Effortless it used to be,
now it's a constant strain
You used to be on the same page with me
now i wonder if we are even a part of the same story?

How rude of days and nights to pass completely oblivious of our pain
How audacious of me to think it was you who the stars  told me about

Closest you used to be,
now there is always an unseen barrier in between
I used to be your home once
But now I'm just a noose you cant free yourself from

How rude of me to say "it's been a tough day" for a year now
How thoughtful of you to pretend it's not because of the sweet nothings you have been feeding me

A day dream turned to reality, you were
Now i realised some things can only be loved from a far
I used to wish your hands never leave mine
But now i just wish you happiness, no matter who you choose to share it with

**How rude of stars to be so out of my reach
How tragic of our story that they are closer to me than you'll ever be.

You are the only antidote to the pain you caused
But like everything that could save me
You just ended up tearing me out
And i was hoping you would come
before there was nothing left to fix
And you came
but i was already gone
now this shell of the girl i used to be
remains to remind you of what you have lost

You were the only escape i had to these tragedies
that laid scattered all around me
but like everything that could have helped me
you were a bit too out of my reach
And i was hoping you'd take a step to bridge the gap
maybe you did
but it was a bit too late
i was already in too deep
to ever surface again

You had the touch that could keep me from falling
a million suns in your soul that could unfreeze me
but like every hope, you chose to forsake me
And i kept hoping and praying you'd see
how The cold kept burning the life out of me
maybe you would have, maybe you did
but life had already left me
never to come to me
again

You are gone for excessive hours
And i know you dont mean to come back
But you do, you take a while but you always do
A part of me know you will
But there is a bigger part knowing one day you wont

You used to love the way i wrote about you once
Now you just want me to stop
And although my lips never move, my heart keeps begging you to come back
While my friends beg for who i was before you left to come back

Your ears used to love the sound my lips made
When i said ily and reached for you in my sleep
But the day you left the sun rose too early and my ilys turned to please come back
and it was then when the sun set in my eyes, never to rise again

You once said there is hope; there is a light at the end of this tunnel
And i was taken back to the time when i saw you smile
I thought the end must be near
But now you are gone and now this tunnel seems never ending
Owing to the darkness, nothing is all i see

You kept saying there is more to life than us
I nodded and said there is more to life than love and there is more to love than you
But you were my sun and my moon
Now i am left with the stars that will never stop spelling your name.

You begged and ordered me to stop reaching out
for someone who is not even there
It was my helpness that said-I have been trying to let go
But im not sure if my hands remember how to
Or my heart

A thousand way to love
A thousand people to fall in love with
I chose the one that was most unlikely
i chose the one that, i knew in the end, will destroy me

A thousand pretty girls
A thousand you could have easily had
but it was me who chose you
and it was me who loved you back

A thousand roads
A thousand options
not a single one
that will lead me to you

A thousand pain
A thousand reasons to give up
Love has limits
heart know nothing of

A thousand tears
A thousanf relieves
I have got them all
but without you, I have nothing

**A thousand star-crossed-lovers writing
a thousand poems in this moment
One of them is me,
my muse being you, always

It was when you held me
I realised i could feel
For that i bitterly thank you
For ever since, i have been craving for your love
Your touch

It was when you loved me
I saw the relevance of a the metaphors that I've been writing
For that i bitterly thank you
For ever since, i have been staying up late
Trying to find metaphors to describe how you make me feel

It was when you touched me
I made my home in your skin
For that i bitterly thank you
Since you left, the homeless people get up and offer me their seat
Every time i pass by that lonely street


It was when you ran your fingers on me
I, for once, felt complete
For thar i bitterly thank you
Since then i have been looking for myself
in the things that carry your imprint

It was only when you called me beautiful
I did not feel like the dust that settled on a beautiful thing
For that i bitterly thank you
since then not a single reflection of mine exists
that has not been cringed at

You're the muse behind my every song
You're what connects this body to its soul
The darkest of nights find its dawn in you
You are the eye of the most ferocious storm

Oh, love i think it's time
Oh, love, won't you be mine?
Oh, love, can't you just see
I want the world to see you be with me

You're the goosebumps i get in the middle of the night
You're what the stars have been telling me about
The shyest of flowers bloom at your touch
You are the hope that keeps the fragile thread  by which my sanity hangs from breaking apart

Oh love, I think it's time
Oh, love won't you be mine
Oh, love, can't you just see
I want the world to see you be with me

You are the brokeness that heals itself
You are the words that i have been looking for all along
The most endurable concrete cracks and sprouts where you walk
You are the love that only results from a great deal of suffering

Oh love, I think i it's time
Oh, love won't you be mine
Oh, love, can't you just see
I want the world to see you be with me

Do your  parents wonder, why you take time to open your door?
How you cannot wash their dead daughter's blood off your bedsheet
Go tell them how she bled to death for someone who would not even look her way or do anything to prevent it lest his hands get bloodied

Do they ever wonder why there is no mirror in your room,
or notice how you cringe at the sight of your reflection as if you've seen a ghost And how that is the case exactly?
Go tell them how your own shadow scares the wit out of you,
as if it is mocking you and soon will reveal your dark secrets to them.

