A maniac has kidnapped me and he's holding a gun to my head.
He's forcing me to watch the new Doctor Who but I'd rather be dead.
I can't stand the new Doctor Who TV show, why is he doing this to me?
This is a fate worse than death, I want him to put me out of my misery.

I can't stand the political correctness of the new Doctor Who.
I'm begging him to pull the trigger, that would be the kinder thing to do.
I like the new Doctor Who as much as Jerry Seinfeld likes Newman.
Forcing me to watch these episodes is cruel, it's positively inhuman.

If I watch much more of the new Doctor Who, I swear I'll be driven insane.
I can't believe what this ****** is doing to me, how can he be so inhumane?
I loved the classic Doctor Who but forcing me to watch the new is sick behavior.
I want him to pull the trigger and end my life, he would be doing me a favor.

Whenever I buy cigarettes, my neighbor steals them.
I really hate thieves and a part of me wants to **** him.
He sneaks in my house when he catches my back turned.
I threatened to call the cops but he didn't seem concerned.
He doesn't just steal some of my cigarettes, he steals every pack.
He spits in my face when I go to his house to demand them back.
I've asked him time after time to stop but he won't
But the laugh is on him, he has lung cancer and I don't.

I've been good to you and I let you live in my house rent free.
You did something even though you knew it would anger me.
You've really ticked me off because of what you did today.
You came in my house with episodes of the new Doctor Who on Blu-Ray.

You knew that the new Doctor Who show is something I hate.
You don't even like science fiction, you did it just to aggravate.
You're going to take it back to FYE and return it.
And if you don't, I'll take it outside and burn it.

I let you live here for free and I even pay for your food.
I told you from the start that I despise the new Doctor Who.
You knew how much I loathe that television show, you're a trouble making louse.
Return it or I'll burn it and if you do it again, you can get the hell out of my house!

Today, my cat died that I had for nearly six years.
When I found her dead, it brought me to tears.
Animals always bring plenty of joy.
I adopted her in September of 2012 and I named her Boy.
I named her Boy even though she was a female.
It was heartbreaking when I had to say farewell.
It wasn't until she died that I truly appreciated what a special cat that I had.
Boy and I went to Sneedville and spent the last Christmas with Mom and Dad.
She was very pretty and solid white.
She was indeed a beautiful sight.
It's very sad to know that she no longer exists.
Goodbye Boy, you were my cat and you will be missed.

Disney didn't expect it but Solo is a flop.
When it came to ticket sales, the second week saw a 61 percent drop.
In Solo, Lando Calrissian is a pansexual, even robots turn him on.
I'm sorry to have to say it but the magic of Star Wars may be gone.
Certain people are angry because of The Last Jedi.
Leia was ****** into space and she didn't die.
Disney obviously knows nothing about outer space.
Criticism is something Disney doesn't want to face.
Disney thought Solo would be a massive hit but it's not.
Fans are angry and that is what caused the Solo boycott.
If you like The Last Jedi and or Solo, that's okay.
But Disney is very upset, they've had better days.

When I got a job, the boss didn't tell me what he would pay.
That low life piece of **** only gave me three dollars a day.
That **** ******* dirt bag actually thought that I would love it.
Just like the song says, I told him to take that job and shove it.
I couldn't even buy a meal for three bucks.
He got mad when I told him that he *****.
That S.O.B. black listed me so that I couldn't get another job.
When that **** looked in his safe, he saw that he'd been robbed.
What he did made me madder than hell and he soon got the picture.
I may be unemployed but at least I'm twenty-five thousand dollars richer.

As I walked down the highway, I saw a dog that had been killed by a car.
That poor animal had irresponsible owners, whoever they are.
If a person is irresponsible, they should not own any pets.
Even though it wasn't my dog, seeing it dead filled me with regret.
I felt sorry for that poor dog and angry because of the owner's irresponsibility.
The dog was allowed to walk down the highway, the owner is to blame entirely.
Because of the irresponsible owner, that unfortunate dog's fate was sealed.
If that dog would've had a better owner, the dog wouldn't have gotten killed.
If you own any pets, please take good care of them.
Because if you don't, they might die and it will be grim.