Its all in the pupils
His eyes 100 shades lighter than mine
Will they dilate? in my mirror looking through the glass

Shedding skin beneath her bones, hard to feel nerve endings.
Why does he choose to stroke my vertebrae when I'm obtuse
Acid reflux and the Venus retrograde, rules Taurus I wanted you
Yet, we are to separate to be intoxicated

Gggggggggggggggggg

Appears so easy, for u to read binary on finger tips.
& u always greet everyone with a lie,
Lie like smile
Google voice, tripping-salamander tail ready to grow.
Lilac lips, black eyes, 2000 words a minute,
Seems so easy for u to smell blood through skin.

I'm high
So high
So high I barely feel the alcohol
So high my teeth are grinding into each other, I can hear their gnawing bone through my skull...
So high I'm flexing in-&-out of 5 of cups/5 of swords feels
In-&-out of 9 of cups/ace of cups feels
I don't want to sleep
I'm not sure if I want to speak to anyone, yet the thought that everyone is dead to the world makes me slightly sad

I wish I had a body like an instagram model. I wish I had an unlimited supply of molly.
Now I wish I had a car.
I'd drive 80mp into the middle-of-not-here
I'd listen to jointy, artful goth techno.
I'd continue to wonder if there is anything to patch up the hole inside-just right.

My head-space searching for things to sew in the fear or guilt.
Your peers think you're a ******* freak.
They think youre a toxic idiot.
They think youre homely and annoying.

Drive faster.

You don't give a **** what they think!
You know that if any of these people, that hardly know you-think any of that. It's exaggerated and unimportant.

Turn the volume up.

Nothing is real. Really.
Everything is a choice and decision.
You're deciding to be happy. Better than ok. Better than anything.

Thousands of days spent before. Rocking backnforth. In your bed. In the corner on the floor. The bathroom at work.
None of this terror is news. And none of it was ever enjoyable. So why the **** do you entertain it?
You remember joy. Peace of mind.

You're in control.

I really like this song. Volume higher. Alone in the boondocks. I'm alone in the darkness. The only sign of life my heartbeat&breath.;

terror to rejection. Always glancing over your shoulder. To maintain perfection. So you don't get clipped. So no one else abandons or abuses you.
You keep your heart in plexiglass.
Cloud your eyes from the opportunity to be vulnerable.

But can you trust?
I pull away. To discern contrast. To discern how I really feel.

You still choose a plan B. You can't seem to release that.
You need to find your self love. Recover it. That which has been taken from you-before you had the chance to cultivate it.
Self certainty.

I need the potion. So I never forget this cyclical pep talk.
I keep looking for that potion in *****, drugs. Positive reinforcement from others, outside of myself.

I'm so high. I need...
I need....
I'm alright.
I'm ******* happy.

Sometimes I'm eloquent
And quick
And clever
Thinking on my feet effortlessly
Sometimes I'm awkward
And twitchy
And quiet
Throat stuck in itself
But I'm worth it dude...
I have something worth your time
The feels when you want to *****
Shiver down my spine
I'm alright

Yell at the girl
She's got a brain, I feel scared beyond repair
Yeller at the gurl
Her face melted into red tones of paint all the way...
This baby
This baby
It melts

He said he'd prefer a rifle, and **** pistols
I knew he meant it he didn't know he did
And partially blew up my heart
I'm not a deer in the woods
Jumping salmon
I don't wair neon orange
Hunting is not a sport
Nothing is not a sport
Don't you think anybody else has the capacity for pain as you do
Partially blew up my heart

That building's windows look like a disco ball under a microscope, I know there are people in there.
They might be a little sad, a little happy
Maybe a little drunk
I wish they wanted to love me
And I them.

Can i find a place to stay,
Put it down, the knife put it in the kitchen drawer
So seriously
Dreaming about 10 years ago
Dreaming about you, even my brain wont let you go
I despise needing a mirror to leave the house
Put it down, the gun put it in the dresser drawer
So seriously
How about vacationland-is to be a home
And me seeing you is to be a holiday

Its ok to suffer
I cant believe, the rain..followed me
It used to follow us
Parallel passengers watched the dozy spit roll down a cheek
Trees and trees, as if their existence had been a myth
Legs folded behind a seat
Monotonous sycamore, there is mothering pine, a city in contrast
I cant believe, the rain..followed me
It used to follow us

