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exactly 54 strangers around me
I counted
and you're still all I seem to think about

I have two word documents open
one about lack of youth voting in politics
and the other about Indigenous people and self government
I also have a Youtube tab open playing "Stay" by Rihanna

my mind is flustered
my heart hurts
I want to cry but I can't

I sit here and think about why you affect me the way you do
I'm almost 100% sure that you're doing just fine
yet here i am, emotionally distressed

your words **** me
but so does your silence
I feel like I can never win with you

I'm truly at a loss for words
because I have come to my senses
I have realized that we are completely two different people

how we talk is not the same
how we show affection is not the same
how we love is not the same

I want it to work so badly between us
but maybe that's the problem
that I want it so bad
and you don't want it eqaully

It *****
but it's the truth
and I'm just going to have to accept it and move on
I'm at school right now, but I can't seem to concentrate.
I am an Aries.
You are a Pisces.

I am represented by fire.
You are represented by water.

I should have known that you would dampen my spark.
I’m too tired
To chase after your love
I’d rather lie down and cry
An ocean
A flood
Rocking so sadly
Rolling deep and blue
A pond
A river
Flowing slowly towards you
A steadily flowing stream
Going straight out to sea
Sinking so slowly
Into melancholy dreams
Undercurrents deep
Yet forcefully strong
In this lonely ocean
There’s nothing to hold on
Sinking so slowly
Into a murky abyss
Where there’s nothing to see
And I don’t exist
He loves me the way
That you loved me
Gripping my jaw
Making me bleed
Shattering my soul
Bruising my skin
He loves me
Like you did
I've found you
In black eyes
A ****** nose
I miss you so much
I'm numb to the blows
He grabs my hair
And asks me why
And I just laugh
And close my eyes
'Cause when he yells
I think of you
And all the things
You used to do
My baby leaves
At 6:45
I pretend I'm asleep
And close my eyes
I love it when
We play that game
Every morning
It's all the same
My baby gets home
When he does
He taught me not to ask
I learned fast enough
My baby loves me
No matter what anyone says
He tells me all the time
In different ways
He broke my dishes
My windows too
But my baby loves me
In blacks and blues
 Feb 2016 Pushkar Mishra
katie
renew
 Feb 2016 Pushkar Mishra
katie
Early hours; the
parts of sleep
     recalled;
          a fly opening
        it's silk cocoon,
   a foetus moving
in a jelly womb,
   irises and corneas
         assembling into eyes
                    eager to explore
                a world outside;
      those first times
when regrets are
               abstract concepts
                             not feelings
                        growing roots
       in subconscious pools;
all the things I'd redo,
              my deepest desire
                              to be anew
Yes-
I would do it all again.
Even if I know now
What I did not know back then.

No-
I would not change the path I took,
There is nothing else for me to chase,

Because my choices lead me here
Into Your loving embrace.
When You  caress my cheek with Your palm,
When You run Your fingers through my hair,
When You  look me in the eyes and smile,
It's the only thing I hear.

When You nod to affirm I'm understood,
When You kiss me before You leave,
When You gently grab my hand,
It's the only thing I see.

When You know how to make me laugh,
When You know the right way to console me,
When You take me in Your arms,
It's the only thing I feel.

There is no need to say the words,
Without them I grasp the depth of it-
I can hear, see and feel
All the love You have for me.
WHY
White.
All white.
The ground, the sky.
Late.
Too late?
To ask myself why.
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