When I dance I feel alive
I feel the rhythm in my bones
I feel the beat in sync with myself
I feel my heart beat faster
My body moves with passion
I feel like there is something special
Something noticeable about me
When I step onto the dance floor
I feel like myself, completely

"Where does it hurt?"
Everywhere
"Specifically?"
I guess right here
"Your heart?"
Yeah
"That's not a good sign"
"How long has it hurt"
A while I guess
"When is it worse?"
At night and sometimes day
"This could be serious"
"We will take you up for a scan"
Doctor?
"Yes?"
*Please make it go away

I packed your red t-shirt away;
The last bit I kept of you.

Letting go is hard...
But trying to forget is harder.

I clung to that shirt for months.
It smelled of your skin.

But, when I wore it recently,
It felt wrong.

I was weighed down.
You... weighed me down.

I lifted your heavy t-shirt off my shoulders...
To finally feel free.

I'm not good with words
and certainly not good with picking up hints

I have no way to actually put this in words
and I have no way to actually tell you

But recently you've had me floating on a cloud
that you exhaled

And I've never been more happy to have someone stroll into my life

only I know
when I email you
tidbits of life,
that I need only
address you as b,
for in a nano second,
my tablet will acknowledge
that I am writing in secret code to mine own
beloved



~~~
7:05 am
NYC

i want to take you home
even just for a night
we can eat pizza i ordered
and you can have the last slice

we can watch a movie
but i won't follow the plot
i'll just be watching you
and every scene of your body

maybe we can kiss for a bit
and i'll do my very best
but i won't tell you
that i don't know where my toungue goes

how about we sleep together?
i'll try to make you happy
i'll just pretend
that i know what i'm doing

and in the morning
i'll compliment your eyes
and i hope my words aren't stale
like the pizza we had

My lover is
     strong, kind and tender,
but when he held me in his arms
he confessed that he felt
                                          less of a man
because we were clothed only in
vulnerability
but hadn't known each other yet.
                   "Any other guy would jump at this opportunity" he said.
"But you're not any other guy,"
I said.
"And that's why I'm laying here"

Maybe I loved a little too hard.

A little too much.

A little too annoying.

A little too passive aggressively.

A little too bad.

A little too good.

A little too sudden.

A little too selflessly.

A little too ******.

A little too much depth.

A little too much passion.

A little too much.

Maybe I loved a little too much.