I break the glass, it shatters when I put it down
So fragile things like boiled bat wings
You cannot bash your head into a window a million times and expect one not to break

I make my bed, the other day many others
Satan was here to stay, maybe im not meant to push him away
Angry little birds buzzin with their heads cut off
I hear you screaming in my life path for 6 months past
I hear you enjoying your little pain puppet
Fill her up and destroy, ignorance can be the best killer
I finally hope that you feel the weight of who you are

Mixing blood blood dont mix well
Just say it
Admit it
Mixing blood dont mix well
Just say it
Just admit it
You casted a spell
Wanted it to go to hell
Mixing blood blood dont mix well
You casted a spell
Wanted it to go to hell
Just say it
Admit it

Night and day
Why does it seem like everything i say
Causes a problem..
Night and day and...afternoon weekend
Dream like salt solvents and bath salts 2 slip in a dreamy place
Make it a chance for you to blend the water colors in between the sheets
Stabilize the watery commitments

He ****** on the floor, the carpet felt warm
He ****** out the window....
Tonight is the reason, were leaving tomorrow
Hello fear of alienation
Her breath smelt of elitism and porous opulence
I hope you like the **** i hope you know i didnt do it

Im not gonna...allow you to starve me
Every bone in my body has been taken
So I went on a wild goose chase, recollected all the parts of me
Im not gonna...allow you to starve me
Im not gonna allow you to starve me...
Treacle in quick sand, the muddy eyes in water
Every thought is too hard to picture now
Im not gonna allow you to starve me..

And shes decided her heart is broken,
Have you decided what the token is
Put the golden medal of sorrow around your neck
As she wanders around town looking for stories to tell about backstabbing and the man is elusive, who accepts her self centeredness
She was never my friend
Has she decided her heart is broken
Has she decided which token to carry

This a witch hunt, they did say I was a witch
Perfect the kitty purrs, wanting to rip me to shreds
You know...
Youre not strong enough
It echos in my mind, the words to hear only
This a witch hunt, they did say I was a witch
Man just burn the *****...
Man....
Just burn the *****

Expecting you to love, like I do
Well im expecting you to understand all the time and the focal point that of which is the same
How can i understand how to be selfish
Apologizing too much when I havent, yet heard the words to stop
Bleeding in my dress
Can we please stop being bitter apples dropped from a tree
All that I need is for you to say, its all ok..

Gold nuggets to find them buried behind the garden shed
I drink my guests up, to make feel, sure they keep a loose mind
I dont think im all that special bae...
I drinknmyselef up to keep a..

You get to break stuff
You get to apologize and break it again
Because god is my mother and satan is my brother
Well you dont get to break him
And you dont get to apologize and break him again
Because god, he dont crack and satan, is his father.

Dramamine colds the soul, with or without any holes
With life has become something of another one
Wanting mass appeal yes and..soul appeal yes and
So I choke onnmy breakfast cereal
Conductive thoughts become real
You know you come up with, the best shitcuz youre sad sometimes

Here's to manifest
I'm, sick and tired reading your over complicated diagrams
Clink my drinking glass, if I want it now
Than I should have it
Than I have it
Blah blah....stop reading the rules to me...

Can I have friends?
Can I really talk with you till the end
You know it's only cuz I admire you
Can the serotonin stay

Love wants to find a limb to rip off
Can I find a source to feed on cuz my lemon meringue is too stingy
Love I wanna cry, at the crimes have I really done nothing wrong

Naisin and water too walk through
Maybe it's juxtaposed
I'm feeling re ****
And the ripples my neighbors listen to me screaming
A song
In the soil, whether to laugh or whether to wail
Birds always migrating back to love, you're all I want

Call you but no inspiration to
I quit my job, free time and what to do
Cider I like how it makes me hyper
But will I lose my looks?
Yeah I'm from maine I can't deny it any longer
But I long for those lonely roads and suspicious people

Hidden doors the path preaches
pyramids amongst sand dunes
white boy with feminine green eyes
Everybody wants *** with everyone

Trust you with a holy sword
I know it's sharp but please Lord, I come with a smile and crossed fingers behind my back
I'll let em go when I can see the weekend last forever...and ever
Don't go when I am el nino

The evolution, and when the bones come
Greying leaves no they become red fire and then ashes...
I saw the snow melt and then maybe rain in the plains again
I saw roses sprinkled with honey dew
Perspiration in the air, hot like a sauna and would love to live bare foot...

