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dad
he left when my sister was only about two, by that time she couldn't even tie her shoes, let alone even understand or process what my mom and dad had gotten into

he punched a hole in the wall of our old bathroom, back in the apartment we used to call home, where the apparition of a man lived that I never truly knew

it was late and I don't even remember him leaving, yet I've grown up with the blame and I have carried the shame of feeling like it was something I did, that I didn't deserve him

he ripped away what I called home and with his violent hands, set fire to everything I loved. His lips spit toxic words that ripped apart everyone of my limbs

i hated him because it wasn't hard not to. He never came around and he never tried to call. He punctured a hole in my heart, one that could never be filled and I've accepted the fact that he will never know me or my favorite color or why I despise him
This is what I know of crushingly reckless beauty in
that which overpowers us like a wild storm at sea
or the impossible mountain;

The Devil is in the detail but God is in the whole picture.
The greatest triumph is victory over your fears. The bravest soldiers battle valiantly a war that goes unseen. Silent tears tares broken hearts beyond normal repair. Desperately gasping trying catch to a  breath of fresh air. Dark clouds hoover over head providing no shelter for security only despair. The lack of faith and hard times has us all insecure of our own selfs. How can I trust you with my heart when I can't even trust my self . The silent screams but no one hears or could it be that people are to selfish to even care.
the best often die by their own hand
just to get away,
and those left behind
can never quite understand
why anybody
would ever want to
get away
from
them
I pick up the skirt,
I pick up the sparkling beads
in black,
this thing that moved once
around flesh,
and I call God a liar,
I say anything that moved
like that
or knew
my name
could never die
in the common verity of dying,
and I pick
up her lovely
dress,
all her loveliness gone,
and I speak to all the gods,
Jewish gods, Christ-gods,
chips of blinking things,
idols, pills, bread,
fathoms, risks,
knowledgeable surrender,
rats in the gravy of 2 gone quite mad
without a chance,
hummingbird knowledge, hummingbird chance,
I lean upon this,
I lean on all of this
and I know:
her dress upon my arm:
but
they will not
give her back to me.
225 days under grass
and you know more than i.
they have long taken your blood,
you are a dry stick in a basket.
is this how it works?
in this room
the hours of love
still make shadows,

when you left
you took almost
everything.
I kneel in the nights
before tigers
that will not let me be.

what you were
will not happen again.
the tigers have found me
and I do not care.
little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.
 May 2016 Quettevio
Queen-Midas
Inhale, Exhale*
Watch the smoke dancing in the light
Inhale, Exhale
Grab the light before it vanishes into the night
Inhale, Exhale
Drowning deep in the ocean blue
Inhale, Exhale
I'm burning too
Inhale, Exhale
Battle scars linger forever on broken hearts
Inhale, Exhale
Wipe your wet eyes
Inhale, Exhale
Let the curtains go up
Inhale, Exhale
The show has just begun
One scar faded away another is just about to show.
 May 2016 Quettevio
Gai
In My Dreams
 May 2016 Quettevio
Gai
In my dreams,
You are mine.
In my dreams,
You held my hand and said
"Don't let go"
In my dreams,
I touched your cheeks,
As I smile and nod.

In my life,
You are not mine anymore.
In my life,
You dropped my hand,
And said "let go"
In my life,
I kissed your lips,
As I cry and go.
Brain suddenly thought of this
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