i don't know
how i feel about you
anymore
i just know
that when i am drunk
i am on the phone
telling you
i love you,
still

I'm laying in a field of dead flowers
waiting for them to grow back

I've spent months on my knees praying for a miracle  
I've spent months watering flowers that were already dead

I'm laying in a field of dead flowers
thinking of all that could've been

remembering how they once flourished
remembering all that was done and said

I'm laying in a field of dead flowers
unable to move

to scared to leave it all behind
to tired to peruse  

I'm laying in a field of dead flowers

because there's nothing else I can do

I sneezed my backbone out,
It's okay you didn't have much of a spine anyway.

I know every line on your palms
I know every curve & dip of your collar bones
I know every scar, every cut, every bruise
I know the exact shade of color in your eyes
I know the patterns of your movement -- your touch
I painted a beautiful canvas all over your soul

Then one day we broke -- fell and shattered
& now all I can say is I *knew

because it was your skin and the scent upon it
and the warmth i felt as i embraced your back
and the way my head seemed to fit
perfectly underneath your chin and upon your chest
and feeling you tightly grasp
the back of my head
as you hungered for more than a kiss
the way i think "security" must feel
but you brought me home that night a couple hours later
i'm not getting attached, i promised to myself i know just what this is
i don't think i can play around like this
because i am too emotional and you are too emotionless
and we don't fit
it was just our bodies, the way they moved and pressed
i just can't help but wish i wish it could be more than that

the soft,
farmiliar
fuzziness
of your blanket.
the humbling
wall art
comforting
house
a place
where you feel
safe.

the movie
starts.

walls
become tall
narrow,
you never noticed
the way the
darkness
lingers
in the far back corner
so that you
are never quite sure
of what
could be hiding there.

even after
you turn on the lights
you still
tiptoe
through the hallway
peeking
at every turn
swear
you heard something
swear
it's hiding
waiting to get you
scamper
to your bedroom
lock
the door
fall asleep
with the lights on

little did you know
it appears
when you are
asleep.
lurking
watching your every
toss and turn
waiting
for the perfect chance
to strike.

don't
close your eyes
don't
sleep
it will
devour
you.