Lightening from a clear, blue sky.
Random firing synapses. Fluttering twitches.
A moment where the eye and I diverge.
Mind rockets in flight, morning or night.
Become a twisted ball of rubber bands. Writhe.
Avalanche of trembles. Lungs in a vise.
Devastating payload of cognitive dissonance.
How long will this horror of nothing last?
Waiting is the worst. Paralysis of time.
     Sitting on a sofa on a quiet afternoon
     Hoping for a large slice of normal, soon.

When the stars cried
And bled a trail of luminous dust
Was it your heart that followed
It's flawed path
Or were it my eyes
That tried to see what was naught

A ring of gold and a milk-white dove
Are goodly gifts for thee,
And a hempen rope for your own love
To hang upon a tree.

For you a House of Ivory,
(Roses are white in the rose-bower)!
A narrow bed for me to lie,
(White, O white, is the hemlock flower)!

Myrtle and jessamine for you,
(O the red rose is fair to see)!
For me the cypress and the rue,
(Finest of all is rosemary)!

For you three lovers of your hand,
(Green grass where a man lies dead)!
For me three paces on the sand,
(Plant lilies at my head)!

Flow down, cold rivulet, to the sea,
     Thy tribute wave deliver:
No more by thee my steps shall be,
     For ever and for ever.

Flow, softly flow, by lawn and lea,
     A rivulet then a river:
Nowhere by thee my steps shall be
     For ever and for ever.

But here will sigh thine alder tree
     And here thine aspen shiver;
And here by thee will hum the bee,
     For ever and for ever.

A thousand suns will stream on thee,
     A thousand moons will quiver;
But not by thee my steps shall be,
     For ever and for ever.

I can feel their gazes
the strange look on their faces
their eyes black and still
and when I look at myself
mine just trace the cracks
I can feel their gazes

the sun heats the ground
my forehead sweats, it aches
I stumble on nothing, I fumble smiles
the sun heats the ground
and I fumble smiles,
and I stumble on
nothing

behind me, behind me
goosebumps, on my neck
under my blue fleece jacket, and scarf,
hands in, and out, of pockets
such inconveniences when I need to hold them
behind me, behind me

the air sings?, flattening each note?
the atmosphere, gets,,, caught,
in my, grasp, in my,,, lungs,
behind me?, behind, me?,
I can feel?, their gazes,
?smiles?, I fumble, on,
?and I stumble on,
nothing

I feel happy
but all I want to do is cry
like I just saw the boogeyman
lurking in between my jackets
and grinning with his
sharpened teeth

With a child on a chain
the name on his collar is
scratched, unreadable
Who?

When I peer from my sheets
all that remains across the room
filled with summer’s breath
I lose my own
He’s gone

The child remains,
back to me,
shivering
but the boogeyman
He’s gone
Where?

Where?
What was I sayi –
Who?
Where?

…

Vasodilation,
Making my skin crawl.

Wander through the window pane,
and paint the way you want.

Wondering why walls wax and wane,
Breathing deep to call my name.

Vasodilation, to the numbing of my brain.