my tears are getting my paper mask soggy
too close for comfort, it sticks to me
i've tried so hard to find a mask that fits
but i end up with safety scissors and colored paper
cutting and crafting my own face for the day
wake up, brush your teeth, cut a fresh mask
it gets wet and torn by the end of the day
you throw it away
start all over again
once, my paper mask flew away
a flush of pink and a dash of red
what do you use to cover up
the colors that speak so loud?
grow up, grow into the mask you made
grow up, grow into that role you play
don't tell him you miss him
don't tell her you hurt so much
the masks smile and they flutter
in the rain, in the fall
one day, you realize
you don't know yourself at all.

my paper mask never fails me.

who are you when you are no one to anyone?
when your relationships cannot defend themselves
when the night closes in and you are not a daughter,
not a sister, not a friend, not a mother, not a lover.

who are you when your achievements sink into the ground
when your trophies and medals and memories of conquer
melt into ash on the floor, swept away by the breeze.

who are you when you have no first name, no last name
when you cannot show a form of identification
no passport, no student ID, no document that can say
look, this is me, this is who i am, this is my identity.

who are you when no one remembers you?
when you are not even a memory of those you once loved
of those you still love; when no one remembers the years or the hours
you spent with them, talked to them, touched them- who are you?

who are you when you are no one to anyone?
not even yourself.
when the world cannot speak for you
when the world cannot remember you
who are you when you have nothing left;
no one left.
who are you,
when you are no one?

i am in a haze today. it is cloudy and beautiful outside. it is also pressing down on my chest and i struggle for air. i wore your shirt to bed last night and it helped steady my oxygen supply. i wish you were here to say my name and speak to me in my native tongue to remind who i am and where i've come from. i'm forgetting everything, slowly. recreating yourself is only good when you haven't done it five thousand times over. i just want to be me now. but how do i become me if there is no you? pick me up from the library and walk me to class. hold my hand and tell me that you will stay with me no matter how grey the sky is or how cold my fingers feel.

The visitors
A knock on my entrance door, I opened up
and seven people came in one of them looked at me
like she should be in love, perhaps she remembered
me 40 years back in time. The house had been rebuilt
the steps leading up to the second floor were outside
the girl when they marched out kissed my hand
and I thought: am I a pope now?
She looked like the Palestinian girl – unarmed- had been
shot by a female ****** who did this foul deed in
the name of her country she had been told  Palestinians
were out to **** them, the female shooter was defending
her blood dripping country.
I knew the six others too one was my brother
the other my sister and the rest old friends but none
of them recognised me.
The ladder up to the second landing was long I saw
them disappearing into a cloud closed my door I was
suddenly cold, went in and sat by the fire.

We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love