I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.

If I was to sit here and tell you my pain we’d be here for hours,
Pain is inevitable,
For some endless,
For me a darkness and lingers in the back of my mind waiting for a moment to envelop me in a blanket so heavy I have no way out,
I have to wait.
For someone outside that darkness to just whisper my name so I can swim up and just breathe.

This darkness is wide,
Even as I cry out to this darkness it has no sympathy,
My pain is mean,
Heartless,
My struggle is its joy,
My hurt is relief,
My sorrow is a sweet aroma to the stretch of my happiness,
Yes, I smile. A lot in fact,
But is it real?
I’m the best actress you’ve ever seen,
My smile is laced with the pain; darkness; hurt and sorrow that you will never see so, please!

Allow me to grieve for the happiness I can’t feel. I forgot how it feels, it’s numb but pain...
You’ve all but won.

i hid behind a mask everyday,
my true emotions unseen,
i smile at you with crying eyes,
but you could never notice that.

after all these years my mask started to fade,
that porcelain smile turned to dust and blew far far away,
anger
sorrow
...fear all now on full display.
what about your happiness?
it flew away.