Do they ever wonder why you have so little photographs of you?
Go tell them your face reminds you how you turned into everything you said, You would not when you were a kid; how you are just a pile of unsaid goodbyes, abandoned building, shattered dreams stitched up together by skin you dont feel comfortable in.

Do they wonder, why your hands are often on your ears as if you are trying to block some loud music only you can hear
Go tell them how his words keep replaying in your mind.. how he told you so many "truths" that you no longer know which version to believe in

Do they ever wonder why you have no friend or why you keep staring at the wall and yet your eyes appear to be seeing right through everything?
Go tell them you are looking at his eyes turning colder by minute, till you don't recognise who he is; that he has seared goodbye in a place inside you so deep that you send your friends in love,  packing bags long before they plan to leave.

Do they ever notice how you cringe when they attempt to hold your hand or hug you?
go tell them how all the times you were let go still echo through your skin,
how you always acted like a filler? how every one you loved had their eyes set on their destiny and you were always traffic

do they ever wonder, why you always seem more restless at night? Or, how they never find you asleep?
Go tell them how the future that you could have had but did not haunts you every night, How you think you have enough time but then you blink and suddenly you are all out of it and you ask Him for 5 more minutes but he just shakes his head.

Be yourself, he said
But the problem is i dont know how to do that without having the world know how much i love him

Maybe we never stop loving secretly, those we once loved out loud

Be brave and let go,
But the problem is i am not sure
if my hands remember how to
Or my heart

Maybe we never get over, we just become everything that breaks us

Be wise and accept
You are not the first, and you sure as hell wont be the last

Maybe the best i can hope is that out of all the things you regret, I'm the one you loved most

Be grateful, and dont sulk
Make a blanket of stars and lie down in the Earth's arms

Maybe these cold nights are there to avenge me for the times i reached out to you to keep me warm

Be still and let yourself heal
But is there any cure for memories of you and me

**Maybe some pain never ceases to be, some loss you can never compensate

I dont want you to write me poetry
I can do that for both of us

I dont want you to compare my eyes to sunset
Or, my mind to some sea of undiscovered depth
I just want you to see me for who im-
Dully ordinary in all my deeds

I dont want you to be breathtakingly handsome
We could be too cute for two ugly people

I dont want you to speak all those fancy big words
And get me a bouqet of rose every night
Just be there with me, be my light, when all i see is in shades of blacknwhite
And on the brightest day, tolerate my lights if i outshine you

I don't want you to understand each action of mine; to decode every word
Just promise not to give up on trying; never give up on me

I dont want you to fix me
Just be patient with me while i glue back all that is left from my last heartbreak
I might run in opp. Direction at your approach
But ill always find my way back to you

I don't want you to give me forevers and mouthful of nevers
Time is a ****, as we both know*

If you can and if you may,
Just love me in this very moment
Cause forever is nothing but all these moments stitched together

I dont't want you to tell me you love me
But please, just do love me

they say
he must be lucky
the guy who gets to have me
and i just look in your eyes
and see the hell i have put you through
they fell in love w my words
but i wonder do they know
that this is not beautiful
all these words may make depression look pretty
but it is not
it is not easy to be w a girl
who wants to crawl into the tiniest space of you
and make her home there
it is not easy to be with a girl
who makes you her air
it is not easy to see her
cringe at her own reflection
it is not easy to love her
when all she has is hatred for her self
it is not easy to look at her
when you read her poems about how she wants to peel off her skin
till nothing of her remains
it is easy to say
he must be a lucky guy
lemme assure you
he is not
im not blushing cheeks and perfect smiles
Im not about classy looks and vintage dresses
im like the storm and the only way i know how to show my love is to destroy
it is not easy to talk to her
when she replies in proses and riddles
it is not easy to hold her
when one moment she is warm and cuddlable
and the next she is spitting fire
it is not easy to tolerate her
when one small mistake and
it has already been
carved as a poem
it is not easy to survive her intense gaze
it is not easy to look back into her eyes
when she is looking at you w too much emotions contained in her eyes
too strong for you to take
she is everything
or nothing
or both
at the same time
she is every shade of every color
simulataneously
Ill overwhelm you
or i can make you question your own existence
cause i dont know any other way
to love
than to make you my all
and to be your all
ill love you w a passion
you have never seen before
but can your feeble heart
take it?
do you think
your calculated actions and diplomatic decisions
will help you then?
you may be fooled by my smile
and my gentle voice in which i talk to you
but there is a lot to me
than what meets your eyes
there will always be more to me
than you ll know
and you may think it is easy to love me
but it is not
you are a dreamer, you are in love with the idea of me
while you remain oblivious of
all the stories behind the words i have not yet written
and the words you ll never see.
It is effortless to fall in love with a poem
but being with a poet is a totally different thing
don't you now agree?