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Pax May 2017
A piece of my heart
has been sliced
to where its been crushed
to blend
something new.

I've grown to
understand
the big sea
to where I was
afraid of being aware
this might
happened
.
.
.
then, it already has
as so I let it be
for a time
that I never forgot
nor forgive
what they
did.

I know my flaws
are evident,
it is what makes
who I am, 'not perfect'
as I improved,
honed and
proved to feel
the understanding
of the big sea
but it doesn't mean
you can freely capture
someone's heart
to tear apart,
*a sincere poet
never steals the
life of others.
Not sure where to start, as to the poem itself speaks volume, I've been away from writing because of my busy schedule when i came back i found out that one or two of my work are stolen. I was never really a great writer to begin with as to i wonder why they would steal from me. And there's also stories that uses my quotes without crediting me, sigh... Perhaps this is the reality. sad, disappointed and distraught to myself, but everything is a risk, so posting in all writing/poetry sites, your words are bound to be stolen when someone liked it without you knowing it. sigh.... "i write not!" was one of the stolen.
Pax May 2017
I've left my feelings
unanswered.
just a quick shout out, short but it says what is just needed to say. Less but not much. Sorry for being away, its seems like i just bottled up my feelings yet again and stow it away to be a faded unanswered feelings... sigh...

i hope everyone(my literary friends) are well...

thank you for reading...
Pax Apr 2017
I've driven myself in
to the valley of deserted
Tears.

To where it's too hot,
while living is an isolation.

There's no river nor
lush forest around,
its as dry as the desert
sands, then humidity
strikes your nerves
that you'll feel
overcooked.

The crimson sky
Bleeds of its inking
Beauty...

I on the other hand
solidify my strength
to ease the burden
I carry, as i lift myself
Little by little towards
A meaningful step
For SURVIVAL!

© pax
I wrote this as a means to remind myself for the beauty of life.
Pax Apr 2017
I don't want my life to be
amazing, i just want it
to be happy...
Aren't we all want this? there are some happiness that are short, some takes longer, and some never arrive at all. There are some happiness that  are amazing or simple - big or small... I guess my happiness didn't arrive yet, as i am a late bloomer or very much reserved to the point of being afraid... im still overcoming that.. this thought/quote sprang to mind thinking i don't want an amazing life, with all the luxury or many amazing achievements, i just want to be loved and to love back in the simplest way of life, but i guess its still too much to asked. :(
Pax Apr 2017
I write not because i seek your truth,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all the doors we see.

I write not because i seek your pity,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all tough roads we
go through.

I write not because this is a job,
i just do - for someone who seeks
relief to the burden he has not
spoken out loud.

© pax
Pax Apr 2017
Friend's Sincerity comes with Silent Comfort.
-six word story-

I've seen far enough superficiality in this world. That's why I don't ask much advice from anyone in the outside world. I've decided to look for them myself. A friend who understand without saying much at all, is a treasure.
Pax Apr 2017
In the weirdness of things I burn-out my own will
Begun to suffocate the breathless breathing.
Slowly I’m becoming dead,
the strength I held is not my own.
I still go on, like everything
didn’t seems to matter anymore.

In the commotion of emotions,
Fear is like fuel to my fire –
A spark that kept me block.
Lock on my own isolation,
prisoner of my own dominion.

I wish for the star to shine,
Yet it won’t glow for me,
Unlucky.

© Pax
this was the complete poem of this little piece:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/959592/a-star-wont-glow/
2014 - old work of mine. But there was a commotion of emotions this week, I was sick with Typhoid Fever, I've eating something cheap and gotten me sick. It was frustrating, so alone for two days, its hard even to eat something. when you're in abroad, living alone, its hard to get sick.. even with a roommate, they would not care for you unless your dying. SO i just slept it all up, still in the end you get up and fend for yourself, pick up your pieces even your body is at the weak state. I guess this is adult life with no one to lean on to. sigh..
Now I'm a little better.
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