Pixaleted picasso pictures of people
Meeting a low sun day
I prayed to God all night, with tears and coconut oil make up remover
S/he answered like a beam of lightening warming the heater in me with peace
I dreamt of a little invisible demon, whom enjoyed stabbing housemates with a sword and stealing crystals to feed his lord
I prayed to god and they answered through my blood and I always said yes

Flush the blood clots down the toilet
No *** for 2 weekends in total
Flush the wilhem screams down the ear drums
Every neighbour must love to hear them
He might be more excited the more time he spends a away from me
All the interesting sounds that come from me

I wished for everything I can think of when i stand with a bunch broken flowers in my hand
Hours I stare, times left me, thank god
Thank God times left me
Would it be easier to see through the looking glass
Would it be easier if I tried harder to control everyone in my path
Smile at me and crack the whip

Cannot come through
So the soaking of you and I cannot help it
When I want the displacement to drop, and my urge to consume
And consume
My mouth
My mind
My body
My time

Paint teeth in a coconut gauze
Ready to play with pain and panic
Why is it so dull down on the clouds
I think I want something beyond the sheepskin reality, my wolf needs to breathe
They told me she's evil, the 1 inside
I can't play Jesus
He wouldn't want me to anyway

If its really easy
than why does my usb drive faster than i can catch up with

I'm lighting the roses for a ceremony i wish you could be there
all feet steps to this always thought of a ***** kiss
is
nothing
like this is
and what was a friendship to me is no longer
I'm lighting the roses for a ceremony
i wish you could be there..

Letting it out to breathe, carbon monoxide detectors bleeping as smoke fills the moon
As it's ugly and I've already bared it
With ****** lips, my cranberry watch kiss
It is obvious too much
Wanna turn the projector screen on me
All of my insecurities on my face
Every word I ever said
Already..

I don't wanna cry for myself but, the body is a exposing mass of emotions,
Its a hole in my solar plexus and it's building up to my heart
I'm a sensitive one and I can't help it
But I do blame myself for it
I don't want to cry for my myself but,

Being the fourth step, I had to step in **** just to cross the bridge
He doesn't feel as much about this
Can this be really real, that I'm one of those whatever's...
I am sorry
I know
I know
Forgive me maybe, I guess you feel strongly about this and I feel slightly ashamed
Ok maybe a lot, when I perch upon that old vibration
Of what is
And what is not ok
Ok
I know

Its just a reflection of myself
beating myself up for
Being myself

I believe in a one beer drunk

Forgotten art of demonic friendships
With baddie caddies and the absent  masculine control of the black liquiline emotions
Pooled around a hair mask, it stripped away all the gaudy binds
The devil is really a concept that one should never be denied

Fleas dangle like a headdress
So I'm mangled, apparently strange eyes photograph perishable projections
Unless held consistent under undilating microscopy
Heart peeled open wide, in the furthest wingspan
I applied gauze before and badly washed
Breath now and it breathes now
Thank God

The heart right here is a quaking massive bubble
Keep the level head isn't going to be my devil right now
I press my fists to my knees, caps tightly clenched together
I'm cold so I sneeze out the fear right in front of me
They like to **** with pins and needles
But my head isn't going to be my devil right now

Fuuuiiiuiiiiiiiccccckklkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk(kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk­kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiin­nnnnnnnnnnmgggggvvvvvgfuck

Chewing on plastic
Milk maid curd, her currents slowly load torrents
My mind wheel churn, my teeth count the burns
This heavy music feels me with fillings
*****
He felt
*****
It hurt as a child

Crossed country with the reasons
there was the level of identification with the fracture
and held tight by the shirt, the mind with the mangled heart
screaming
"I created it!"
"Its mine!"
The glass half empty told by gods a little more established therein
The glass half empty is pragmatism
so the god transformed
With the swirling
& The swirling
How does joy become old
But fear becomes brand new once administered
So the god transformed
The staples flung out the mangled heart
Thin iron twisted, getting lost in soot by corners of rooms with hardwood floors
And it screamed
"I created it!"
"I'm ******* freed of it!"

Fallopian draino
I sank into the cushions of demure and sell by date tumors
I press google send, topic in search
Leftover pancreas feelings
Could you believe in monsters just for me
Because i can't handle the potion
I couldn't handle you pressing repeat on your keyboard