 and he won't laugh anymore.

Poor Steve Cash decided that he wanted to die.
When we lose a good person, we always ask why.
He made "Talking Kitty Cat" videos and that was great.
But when he took his life, it was something we would hate.
Steve suffered from a mental disorder and it was a terrible ordeal.
He was Bipolar and I'm paranoid Schizophrenic, I know what it's like to be mentally ill.
When poor Steve took his own life, his fans sure didn't love it.
If I could've talked to him, maybe I could've talked him out of it.
I would've told Steve that life is worth living even if a person is mentally ill.
If you have a mental disorder, I know what you're going through and how you feel.

Jerry Stiller has died at the age of 92, he lived to a ripe old age.
He starred in movies, television shows and also on stage.
Jerry starred in both "Seinfeld" and "The King of Queens".
He also starred in "My 5 Wives", "Hairspray" and "Sweet 15".

In 2012, he provided the voice of General X in "Foodfight!".
He guest-starred on "Rhoda" and "In The Heat of The Night".
He also guest-starred on "The Love Boat" and "Archie Bunker's Place".
Jerry was a talented actor and he was also a credit to the Human Race.

When my friend and I finally got chicks, they decided to leave us.
My friend's name is ****-Head and my name is Beavis.
I thought that I was pregnant even though I'm a boy.
Because ****-head and I are stupid, people get annoyed.

I become the Great Cornholio when I eat too much sugar.
I'm actually a mental case who eats his own boogers.
When ****-Head and I meet chicks, we're sure to sexually harass.
And if you have a teenage daughter, you'll end up kicking my ***.

If you meet us face to face, we're sure to cause great anxiety.
We are both juvenile delinquents who are threats to society.
Don't come near us or you'll get so mad that you'll cuss.
You will be happy and better off if you stay away from us.

This is the eighth Mother's Day that has come around since you died.
You were one of the world's greatest mothers and that can't be denied.
Time flies, it doesn't seem like eight Mother's Days have come around.
Life stopped being as good when you were lowered into the ground.
When the doctor said you would die, I didn't like what he had to say.
You're no longer with us but I still wish you a happy Mother's Day.