I asked her why she cut herself,
and she said,
"Because death has an edge
and life is pointless."
She asked that I not
write a poem
romanticizing suicide,
just a poem about
how hard it can be
to celebrate life.

It is strange how you were drowning and he was the one who needed space

It is strange how he cut you open and you apologised for having bled

It is strange how he broke you and held a grudge against you for falling apart

It is strange how you took 99 steps and he stumbled on one

It is strange how he never had the time to read the poems you left in his mail

It is strange how you could have had the world but you kept settling for less.

Yes, it is strange
how love makes you the person you never thought you would become.

Random dates.
Random times.
Useless words.
Stupid rhymes.

It's not cool being
less than you can be
so I urge you--
urge you--
to be happy.

Because there was a man
who was a clown
and he danced for the children
as they were being lead
to the gas chamber.
And it was 1943.
And it was
**** Controlled Germany.

The clown wept,
each time the lever
was pulled
and when the children
became silent.

To stop crying,
he told himself
that existence
is just random dates
and random times.
There was no meaning
in reason
and no order
in lines.

All he could do
was all he did know,
and that was to give
happiness
before they'd go.

You could not help but fall for her
Despite warnings from every cell of your brain
You could not contain
Your curiosity
How could someone be
Different shades of different emotions
At the same time
How could someone go
From being the blazing sun
To a violent storm
In the blink of an eye
And that was the trouble with her
You could not tell the next thing she does
And there were many with a prettier face than her
And a few with soul more tender
But none that could stir
A single emotion
While
One look from her
Caused ripples in your soul
The longing she developed
Became insatiable
Cause she was not the caresses and soft kisses sort
She would make sure you meant
Every compliment you uttered
Before she accepted them
She would ask why
You loved her
Instead of saying I love you too
She was never just simply pretty
You know the kind you put on your shelves
For a show
She was not just one element
but the whole package
Something you had never witnessed before
She had fire
Her  feelings weaved silent poetry
All around her
And everyone who saw her could see that
Everyone but herself
Her thoughts were too loud
-loud enough to make the deaf-toned world hear them
She was reckless personified
Descending towards nothing
And you would gladly go down with her
If it only gave you  few more moments to have her look into your eyes
Black eyes
Not seeing at you
But through you
Making you unravel yourself
She could not be bound to a place
She was the wind
that ruffles your hair
caresses your skin
and sweeps your tears off your cheeks
and fly away
just like that
leaving you fixated
on that spot
waiting for her to hit you again
but she is already gone
You never wanted to love her
Yet here you are
Loving her anyway.

Kiss me
Cause I'm sure
The stars would taste better
Shine brighter
On the tip of my tongue
And baby, you are the whole galaxy

Hold me
Cause I'm sure
Only your touch has the fire
To keep me from freezing
And baby, our bodies are the only heating appliances I'll ever need

Breathe me
Cause I'm sure
I could be more addictive
Than any drug you'll ever inhale
And baby, let us give our touch receptors the sensation of their lives

The brown of your eyes
Became my favorite shade
A familiar place
But I'm no longer the one they behold
So goodbye to them

Those pink lips that you have got
Perfectly shaped
Complimenting your light skin so well
But I'm no longer the name they seek
So goodbye to them

The heart beats fluttering so fast
Sweet lullaby
Keeping the nightmares away
But I'm no longer the sight they dance at
So goodbye to them

The long fingers of your hand
Intertwined with mine
Made the strangers stares seem less hostile
But I'm no longer the person they reach out to
So goodbye to them

The warm smiles of yours
Imprinted on my mind
Spreading across my face
But I'm no longer the reason behind it
So good bye to them



I wish
We had met up in sky
Far from the boundaries of this world
I would be yours, you would be mine
Our shadows merging into one

But

Now I have learnt
There is a bridge too large,
A boundary too long
For either of us to bridge
So I'll love you from a far

With an intensity of
Million burning stars
Much more than she is ever capable of
But nothing can change the fact
I'll never be with you.

Tell them about the time you spent your day looking for a rock to live under, tell them how your soul seeks an understanding that is nowhere to be seen in his eyes.
Tell them about the time you stuttered while talking to the guests your mum invited
How you kept wanting to say sorry cause that Is the only emotion you ever feel these days
Tell them about the time you laid on your bed all alone
Seeing nightmares with open eyes
Tell them how everyone that left and everything you love
Comes back to haunt you every night
Tell me how you stopped talking to your friends
To avoid their snap out of its
Tell them about that one time your teacher asked you where do you see yourself in 10 years and
You imagined yourself rotting in an abandoned house
Tell them how you feel like an abandoned house; a graveyard where people come and bury their broken dreams and forget to re-visit
Tell them how you try to give everyone what they want and at the end of the day when you are alone
You just don't know who you are or who you want to be
Tell them how you can't remember how or why it went this bad
But only that no one helped you prevent it
Tell them how the only thing you can do from falling apart is
Write these gibberish talks
Tell them how you wonder if you are that good at putting a facade
Or the number of damns they give is dwindling
Tell them how you think it is the later
Tell them how you feel so hopeless when you hear your parents talk about what is wrong with you
Tell them how you think you doomed them by walking into their lives
Tell them how what once was can never be that way again
And how every time the wind blows you feel it tearing you apart at the very seams of your being
Tell them how you are more cracks than skin
And how
Everything they say
Or everything you had drained out
Now you are just a void.

There is something to be learnt from
the trees that let go
Of autumn leaves so silently: no grudges, no scorn
It is nature's way of telling
Parting is the price we all have to pay for love.

There is something to be learnt from
The leaves that hit the ground
After being held so high
It Is nature's way of telling us
It has never been about the fall
But how gracefully we do it

There is something to be learnt from
The empty sky at twilight
How it bleeds every time the sun leaves
Yet it tries to find solace in those thousand little suns
There is always something to be grateful about.

More scars than skin
More nightmares than sleep
More sighs than words
More darkness than my inner sun can handle

A word i can't seem to remember
A feeling i can't evade
A home whose address i have forgotten
A grief that i always carry with myself
A sleep that forsakes me till late hours
A dawn that breaks a wink too soon
A flower that just won't bloom
A thorn that never falls
A sun with its light too dull
A moon too bright
A smile that never reaches eyes
A frozen tear that never melts
A melody of my mother long erased
A horrible selfdegrading voice that won't leave my head
A silence that keeps storming
A storm that silences all our hearts' pleads
A you i can't seem to stop writing about*
A me that never crosses your mind*

-A.K.