people are not
to be saved and
they say girls are
best wild and free
or wild and reckless
but I was always the
cabin with an open
door, an inviting
bed, a warm
hearth, I
stayed
put and
did my life
by the books
still wanted to
s a v e y o u f r o m
something, yourself?
other people? the world?
I see pictures of you and
feel a sense of failure,
or loss or grief or
frustration but
you were
never mine to
save, never a thing
to be saved, never wanted
to be saved, never asked to be
saved and letting you go was akin
to releasing the leash on wild, wild beast.

Don't go, check under my bed.
The monsters are only afraid of you.
Don't go yet. Look into my head.
Where the worst of them live.
The monsters are inside of me.
Can you see them and all the things they do?
They are inside my head, torturing each memory.
At night, I dream that one day I could fly.
That I can escape my head and live in the sky.
The nightmares take over and I fall.
Every night, I am going nowhere.
Maybe if I stay a little longer.
Maybe if I stopped giving a care.
Maybe I can change this strange world of mine.
Gravity pulls me down.
Right when I think I can fly,
I fall to my death.
Who knew it was so easy to die.
But how can I die, when I'm already dead inside?
There's no thought, there's no brain.
Yet again, have I gone insane?
The monsters have taken over my head.
My own thoughts, used to be mine.
So, check under my bed one last time.

There are words inside
Trying to be silent here—
Sneaking past my lips,
They make themselves known loudly,
Reddening my cheeks and ears.